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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

naive....been conned out of £500....AIBU to not want DH to go round to this persons house?

42 replies

mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:18

Bit of background, we have known this builder/ plumber for 2 years. He has been round to our house about 4 times over that time to do some plumbing and electrical jobs for us. We had built up a good relationship, to the extent that on the last job we gave him a set of keys to be able to get into our house and fix a leak.

The last job was sizable enough for us to claim through the insurance company...he started work and asked us up front for cash for materials. Given that we have never had a problem with him at all, we gave him the money. Then gave him the cheque to cash and he promised once funds had cleared to give us £500 back.

He has not turned up when he said he would, his mobile doesnt work and I am pretty certain that he is up shit creek financially and has no intention of returning the monies.

Now we have his home address and DH wants to go round and see him this weekend and ask for our money to be returned. Failing that, he then wants to pursue through the small claims court.

I want us to chalk this up to a very expensive lesson and leave it. He knows where we live and although I am getting the locks changed, really don't want any fall out from potentially pursuing this guy. AIBU?

DH thinks I am being a wuss, I think karma is a bitch and what goes round comes round.

Opinions please, WWYD?

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 17/12/2010 11:21

Why was he giving you £500 back?

theevildead2 · 17/12/2010 11:21

don't let DH go round as it could turn nasty, drop a letter off in case the person really is in some trouble or not well. If nothign then I would pursue it through the courts. What lesson is there to learn from this? You had a trusted builder and you paid him to do work up front. Most people do.

Original poster
mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:23

Because he was buying materials to start the job. The insurance company made the cheque directly out to him with the cost of the materials included in that cheque. He therefore owed us the cash amount back and he knew it as he confirmed how much was coming back to us.

OP posts:
curlymama · 17/12/2010 11:23

I would write or email him and let him know you want the money back within a certain amount of time. Say that you will go to small claims if he hasn't paid by x date. The if he doesn't pay, take him to court.

You are right not to let Dh go to his house, and you do need to get the locks changed asap.

Gotabookaboutit · 17/12/2010 11:26

Dont let DH go round - send him a letter gving him7 days to pay or you will take him to small claims . If he does not pay take him to small claims will cost £25ish

classydiva · 17/12/2010 11:26

Unless you have something in writing re the money court won't really help, albeit you should put something in writing to him and send it recorded stating that should he not return the money he owes you will seek legal redress.

It might work.

Why you would give someone 500 more than they need though beats me.

classydiva · 17/12/2010 11:27

Taking him to court wont get you your money back unless he has it to give.

Tanso · 17/12/2010 11:27

you cant let this builder get away with it. He will think it is easy and do it to other people. Its not fair that someone such as he should keep the money with no problem. Your husband is right
I guess it depends how much money means to you. Obviously not too much

JeezyPeeps · 17/12/2010 11:29

Have you considered speaking to the insurance company directly? Or at least threatening the builder with that?

bunnymother · 17/12/2010 11:29

I send your DH around to his house to hand deliver a letter of demand (or the like - that's what we use in Australia. Its the precursor to starting small claims proceedings), and strict instructions that he is to give him the letter and nothing more (ie no discussion beyond "this is a letter of demand", and certainly no yelling etc). Only if your DH can do this - some people can't help but get involved in an argument.

Plumber will know you are serious about this. Think sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself, and £500 is pretty good motivation to do so! Obv your home locks need to be changed asap.

RunnerHasbeen · 17/12/2010 11:29

Did you get any sort of receipt or invoice from him? I think what I would do is write to him, not asking for money (as that will scare him off if he is having problems) but for receipts or a breakdown of what he bought, for the insurance claim. There is a chance he might still be able to finish the work for you, especially if it is a way of getting more money afterwards from the insurance claim. Has he finished the job? I am assuming he stopped halfway through.

I wouldn't turn it into a battle, act concerned - hope he is okay, assuming it is the snow etc. I think that people who bury their head in the sand and avoid problems respond better to you if you pretend there is no problem either. Much better to act like it is both of you working together for insurance than him personally stealing from you.

