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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be tired of gritting my teeth and smiling about this?

68 replies

SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 10:59

I am totally fed up with people commenting on my height.

It's not acceptable to say to a complete stranger 'ooh, aren't you fat' or 'gosh, aren't you coloured' or 'crkey, aren't you XXXX (insert comment of choice)'

Why, therefore, do people I have never seen before feel it is ok to come up to me and make comments about my height? It's not like I don't know I'm 6' 2". Believe it or not, I have noticed. No, it's not colder up here, yes, I do find it harder to buy clothes, yes, I have heard of Long Tall Sally, no, I haven't always dated men taller than me.

It's not even the little old ladies who want me to get something down off the top shelf in the supermarket that annoy me. At least there is a logic in that. Its the people who just strike up random conversations or make comments. They don't even realise they're being rude.

AIBU to come up with a couple of comebacks and then actually use them?

Xmas Grin

It's either that or carry a stun gun.

Actually, maybe the question should be AIBU not to use a stun gun.

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 11:39

Thanks Stripey!

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 11:40

ha ha ha 3seater!

OP posts:
3seater · 17/12/2010 11:47

I know you could never really use it, but in our house we indulge in the fantasy of it.

I think the thing to try and keep in mind is that most people feel it is ok (not that I aagree) to comment on someone's height, is because in our culture being tall is seen as a positive thing, assosciated with wealth, power, status etc.

GetOrfMoiLand · 17/12/2010 11:49

Someone called you a freak? What complete losers they are.

You should have stood on his bloody toe. Hard. And said 'sorry, didn't see you down there'.

I don't think I have had strangers being rude, though. Perhaps I am rather hatchet of face and scare 'em off

Chil1234 · 17/12/2010 11:50

'Tall', same as 'slim', is a compliment.

pickledsiblings · 17/12/2010 11:57

OP, I don't like to be rude either. I save my witty retorts for 'friends'.

Original poster
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 12:03

When I worked in London I actually used to have Japanese tourists asking to have their photos taken with me if I was standing waiting for a friend or whatever.

I soon learnt to just sit down to avoid them!

OP posts:
HowsTheSerenity · 17/12/2010 12:03

I am the short one.
Dad - 6'4
Brother - 6'2
Uncle - 6'10
Cousin - 6'9
Cousin (girl) 6'1
Cousin - ............ wait for it....7'1

I am only 5'7 (and a half)

Cyclebump · 17/12/2010 12:09

As I said before, I'm the shortest of three girls.

My sisters have called me 'Stümpig' (Amish for runt of the litter) or stumpy for years.

Our neighbours used to call us the Amazonian woman tribe and tell my parents how lucky they felt to have a whole house of models living next door. Bless them!

FiveColdRingsForSolo · 17/12/2010 12:12

My little brother is 6'8" and takes all comments with a smile and good humour. He's also built like a brick toilet Wink so lots of people are afraid of him, especially little old ladies in Sainsbury, so he goes out of his way to be pleasant and helpful to them.

My paternal Grandma was over 6' tall and my Dad was 6'5"...the thing to remember too is that as you get older, you usually get shorter. I was once almost 5'11" but now am only 5'8" and I'm quite sad about that.

So OP, be proud and just carry on smiling. You might just be 5'11" one day and miss those comments.

WriterofDreams · 17/12/2010 12:16

If you can perfect a withering or "nutter alert" (a la MuminScotland) look that's the best defence I think because it really cuts people down to size. I was quite a swot in school and people tried repeatedly to bully me but I have such a vicious look that it saved me. In fact one girl mocked me for putting up my hand in class and I silently turned and looked at her, it shut her up and I turned back. Couple of minutes later she rushed out the toilet. She was crying Shock and her friend told me it was my fault. I quite rightly said that I hadn't even said a word to her, which made her look like even more of a twat. Result!

When I was training to be a teacher one of my supervisors commented that I needed no help with discipline as I had a look that could kill. She meant it as a very big compliment :) I use the look sparingly as it has quite an effect but it has been very handy for quietening unruly children.

