To be angry at mindee's mum for not answering her phone?

[NJE]

Mum has changed one of two door locks and hasn't handed me out a key for the new lock. Until now she never locked the other lock when I had to bring her daughter home and I could open the door with the other key. I wasn't home the last two days and picked up her daughter at 6pm from the childminder today just to come home and realise that she locked both of the locks. Great. I send her emails, phoned her about 50 times over the last two hours and she doesn't answer my calls. I am really angry. I know that she has some drink do tonight but that is no reason not to look at her phone.

Luckily our neighbours came home just a few minutes ago and let us in until mum comes home. L is seven and should have been in bed by 8pm.

I am furious. L could have had an accident etc.

Mum will probably not come home before midnight.

I would not be working with this woman any longer.
I think you need to find other people to form attachments to. The longer you stay with this woman the more she will abuse you and you will continue to get closer to the child.
You have to accept she's not your kid and you are not there to "save" her but supposed to be doing a professional job.
How much of your life do you want to give to this woman? Find other people to love.

2rebecca, I don't think the OP is doing this because she is desperate for someone to love. She has grown to love the little girl and obviously doesn't want to just cast her off. NJE, I am glad you called the NSPCC

That poor child :( and poor you - sounds utterly grim

What time did she eventually roll in then?

Are you ok?

I am shocked by this. This woman is out on the piss and knows that you and her DD are locked out of your home and are currently sleeping on a neighbours sofa. Did she drop everything and dash back to let you in? I hope so but reading your other post there is a chance that she didn't.

If she didn't then I would call this the last straw. You need to tell her that if she doesn't shape up you will take advice from a third party - NSPCC or SS.

To me at least this is neglectful behaviour on the part of an incapable mother. She sounds deep in denial but clearly needs help. Maybe the involvement of SS would give her a wake up call.

What did the NSPCC say?

I think if the OP's employer doesn't pay her and treat her properly then she should leave. This isn't "casting off" the little girl. It sounds as though the OP has taken on emotionally the role of mother which isn't good for her.
The days of being treated like a serf whilst looking after someone else's children should be long gone. Yes childminders should become attached to the kids they look after, but not to the extent that they screw their own lives up for the sake of someone else's kids.
That sort of self sacrifice isn't emotionally healthy.

This thread and the other one are utterly shocking - I hope the mother turned up eventually.

What a difficult situation for a 20-year-old to be in - and well done NJE for being there for this little girl.

actually I think it's a shame that more people don't allow themselves to get as "involved" as the OP has

she is the only thing holding this little girl's life together right now by the sounds of it.
I certainly couldn't just walk away from that and I think the OP is doing an amazing thing for her by staying

yes, I agree that things need sorting, and that will inevitably lead to her leaving the family, but it isn't a situation you can just wash your hands of is it?

I hope you get some good advice from the NSPCC NJE, and please do consider calling social services too