MorticiaAddams · 17/12/2010 11:30

I see, so the £500 was for labour which you were then going to give to him once he'd done the work? (Not being funny, genuinely trying to understand the situation as I've never had to claim for insurance for something like this).

I wouldn't let it go, that's far too much money and he either needs to complete the job or give you the whole amount back, presuming that he hasn't bought the materials.

I'd either go along the route of sending a recorded delivery letter and asking for reimbursement or the work done by a certain date otherwise you'll take him to the small claims court or I'd contact the insurance company and see what they say.

Original poster
mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:32

£500 means a lot to me! I am getting an additional sum of money from work in the new year and am using that to replace this for budget purposes.

But I equally dont trust this person, I thought I knew him but obviously I dont. All it takes is someone to come to your house in the middle of the night and slash tires on all the cars because they are pissed at you, and you are more than £500 out of pocket.

I am weighing up hassle and potential risk with £500.

But we are also in a difficult situation as I didnt ask him for a receipt when I gave him the cash. Naive, naive and so stupid!

OP posts:
classydiva · 17/12/2010 11:33

The insurance company won't be interested you were the fool who paid him £500 too much, insurance companies are not accountable for peoples foolhardiness.

Original poster
mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:37

Moriticia - sorry, am not being clear

He started a job and asked for payment for materials up front. We gave him that money. The payment for the job including materials was coming through the insurance company. They can take a while to process the claim and given we had a leak that needed stopping, we gave him money to get the job started.

The insurance company sent a cheque made out to him directly for the full amount. We gave that to him to cash and then he was due to return the £500 that needed to come back to us (in essence it was an interim payment that needed to come back to us)

Am I making sense?

OP posts:
stubbornhubby · 17/12/2010 11:38

if I understand you right: you have no proof that you ever gave him £500, so he will simply say that you never did.

end of small claim.

would anyone give £500 in cash to a builder without a receipt ??

MorticiaAddams · 17/12/2010 11:38

Sorry, I've just reread your post again and think I understand. You gave him £500 cash for the materials before the cheque came and then gave him the cheque as well which included £500 for materials as well as the labour and he was going to give you the £500 back.

It's going to be hard to prove the cash sum if you didn't get a receipt. Can you phone your insurance company to see if the cheque can be stopped?

MorticiaAddams · 17/12/2010 11:39

X-Posted, yes you are making sense, I wasn't reading it correctly.

overmydeadbody · 17/12/2010 11:40

mistletoe just because this man has no moirals when it comes to money doesn't necessarily turn him into a tyre-slashing psycho.

You need to ask fo your money back.

ratspeaker · 17/12/2010 11:41

Can I just get this clear in my mind
You gave him money out your own pocket for materials
he was to reimburde this when insurance claim was settled
You then gave him the cheque from insrance company which was made out directly to him
He has not returned the material money
Did he do the work the insurnce company paid him to do?
If not they may be able to stop the cheque or take action against him
If he's done the work and its a question of just the material money its going to be difficult but maybe worth persuing through small claims court
Change your locks asap btw

MorticiaAddams · 17/12/2010 11:42

Did he actually do the work?

Igglystuffedfullofturkey · 17/12/2010 11:48

Can you get the cheque stopped?

stubbornhubby · 17/12/2010 11:53

small claims won't work. he'll just deny that you ever gave him £500...

Original poster
mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:56

yes, job was finished.

cheque has cleared, so is too late and not even going to waste time of insurance company, the responsibility is wholly ours.

classydiva - I agree with you. we have been stupid and naive, but we work on the principle of building relationships and trust. And this is the first time it has backfired on us. The sad truth is now I will not work on a trust basis with anyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
mistletoekisses · 17/12/2010 11:58

stubbornhubby - i agree with you and I for that reason, I think we need to leave it.

Locksmith is coming in the next 2 hours, so am already on that.

Whilst feeling incedibly stupid, I also feel really sad and let down.

OP posts:
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