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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with the health visitors?

26 replies

PartialToACupOfMilo · 14/12/2010 15:41

My dh has my dd on a Monday and a Tuesday as I'm at work - although today I'm home sick Sad. Anyway dd was due her 1 year check today - which has been a huge fuss to organise as they can only 'do' Wednesdays at the surgery and it's been impossible for myself and dh to get time off for it. After a lot of huffing and puffing they decided that they would be able to tag her onto the end of a Tuesday baby clinic at the health centre. Same day as her injections, but never mind at least one of us can make the appointment. Am giving this background as I think maybe I was already a bit cross with the HV team for taking about a week to organise a convenient appointment and that's why IABU.

Dh took her off to the doc's this morning, she had her injection without a problem - no fussing, very few tears and off to the health centre for the check, again no problems, all the usual questions etc, came home and I picked up the red book to have a look and what they'd written down. On the 1 year check page the box for no longer BF has been ticked, so I asked dh whether he told them she's no longer BF, but apparently they didn't ask, just ticked the box. He thinks they may have seen him giving her a bottle before they went in for the appointment.

Is this really how it works? HVs see something happening and out it into notes as a record? She is bottle fed during the day during the week when I;m at work, but BF in the morning and before she goes to bed and throughout the day at weekends too. Where does the information go? Is it used for anything important? And will it make a difference that it's just plain wrong? And more importantly AIBU to be really cross that my efforts are not being recorded?!!

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 14/12/2010 15:45

Just correct the mistake in the book.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 14/12/2010 15:53

Think HVs and MW are so busy nowadays that it does feel like a bit of a tick box exercise going to them and they don't have time to really talk through everything, but of course they should have asked DH more thoroughly. Can you not just change the box that is ticked yourself? Then there is an accurate record for you.

I'm honestly not sure what happens to those red books. I have got one for DD but then moved abroad so have no idea what will be said when there is a 9 month gap in the information. I have friends who opted out of seeing a HV with any regularity so their books aren't permanently updated and there haven't been any repercussions to date! Think it's probably just the immunisations element that must be shown for nursery/school etc.

pommedeterre · 14/12/2010 15:55

Oh really? Wouldn't that be on NHS record? Whoops - have let dd loose on hers and parts of it are chewed/ripped Blush

Lonnie · 14/12/2010 15:57

Just correct the mistake and leave it at that you are allowed to add stuff to the red book as you go along

splashy · 14/12/2010 15:57

I think you are stressing far too much about this.

Well done for still bfing but whether the box is ticked or not won't make the slightest bit of difference. :)

SweetKate · 14/12/2010 16:02

Sorry - I think you are taking this a bit too seriously. Lots of areas don't do one year checks and my DD (19 months) has literally been seen just once since she was 6 months. Took her to get her weighed on her first birthday!!!

Also, not sure why you and DH both needed to go to the appointment. If you don't work on a Wednesday, then surely you are able to take her on your own? Sorry = bit PFB.

octopusinabox · 14/12/2010 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConnorTraceptive · 14/12/2010 16:31

YABU

NemoTheRedNosedFish · 14/12/2010 16:32

Yes mine ticked 'not breastfed at all' about 2 weeks after birth - I expressed for 2 months!

But it's worth remembering that by the time they go to school, nobody is bothered if you gave them chicken nugget puree at birth!

Flisspaps · 14/12/2010 16:33

YABU

IIRC someone on here said (a while back) that the bf tick box is just used for NHS statistics, ie how many mothers are still bf at 8/12/16/52 weeks.

Nothing terrible will happen because the tick is in the wrong box.

glovesoflove · 14/12/2010 16:53

It sounds a bit like you're just finding reasons to hate them. I also think you're being a bit U about it taking them a week (a whole week!) to sort out your appointment on a non clinic day for them - they are accomodating you, which they don't have to do. Different types of appointment are different lengths and need different equipment, rooms, staff etc, they don't just choose Wednesdays to piss you off.

I feel sorry for HVs, everyone on MN hates them, everyone on Bounty hates them (hun).

Yeah some of them are a bit shit, but that applies to every single occupational group. Loads of them are great and they have huge caseloads with bugger all resources these days, give them a break. They are supporting lots of very vulnerable families, and recording that a one year old is still breastfed is just not very high on their agenda. Again, they didn't do it to piss you off and you were probably taking up time they don't really have in that clinic if it's just for vaccinations - they don't just go home at the end, they often have to go run another clinic, do house visits, write up their notes (actually an important thing to do).

You're being rather precious, you have a healthy baby, a job and a supportive partner, therefore you're just not a priority for the HVs. Needs must when the devil drives, and the service is only going to get more scant for those of us who are lucky enough to be healthy/coping.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/12/2010 16:59

The only reason they record the information is for their stats/figures. Change the tick in the box yourself. It won't be down in her medical records. Yes, they've made a small mistake with no impact. To be honest they're probably asked so many people the question that day they probably thought they had asked but it was actually the previous person they asked or something equally daft but understandable.

I think that them finding you an alternative day within a week is good going. My HV are unable to vaccinate my DD apart from something daft like the third Tuesday of every month. They've never offered an alternative day even though I asked and DD is 9yo now - still hasn't had her vaccinations.

tiokiko · 14/12/2010 17:00

I think you're being a bit over-sensitive but do understand why you are a bit irked.

