Not really AIBU, but more a "how do you cope" - with a proper skint Christmas?

[justmeandmyselfandthechild]

It's really doing my head in, this is set to be a really skint Christmas, though I've spent my "spare" money making sure that DS has got good presents thanks to half price offers at ELC...

Though I've got no money that I can spend on ANYONE else and am just sick to death of the whole thing.

I have no kitchen table as I freecycled it to make me more inclined to get a new one in time for Christmas and have not bought my tree yet (I thought I'd be able to get one cut price from the supermarket again but they haven't got any this year)

Best thing is that my mum's family are "taking care of her", making sure that she isn't on her own at Chirstmas/Boxing day and are having her round for dinner on Boxing day and for wine and frivolities Christmas Day daytime before dinner and in doing so are making it so that I have to spend the majority of both days on my own.

I just don't know what to do or how other people cope with it

Also wondered if anyone is going away for Christmas and would like to let their house to me for a couple of days so that I can just hide and not have to face it. Every time I get a Christmas card I just shove it in a drawer and do not want to write my own, though I've had them since September.

Just a bit too much for me this year and locking the doors and keeping the curtains closed from Christmas Eve till New Year is starting to sound like the best course of action!

Do you and DS like party games? Here's some party games with a Christmassy twist the two of you could have some fun with:

Pin the nose on Rudolph - you could have fun making rudolph, then blindfold DS and let him have a go. Then when you have a go, get him to join in by telling you where you should be putting the nose. I reckon this could be fun for a 4 year old?

Santa says - just like Simon says - when Santa says to do something, DS must do it. But when you tell them to something, he mustn't follow your instructions (Actually I can see a flaw in that with literal-minded children! )

Treasure hunt - hide one of DS's presents and make some clues and help him find it. (I used to love treasure hunts when I was little!)

Other than that, DVDs, TV, some treat food you know DS will love (especially any stuff he's not usually allowed). Some wine for you.

Do you think you and DS will go stir crazy in all day? Might going out for a little walk at some point break the day up a bit (weather permitting?). We always used to go out for a walk with my dad after dinner and it was strange (in a good way) to see everything so quiet, and to be out on Christmas day.

im having a bit of a skint christmas-and im loving it!

im buying no decs[we ve already got them from last year ect]but we ll make a few paperchains.

as for the presents-
im not buying for most people this year-i cant afford to.

i have spent the last couple of weeks looking for cheap presents for my daughter-
and this has actually been quite fun!
ive got her some very interesting stuff.
[games and books]and shes got stuff that she needs[pyjamas ect]

the stuff i got her i know she would really like-instead of me looking around at what others are getting[eg-the latest fad]

horrors of horrors-most of the xmas dinner veg are frozen and not fresh[im not running around at the last minute looking for carrots when i could be playing games with my daughter]

the crackers are cheap[who remembers last years crackers]

from now up to christmas we will be doing a
[cheap or free]christmassy thing everyday-
today she has the school xmas dinner-
at some point she will be having a friend round and watching a xmas film with popcorn-
going out one evening looking at the christmas lights round here-
going to the woods to collect stuff to make a xmas wreath-
xmas eve listening to a xmas story with a mug of hot choc and mallows-
going on a choc coin hunt ect ect!
yesterday evening she done her cards[cheap ones]!
another day we will be setting up the nativity scene!

on xmas day-we will have a good dinner and a good tea-ive got a few edibles that we dont normally have but i havent gone overboard!

yep-i did feel guilty and horrible when i realised that i couldnt afford much this year but-
for the first time ever-it feels like christmas isnt full of comercialised crap
it feels like a proper christmas and how christmas should be.
im so unstressed its unreal and im really looking forward to christmas this year and im looking forward to relaxing a bit and playing games ect.
usually christmas feels like a checklist of what ive got to do-and get it right!
this year christmas feels like fun!
sometime things are a blessing in disguise!

sparky258, a fantastic post. We have had many skint christmas's in the past. I agree the simpler the better. I'm sure your daughter will have many happy memories of just spending time with her Mum.
I haven't got much to add really, except that the OP mentioned a christmas tree. I have just bought a 3 ft tree from Wilkinsons for £2.99, tree lights for £1.99 and a few decs and tinsel from the 99p shop. It looks really lovely and I honestly prefer it to my big tree downstairs.

