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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be upset with this friend

4 replies

christmasrocks · 15/12/2010 17:26

Am really upset and also wondering if IABU. A friend of many years had a DD a couple of months after I had my DD, they are both nearly two. I have had to put up with her competiveness since their births, my DS was born with a cleft palate and is has been slightly behind with eating ind and talking, although we have now found out that he has some hearing problems. This I havent minded, however, I got married a couple of months ago and quite a few young children were coming, I rang all the parents and told them not to worry at all should the children make a noise, they couldnt get out of the room and the registrar said she could shout louder than any child and that everyone was just to enjoy the wedding, needless to say some children made a noise, no one minded at all. I was told after the service, that she was really laying into her child for screaming through the service and that she was ashamed etc.... anyway she promptly took the child to her sisters as she said she was not well behaved enough to come to the reception, I was really upset to hear this as the afternoon had been geared around the children, but I didnt say anything. Anyway this afternoon she rang and left a message to thank me so much for the lovely christmas present that I had sent her daughter, how much her DD would love it when they showed her, blah blah. I am really upset now cos I sent the present for her daughter for christmas who at two i would have thought would have fun opening. Just feel slightly put out by it all, cos we were really good friends and I`ve always really treasured good friendship, and now I dont feel we are even on the same planet. Am AIBU?

OP posts:
anonacfr · 15/12/2010 17:35

YABU.

Re the service, however much someone tells me that they wouldn't mind if my child was loud, I would feel ashamed and take my child out if I felt they were being particularly disruptive.
I think it's nice of you to say you don't mind children being a bit rowdy, but it's only considerate of her to not want to spoil your day.
Why were you so upset that she took her DD to her sister's? She's only 2, it's not that big a deal. It's likely she would have had more fun at her aunt's anyway. Grin

Re the Xmas present, it is a bit odd that she opened it but again at 2 my DD didn't care about opening presents at Xmas.

I don't see any hint of competitiveness if the examples you've listed and as for losing a friendship over them.... Hmm

There must be more to it surely?

IAmReallyFabNow · 15/12/2010 17:35

Are you saying you are upset because she has opened the present that was for her daughter? If so, I agree that is a rather strange thing to do but would you have been as bothered if she hadn't left your wedding?

howtoapproach · 15/12/2010 17:41

I think you may be being a bit over sensitive. She may have been having trouble coping with her 2 yr old at your wedding, or thought she was spoiling the day. Re the present - maybe she just didn't think. These don't sound like major crimes to me.

christmasrocks · 15/12/2010 17:45

Yep, BU, just read it and realise that being over sensitive!! sometimes just need to air it and then you realise maybe you arnt looking at it objectively, at the end of the day lifes to short!! Thank you, short and sweet x

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