...to think that if we both work, childcare arrangements are joint responsibility?

[Odysseus]

...or should I just accept that of course DH's job is far more important?

I do just work part time, so it doesn't really count as work, does it?

Partly a face.

honkytonk - discussion is always the key.

Whenever I see a thread saying an OP must get their DH to do x,y or z, I'm always .

Surely the way forward is to discuss and to keep on reviewing and discussing.

When I had DC I assumed I would continue to work. So did DH. However, as we struggled with childcare issues, it became increasingly clear that a 50/50 spilt was unachievable for us.
DH is often abroad, his hours are long and inflexible, and even if not, he is over an hour away.

And yes, we agreed, that if push came to shove, his job was more important to us. His earnings way outstrip mine and frankly, we like the lifestyle it gives us.

However, this has all been discussed and agreed upon.