If you find a look hard to do then perfecting the art of ignoring people can be very useful too. Nothing makes an idiot feel more twattish than if they make a witty remark only to be met with a blank face and a nose in the air.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 17/12/2010 12:22

I am 'only\ 5'10, and live amongst giants, but still get the comments. My little sister just about scrapes in at 5' nothing.
When we lived in Thailand I attracted many comments along the lines of me being a ladyboy. I suppose my short hair doesn't help.
I always wear heels if we go out and have great joy at looking down at men with short person syndrome. Those that bounce up and down on their heels really piss me off.

Original poster
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 12:23

I just tried my withering look on the cat.

She withered me back.

I need to work on that one!

OP posts:
Original poster
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets · 17/12/2010 12:25

Kreecher - what about men who fondle their ties? Or come up to your cleavage?

Xmas Grin
OP posts:
Cyclebump · 17/12/2010 12:28

NEVER try the look of death on a cat, they have reflection tactics that bounce it back to you (especially lady cats).

kreecherlivesupstairs · 17/12/2010 12:30

Snowy (or should I call you gigantor as my DD said to me recently), my finest hour was hooking the toupe off a man with a button on the cuff of a blouse. That will teach him to stare at my cleavage.

Cyclebump · 17/12/2010 12:33

Hahahahahahahahahhahaahahhahaahahaha

Ormirian · 17/12/2010 12:33

I don't get that any more. But I'm a titch at only 5' 11" Grin DB is 6'5 and still does. I guess it's making conversation but still it's very unoriginal and sometimes a bit rude.

I like being tall. I do sometimes look at teeny weeny little women with small hands and delicate feet and wonder what it feels like. Might be nice to a fairy instead of a troll Grin But hey.... I still like it better this way,

pickledsiblings · 17/12/2010 12:56

Ohh, I have a withering look but since I am not on most peoples eye level it is of limited use. Works in the classroom a treat though, like yours Writer. Can also make my nostrils also flare ever so slightly Grin.

I have small hands and delicate feet (my best feature). It feels nice - lots of room in bed and on airplanes.

Snowy, I tend to ask aged gentlemen (rather than tall ladies) to reach things down from high shelves. Their wives usually glow with pride at their gallantry Smile.

bumperella · 17/12/2010 13:02

I totally agree with you: I'm tall too and comments can get irritating. Honestly, I think a lot of people really do mean to be complementary, but forget that just becuase they would like to be taller doesn't mean anyone else does!
I used to live in Japan, after a while I just got so used to it I no longer care, even now as am back in UK.

TinselinaBumSquash · 17/12/2010 13:07

I have the oppisite, im only 5ft and children find it appropriate to say 'im taller than you!' i give the withering glare.

My Mum was only 4ft 10 and got the same, my dad was nealry 7ft so they were a comical couple.

TinselinaBumSquash · 17/12/2010 13:09

I have tiny hands and one teen i knows loves making me put my hand up against his, he can't quite belive how tiny they are. He is 15 and looks like a Bear next to me. Grin

itsatiggerday · 17/12/2010 13:12

Agree it's rude, but you could always point out how much easier it is than being short, I'd love to be taller. So many advantages, not having your nose placed ideally for people's armpits on the tube, not having to find a chair to get anything down from a cupboard in the kitchen, not providing a convenient armrest for my DB... Oh I could go on.

Longtinsellyjosie · 17/12/2010 13:24

'Tall', same as 'slim', is a compliment.

Hmm... Even the person who once said to me (in reaction to a different person paying me a compliment):

"Yeah, but you're tall, aren't you? When I look at you, all I see is tall. I dated a married man once and it stands to reason, no-one would be faithful to someone who's that height.

?

That, I would posit, was not intended as a compliment.

BendyBobCratchit · 17/12/2010 13:29

I'm 5'9 (I was 5'10 but I think I've shrunk with age Confused).

I especially get all those oh so unfunny comments about my dc who are much taller than their peers.

I've pretty much exhausted all the witty come backs nowHmm I just say yes it's lovely to be tall because you never fade into the background and to have such fabulous legs (eyeing their v small dc as I say it).

I'm not sure how you can adapt that when talking about yourself. I is pretty tiresome when people keep on and on about it I totally agree.

Just look puzzled next time and say sorry I didn't hear you down there, did you say something?

Sometimes getting someone to repeat the 'joke' cos you didn't get it deflates the whole thing and makes them look silly instead of you.