to be upset and angry that DP hasn't earned in 3 months

[BextheBambi]

little background.

DP was forced out of his old job by a new power hungry boss, i supported him in leaving as I could see he was getting very down trying to live up to impossible expectations. At this time i was 7 1/2 months pg and in hospital for the remainder due to complications.

DP did try to find a job was offered a new one and was messed around with starting dates for a month. Again i didnt shout or have a go at him as it wasnt his fault.

What started to upset me was the fact he took 3 jobs but quit as "they didnt pay enough" or "he got an offer of a better job". This is after DD has been born and i've been diagnosed with PND.

He then starts SIA training for security, £a total of £350, but once completed doesnt send the form off until 3 weeks after. meanwhile has started a new job, and here's the punchline, DP rings the payment agency and they have no record of him or anyone for the last 4 weeks from that company. Basically he's been working for free for 3 weeks.

We are now into minus numbers on our account, I've used the last of my grandads inheritance to keep up with rent, and the last of my giftcards from my birthday (which i was quite looking forward to spending on some clothes that actually fit) on formula for DD, no matter what i try she wont latch on aparanntley some preterm babies dont.

AIBU to think he should have just taken any job he could for the time being so we could actually buy some food. I even offered to go looking for a job for me, if he couldnt decide to stick to something. my Sis and BIL have voiced there disgust at the fact his arsing around and most have my family have been taking it out on me, which isnt helping really. I would just like to know that we have a secure place in my home, that we can eat and my DD is going to be ok.

YANBU.

However, the company he was working for will have records of him, signing in and out etc so he needs to get off his arse and chase that up to get paid. That is his task for tomorrow as in the immediate future you need money.

Are you getting enough tax credits etc and are they paid into your bank account as opposed to his?

He needs to do whatever it takes right now to put food on the table.

Longterm.... is this what you want?

YANBU to be upset - you have PND and the last thing you need is the stress of having to worry about DHs work and money.

I think he should have stuck with a job that was paying given the circumstances and he was being selfish to quite for fairly frivolous reasons.

It's also very unfair that your family are taking it out on you - you need to tell them you know the situation is bad and you don't need them to rub it in / make you feel worse.

Finally - can he do something practical about recouping the payment for the 3 weeks work. Did he sign a contract? Have anything in writing?

We've claimed for all the benefits we can which isnt much in retrospect as DP keeps changing his job.

I'm really struggling to copewith feeding DD looking after her and trying to muster something healthy to eat for everyone with little to nothing.

Longterm i know that as soon as he gets his SIA license there are plenty of jobs out there for trained security staff i just wish he'd sent his forms in sooner.

I love DP very much, i wouldn't have had DD if i didn't, but he likes to run before he can walk IYKWIM

I've already told DP and his friend, who was working there too, to contact the company directly and contact citizens advice to find out the best solution.