to be angry at my mother?

[Luce2006]

here it goes, few weeks ago I was chatting to my mum and talking about what we were going to buy Little Man for Xmas. I told her that my dad ( they are separated ) was going to get him a portable console but we were still deciding on which one between the leapfrog Leapster and the VTech Mobigo. She said she would look for it and I told her there was no need because dad was going to do it. Last week we spoke again and she said she couldn't find the console so I reminded her that I didn't want her to buy one.She said ok,that it was fine with her and she would look for something else. Last Saturday my dad gave me the money and I bought the Vtech Mobigo after Little Man told me he wanted Santa to bring him that one. On Sunday morning I spoke to my mum who told me she couldn't find the Mobigo so she bought him another one. I went mental!!!!She deliberately didn't listen to me and did her own thing!!!Now my DH and I have been talking about it and he too is not happy with what has happened and I now need to talk to my mum and try and convince her to take the toy back and get it exchanged she's in Italy so we woudln't be able to exchange it here in the UK so she has to do it and I know it's going to be hard to make her see that she is at fault!! Gosh, Xmas is soooo stressfull

MrsTumles thanks for that bit of info. I haven't received the pack from Amazon yet and I don't really want to return it once we get it. That's the present my 4 year old son asked for to Santa ( it's got a little keyboard and that's the feature that made him chose that console over the others)and I've got no intention of disappointing him.
I dont feel bad at all about asking her to exchange it because she knew from the start my dad was getting him one.

Lesson learned in the sense that GP thinks next time she might listen to her daughter about gifts.

It isnt talking to GPs as though they are toddlers but the parents are to a large extent responsible for the relationships between the GPs and also between their DCs and GPs. For us this means being clear in the communication.

In my experience managing the relationship is not just about the here and now but also about what happens next time. Trying to avoid another fraught situation occuring when it could so easily have been avoided.

Just say to your Mum that your Dad has already bought the console (and you've got other bits for it) and ask her if she could return hers. Say that you did tell her this but she must have got confused in the mad rush to buy presents for everyone. To be honest this might be the case anyway. I find it hard to remember who's suggested what sometimes!

If she really doesn't want to return it then I guess your son will have 2 consoles which he can either keep or you can try and sell and let him have the money to buy games.

'clear communication' is good.

But the OP doesn't seem like a case where 'clear communication' will do the trick. The GM is being deliberately obstructive and I don't think that trying to fix the problem will actually solve anything, except make the OP more upset about the fact that her mother is behaving like an idiot.

I think that in the long term, a better stragety is just to face up to the fact that her mother doesn't necessarily have her kids best interests at heart

Are they all going to be around on the day?

Sorry, I somehow missed the bit that your mother got a different console (not the one your son had asked for).

Ok, then. He's a really lucky boy. He'll have two different consoles now :)

Of course, your mother will see him much more excited for the other one, because that is what he had asked for, but she didn't listen to you when you told her so that's her own problem.

He can play both or give one to charity if he chooses. :)