to want to fill the hole in my life with a

[emptywomb]

baby?

I'm feeling quite sorry for myself atthe moment so sorry if this is a bit mopey.

I already have 2DCs, always wanted 3.

I want to start TTC but DP hesitant. We have 'gone for it' a couple of times in the past month but now back to using condoms.

Understandably DP doesn't want a repeat of our experience of having DD. Pregnancy was ok, bit of MS, SPD, put on 3 st though (which hasn't shifted). Birth went badly and DD ended up in NICU. She is fine now and there are no increased risks of this happening again. Afterwards I had horrendous PND/PTSD , was suicidal for the best part of 2 years. I have alsoo developed another disability which severly restricts my mobility. All this means that DP has become like a single parent to 3 DCs.

I can and want to work but was made redundant and haven't been able to get another job.

Financially we are ok. Our 2 bed flat is cramped but we have enough disposable income.

With DS at school and DD at nursery I'm home alone thinking about the miscarriage I had a few months ago and how much I want another baby. I can feel my self slowly sinking into another depression over this. Some days I dont get out of bed at all.

I've enquired about some voluntary jobs and some postgrad uni courses for next year ut I'd rather put that on hold and have a baby sooner than later.

Sorry for the rant.

I don't want to appear harsh when you have been through so much...but if DP is like a single parent then how on earth can you work as you say?

Also how on earth could you reasonably put your body through another pregnancy when it is not recovered?

Your duty is to your exhisting children, to yourself and your DP....it sounds like you are still depressed and may need more help with that.

If your DP is going to be doing the majority of the childcare then I think it would BU of you to disregard his wishes. It doesn't sound like he's against the idea of another child, but I imagine he'd like to see you back on your feet a bit more before going for it.

I agree with Shanahans. I think you need to put your body, existing children and DP first. Concentrate on feeling well. A baby may not be the answer.

You don't sound physically or mentally up to it tbh.

I'd say that if you've developed a disability that's retricting your mobility, this probably won't be helped if you put your body through another pregnancy. Likewise, if you've started feeling more depressed recently it is unlikely that having a baby will 'fix' you - even at the best of times they can put you through the emotional wringer.

Have you seen your GP? What do they say? As Hark says, some therapy might do you a world of good and your GP should be able to recommend/refer.

I'd say that your short term priorities should be getting yourself well (if possble - sorry, I don't know the nature of the disability you've developed), spend some time with your DP and kids and revisit the baby idea a bit further sown the line.

Hope it all works out OK for you.

Sorry but I think YABVU and selfish.

1. Your DP is caring for you as well as existing 2 DC - and he isn't keen

2. You had previous difficult post pregnancy experience

3. You have a disability that affects mobility

4. 2 bedroom flat will be cramped with 3 DC - where will the baby sleep?

5. You sound like you are depressed - I think you need to discuss with GP.

Honestly I think you'd be insane to have anoter baby, sorry.
I don't think size of home matters (I have 3dc in 2bed house) but it would not be fair to your DH at all. If he was as keen as you then maybe (I still wouldn't if I were you) but he isn't.

You need to find something else to fill that hole.