to want ds1 to be slightly poorly for the rest of his life

[bosch]

DS1 is such a trial to us, he is intelligent, funny, bright, entertaining, kind and thoughtful.

He's also a bloo*y pain in the neck, he won't communicate, he won't listen to us or tell me what he's feeling, he won't observe normal manners (please, thankyou, not picking his nose, weeing IN the toilet not just in the vague direction).

But he's had a sore throat, chesty cough, temp up and down for nearly a week now. And it's like it's just taken the edge off him and he's been a delight to be around. He remembers his manners, he communicates. He still picks his nose but I can forgive that. What is it that makes him nicer to be around when he's slightly under the weather? I wonder if it's a hormonal thing - is there just a bit less testosterone when he's not 100%?

How old is he? I totally sympathise with the weeing thing - have just mopped the toilet floor myself.

But i daresay you are being a little bit U

Know what you mean. My DS is 3.5 and autistic so when he's under par we always take advantage of his reduced strength to get his hair cut

Reminds me of that part in 'We need to talk about Kevin' where he's only manageable when he's ill.

my ds1 is far more subdued when poorly.

but his wee face!

so on balance, i'll take the healthy boy. but i get where you are coming from.

thanks for the support. and the err ...I'm being serious and facetious at the same time

btw, he's 9! tbh, dh and I have talked so many times about whether to ask the gp if we can take ds1 to a shrink. He is really lovely and appalling, sometimes.

my nephew is 18 and autistic, and I have serious conversations with my sisters about the extent to which my dad and big brother might be on the autistic spectrum. Have never talked to them about ds1 though - bit too close to home...

DS1 is 4.5 and sounds a little like your LO.

He's not ill very often but I'm always reminded of We Need To Talk About Kevin when he is.

He hit his head a few weeks ago and had a massive egg on the bag. It really knocked the stuffing out of him, more in confidence than physically. He sat and drew, looked at some books, helped me cook. It was lovely.

No jumping on furniture, no silly noises.

So yes, you are being unreasonable but I know what you mean

Awful to wish your child to be ill.

coccyx, I don't think that the OP (or me for that matter) are genuinely wishing them to be ill.

It's just that sometimes it's comforting to be reminded of their vulnerability.

I know what you mean your not wishing him to be ill, DS is 16 has ASD and up until about 18 months ago the only time he was manageable was when he was ill.

coccyx- no, I don't really wish my child to be ill.

I want to understand why he is such a pleasure to live with when he's under the weather.

The contrast with when he's well is so extreme. It makes me really sad that I compare his appalling behaviour to ds2's good behaviour. Ds2 isn't spectacularly well behaved, he's just normal. All the time (well, nearly )

I understand completely. We have a 9.7 DD who in general is lovely, but a couple of times a day we get the nasty side.
She was sick this week and became very loving, affectionate and just nice.
I don't wish her long term illness, but a bit of being poorly makes her a much nicer person.