To buy 'secret' Christmas presents

[loveulotslikejellytots]

DH and I always set a limit for how much we will spend on family and friends at Christmas. This year has been a little tighter than others and every one is in the same boat.

We have said £20 on Parents and £10 for Auntie's, Uncle's, Brother's and Sister's. This may sound extreme but we both have very big families, and everyone buys for everyone iyswim.

My 2 brothers, my Sister and I are the only 'Children' so to speak in My family. So our Auntie has always spoilt us and still does to this day even though I am in my 20's. I am very close to my (only) Auntie, and over the past 3 or 4 years she has really helped us out with various things. The same goes for my Mum and DH's Mum. They have both helped us a lot and I think they deserve more. DH thinks that we have set a limit we should stick to it. I haven't really pushed the subject any more.

But would IBU to go out on Saturday and buy them something else as well on my credit card? (Which has nothing on it yet). Bearing in mind my Auntie will almost definately spend about £150 on me and the same on DH. Both Mum's (and Dad's) give cash to us at Christmas, which will still be more than what we have spent on them.

I'm not talking hundreds,but another gift of say £20?

If your DH disagrees then I'd say stick to the agreed budget.

I totally understand where you are coming from though. My OH & both have big families too and my side of the family are generally pretty well off so think nothing of spending £100+ on a present. If I did that, it would financially ruin me. Where do you draw the line though?

I don't think you can do it without agreeing with DH but you could remind him of all the things Auntie has done to help you and say you want to show a bit of appreciation for that now.

I'd do it with DH's knowledge, but to be honest your aunt sounds lovely and if you exlpained why you had "only" spent 10 pounds this year on her I expect she'd understand and prefer a small gift to another one that put you in any way in debt. Maybe make her something nice in addition to your gift? Can you knit, draw, cook or bake? Even make her some jam or something!

Would you be able to put together a gift that doesn't a lot of money but instead shows thought - can you put together a breakfast kit, for example, using ingredients from your kitchen - a fruit muffin mix made up in a glass jar (all the dried ingredients you probably already have, and the recipient only has to add an egg, milk etc.); a jar of jam needn't be expensive; fruit juice could finish it off. Or an afternoon tea kit with a beautiful mug found at a charity shop, a few nice tea bags wrapped in pretty paper, a cake mix in a jar...

I don't think you should go against what you have decided with DH, and you certainly shouldn't be putting things on credit that you can't afford without his knowledge.

I agree with Jenny, do something personal and thoughtful and cheap! It would probably be appreciated more anyway because people that are able to be generous often don't want to put someone in the position of feeling that they have to spend extra, it defeats the point of their gift.

Send a thoughtful card or make something with the dc's. Do some cupcakes or something, and present them in a way that shows you have taken time and effort.

Or wait until next year and just send a surprise bunch of flowers to show you are being thoughtful and appreciative of their generosity.

What about having flowers delivered during the festive season as a thank you for all they have done...that way it is not an 'extra' present to be opened infront of other people...but rather a token of your thanks. Maybe a hamper or flowers and chocolate type thing?

I'd make something for them - cakes or something like gingerbread men which keep for a bit longer. You could always buy a cheap but pretty tin to present them in?

Thanks, never thought of baking something. I love the idea of sending the cake mix in a jar, for someone to finish off but unfortunately my Aunt lives off cheese on toast! Thats as far as her culinary skills go!

I might see what I can find at the weekend that is inexpensive and I'll put a hamper of some sort together.

Our Mum's understand that we are not in a position to spend a lot, and although My Auntie would understand, I dont really discuss money with her. I feel bad as well because her Birthday (August) I promised to spend the day with her, then couldn't get the whole day off! And the week before her birthday had to shell out on a boiler repair (which wasn't covered by plumbing insurance - whole other thread) so only managed a token present then as well!