Hi, where abouts in the country are you? I have a table you are welcome to if within reasonable distance, been meaning to freecycle it for ages so you would be doing me a favour?

When we were skint at Christmas we used to go out and pick holly, branches with berries on etc to decorate the house. It was one of my favourite Christmas things to do, especially if it had been snowing. Come back home and warm up with hot chocolate and cake and a cuddle in front of a Christmas film. Lovely

oh im praying for snow Quenelle[got rain at the moment]
cant wait to get the old sledge out.
building snowpeople and snowballs!
now that would be very christmassy wouldnt it![fssmile]

I'm on my own with DD on the day - apart from brief visit from Ex. We'll be going to church, unwrapping stocking and saving presents until lunchtime to spread it all out, playing Christmas music and watching TV. Making Christmas dinner for the animals, Skype-ing family, drinking cheapo fixx for breakfast (that's just me ), wearing silly hats.

We won't be making a proper lunch - DD wants chocolate steamed pudding, crackers and egg sandwiches at the moment. That may (hopefully) change! Whatever it is, we'll be picknicking in front of the fire.

Don't get bogged down in the pressure of making the day Nigella-perfect, do what your DS wants. I bet it's playing, selction boxes for lunch and playing with his new toys.

And FWIW, your family don't sound as if they're being very nice to you at all, I'm sure you'll have more fun just the two of you.

Ds and I are on our own on Christmas day.

Ds hates roast dinners so I let him choose what we are having. It will be sausages, beans and chips and ice cream with wafers for pudding.

He is having popcorn and chocolate for breakfast and crisps and toast for tea.

He is ecstatic.

We are very skint too
(lone parent with part time job)

Ds has made me a christmas gift and card and I have bought several very small presents. One is a gift voucher to spend a minimum of an hour doing a project of his choice with my undivided attention.

Others are for me to spend time doing little bits and pieces with him that he has been asking for for ages.

He is really looking forward to it.

dont forget to track santa on christmas eve.
sorry-i cant do links but for those of you that dont know it-
google norad tracking santa-and you will come to it!
always fun and theres some games on there aswell.

There's some great ideas here, I hope they help. [Fsmile]

We used to go on a walk in the evening on christmas eve or day with my parents, with torches or lanterns

How about a carol service or church service? Where my parents live they do special services for small children which are really popular

Could you get some christmassy story books/ picture books from the library?

OP go and read this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/Christmas/1097670-How-to-explain-to-DD-3

It is one of the loveliest threads I have ever read on any parenting site and will give you so many good ideas..

My all time favourite christmas mememory from before my children was when I was about 16 my much loved gradfather got out his harmonika (mouth organ) and played 2 christmas songs for us. He had a heart attack when I was 14 and we thought we were going to loose him and he never really managed to get enough puff to play again so when he did that christmas it gave me tears in my eyes..

didnt cost a single penny but I am 40 now and it is still a treasurred memory..

thats what christmas is all about memories

With such a small child, it is very easy to make xmas magical.

It's all done for you...Santa, his elves, flying reindeer. All you have to do is channel it in your direction.

Has a letter been sent to Santa? It's not too late you know. And sometimes he sends replies .
Then there's the food to think about...will the reindeer prefer carrots or apples?
And tea lights were left in the window to guide them in.
And our house used to get covered in elf dust...which looked remarkably like glitter, but was magic.

We once got a Christmas tree from the local school! They were throwing it out as the children had broken up.

I hope that with all this lovely advice you are starting to look forward to the day now. I am sure your ds will have a lovely day with you

Its only a day, don't get the big deal, stress of it all people inflict on themselves

"popcorn and chocolate for breakfast and crisps and toast for tea."

brilliant!