Our HV didn't even ask if I was still BF at 12m check (I was) and I think I just assumed that they assumed I wouldn't be, as I only had one other friend still BF then.

As others have said, it's not going to affect anything for your DD so don't worry about it.

I think it's pretty good that they could re-arrange to do the check on a different day, our HV clinic is only open one morning a week so it has to be Thursdays.

Be happy that the check & jabs went OK and get better soon.

mamatomany · 14/12/2010 17:05

It should be recorded accurately and you do wonder if they are slap dash with those records how accurate are the important ones, but then you could say that about anything. Which is why ID cards were such a bad idea.

Original poster
PartialToACupOfMilo · 14/12/2010 20:19

OK, then IABU - thought I might be. But just to clarify a few points made...

  • I don't not work on a Wednesday - I work full time - she goes to a CM and my decidedly un-child-friendly workplace (secondary school) were not very pleased when I raised taking some time to take dd to the appointment when it came up as a Wednesday. Also, dh works full time and takes Monday and Tuesdays off so for either of us to take her would have been a bit of a nightmare - he's a chef and time off around Christmas is not really a possibility at all, especially considering she was born in December and he took paternity leave last year!
  • Also, we weren't offered a different day in the same week, it was meant to happen a couple of weeks ago.

Thank you mamatomany - that was really what I was getting at.

I don't 'hate' HVs - I actually admire most of those I've seen over the past year, but there have been a couple of occasions when I've thought the notes recording has been a bit slapdash and inaccurate. You're proabably right, that it doesn't really matter as everything's fine with us all - and also as they don't seem to go anywhere or serve any purpose anyway Confused

OP posts:
MumNWLondon · 14/12/2010 20:25

Sorry why do you care? Just untick the box. They probably automatically tick it. Its not like they took a record or they give a medal for BFing.

onceamai · 14/12/2010 21:14

Goodness - mine were so rude I threw the DS1's red book away when he was 6 weeks old. Never saw them again either after making a formal complaint about their incompetence and discourtesy which was upheld by the local community health trust.

TattyDevine · 14/12/2010 21:24

But if the box is unticked, it generates a medal being sent in the post. This means you wont get your medal! You need to right this wrong!

I'm not having a go at you seriously OP - the point I am making really is that its not them knowing that counts, its the fact that you are doing it.

You know this, of course, I know you are not saying otherwise, but just tell yourself that and forget it. Yes, its annoying that they are so slap-dash. They are not as dedicated to their job as you are to yours (that of a mother, I mean, apart from anything else you might do)

amijee · 14/12/2010 22:27

"And more importantly AIBU to be really cross that my efforts are not being recorded?!!"

I think this statement says it all. If breastfeeding is such an effort at this stage - why are you doing it? As others have said - there's no prize dished out for it. Surely the reasons should be internal - between you and your child and not external ( why the hell should HV's care whether you are breast or formula feeding at this age?)

I went back to work full time at 20 weeks and breast fed all my kids beyond a year. I DID IT COS I ENJOYED IT. I didnt even attend a one year check up with my kids as I knew they were healthy.

YABU

shirleyhyypia · 14/12/2010 22:39

My HV got my DS date of birth wrong in his red book!
And they didnt tick anything re breastfeeding at his 6 week check, the whole thing so far is filled in very halfheartedly, as were my pregnancy notes...!

So IMO YANBU for being concerned if you dont know how unimportant it actually is, but YABU if it still bothers you now its been cleared up :)
(hope that makes sense!)

mamatomany · 14/12/2010 22:43

Actually the people who should care the most if the OP is breast feeding or not is the HV, surely it proves what a wonderful job they are doing supporting mothers to feed for longer, pats on the back all around.

leeloo1 · 14/12/2010 22:44

YANBU - and I do wonder if the stats for BFing are as poor as we're led to believe.

From recollection when DS was immunised(?) there were tick boxes for whether he was still being BF at 3 different ages... I was asked and it was ticked for the 1st age, but wasn't asked and boxes weren't ticked for the other 2 (I was and still am BFing DS - now 2.2). The nurse took the carbon copies of these forms away - for statistical purposes?/to record he'd ben immunised? - so there is a record of it beyond my/DSs red book.

It doesn't matter to me/DS as the health benefits to him remain, but I do think I should have been more on the ball about getting them to tick the boxes in case it is relevant to someone's stats somewhere.

leeloo1 · 14/12/2010 22:47

Oh and I would quite like a medal, or some recognition for BFing, I do (on the whole) enjoy/don't mind it, but when its been relevant to mention it to GP (DS around 14mths) all that was said is 'when are you going to stop?' accompanied by an euuuurgh type expression. :(

Original poster
PartialToACupOfMilo · 14/12/2010 22:48

Gosh, amijee of course the reason I've been BFing for the past year is to get the tick in the box - why else would I do it? Hmm

OP posts:
onceamai · 15/12/2010 05:22

Surely the issue is not about having the box ticked but whether the current hv service is capable of providing what it says it will provide and deciding how much of it is necessary for everyone.