would you be unhappy about this?

[pantsnamechange]

my friends 4yr old dd is a tomboy and loves anything to do with football,cars and most of her friends are boys(she is in reception)
this little girl also will say she wants to be referred to by a boys name sometimes.
my friend isnt in the slightest bit concerned or worried by this(i dont think she should be worried either),the issue my friend has is that after having an accident at school this week her dd was sent home in boxer shorts!!
whilst my friend is not desperatly unhappy about this she is of the oppinion that its a bit inapropriate.
what are peoples feelings on this one?is my friend being unreasonable?

maybe her daughter chose to wear the boxers. I can't see what the problem is to be honest.

Was that all the spare underwear available perhaps?

I imagine it was less of a conscious decision and more of a case of what the school had available to give her!! I think your friend is probably reading far too much into this.

As long as she was clean and warm I would be happy and not concerned about boxer shorts.

she had an accident, they gave her fresh pants.

I'm not sure what the problem is.

the TA or teacher has just grabbed the first thing available that'll fit without falling down

I wouldn't mind

I'm guessing that was the only spare underwear that was available, I don't think it's anything to worry about at all tbh, better than sending her home in none???

If her dd wasn't bothered then their is no problem

I wouldn't be surprised if it's just all they had in her size. Especially in reception.

I doubt it's anything to do with her being a tomboy!

What is the issue?

Her dd wants to be referred to as a boy and has been given boys boxers, so what?

They were clean, that is all that matters.

I wouldn't be bothered at all. Pants are pants, as long as they were clean and dry

Don't really see the link between the little girl being a tomboy, and being sent home in boxers after an accident.

Gawd, I sometimes wear boxers. They're comfy

I really do not see the problem either.
Having said that, they would have had their work cut out trying to get my little girl (5) into boxers.
Hers have to be pretty, and preferably sparkly!!!

I like the ladies boxers, DS has hated pants since about 2 1/2 and will only wear the fitted trunks.

My friends DD who 5 and as girly as they come, chose those (the trunks) over some plain white pants he had and had never worn stating they are the comfiest pants shes ever worn!! (they'd both got v wet in the garden!!)

She now will only wear girls boxers!!! (but pink and sparkly too!)

I think I see exactly what you think the problem is. You and friend feel clear in your own minds that the little girl knows she is a girl but at this stage of her life chooses certain things that are traditionally a male preserve.
You feel that at age 5 she doesn't have gender issues.
BUT, with the school possibly taking her 'gender' choices 'seriously' you wonder whether her behaviour should have been nipped in the bud sooner, or before you know it she'll be 16 and railroaded into gender reassignment surgery.
Give the teacher a pair of knickers and ask her to keep them in the class cupboard so she is prepared for any possible future accidents.

I would have assumed that they had no girls ones or the girl had requested it.

My children have come home in uniform/underwear that is meant for the opposite sex. They would have been embarrassed/angry if they'd known but they were oblivious. My ds often goes commando so if he has an accident then he would probably turn down any underwear.

I'd tell your friend to make sure that she donated any underwear that her dd grows out of so that in future, girls get to wear the "correct" underwear.

Your friend is paranoid. She probably expected or wanted her little girl to be girlie, and is dissapointed that she's not.

If she has no pre existing worries over this, she would not have thought twice about it.