to find my moaning colleague really annoying?

[Sops]

Today one of the women I work with (who I do really like and have known for years and years) was really winding me up.
We work in retail and obviously things are very busy at this time of year.
However, she comes in of a morning looking all wan and sighing about how exhausted she is and how she's got so much to do and no time at all.
Now this woman has no children (or even pets) and her dh works as a travel agent so his job is really quiet at this time of year. They both work a standard 40 hr week.
On the other hand both me and my dh are in retail. This week dh has clocked up 63 hrs work and I've done 51.

I do flexi-time so that I can pick up our dc from school every day. Most afternoons in last couple of weeks I've left work at 3pm collect the kids, done the mummy thing (quality time with dcs, friends to play, swimming etc.) as well as tried to keep us in food, clean clothes and maintain some sort of order in the house.
Then, I either go back to work once my dh gets home at around 7, or work on my laptop at home.
This friend never takes any work home and very rarely works late (that doesn't bother me at all) but it does bother me when she tells me how she exhausted she is!
All I wanted to say this morning was "Before I even got to work today I've already spent the last two hours; making breakfasts, plaiting hair, checking teeth, filling in reading diaries, making beds, making packed lunches, feeding the cat, herding two children (hopefully equipped for school) up the road, rushing back again, jumping in the car and driving to work!
What have you done?"

My point is, before I had kids I used to think how busy I was. I look back now and think "what the f**k did I know" ha ha.

Some people have more perspective on reality than others.

Maybe she's got other stuff going on. It's a busy time of year for everyone.

Maybe she is ill or depressed? I don't do as much as you but am bloody exhausted all the time.
It does sort of sound like you want a medal or something.

We all think we are run off our feet before we have kids, we don't have the comparison. Let it go over your head - we were all that person moaning once before!

I don't know - before I had kids I was always exhausted this time of year cos I had a social life and was out every night of the week. I reckon Decembers were way more exhausting pre-kids!

YABU. She doesn't know about your life and you don't know about hers.

YABU - perhaps she is pregnant?

YABU, so because she hasn't had children yet she must never complain about being tired? How you live your life is your choice, you shouldn't judge her for living a different life to you

No one knows what other people's lives are like - when my son was very little I packed him and me up for the day, literally ran with buggy to childminder, got bus to work, ran to get bus home after work and then did all the mum/household stuff and ran round trying to do it again...
Now - I have no idea how I did it!!

We do know one another very well, we've worked closely together for 15 years and we knew each other before that too. We know almost everything about one anothers lives. I love her dearly but even the best of friends sometimes get on your wick!

I'm not wanting a medal or anything- I just needed to have a bit of a moan.
One of the reasons I work is 'cos I really love my job but as I'm the only one who does full time hours and has kids (the only other mum is a part-timer) I sometimes feel a bit on the edge.

I'm not complaining about how hard I work, its completely flexible so I get to work much shorter hours in the summer to make up for the christmas pressures.

I wouldn't say anything to her as she is a very sensitive soul and would totally fall apart if ever I was to tell her to shuddup about it, that's why I thought I'd offload here in relative safety.

This sort of attitude from parents pisses me off. No one else can be tired or stressed or busy but parents.

I'm childless but I have a 50 hour working work, a complete cunt of a boss who is making my life hell, I'm newly diagnosed with health problems that will need a great deal of treatment and monitoring and I have a very ill mother.

But SORRY for speaking! I don't have children and so I can't be stressed or tired.

Parents choose to have children, I didn't choose the above shit to happen in my life.

YAB totally U

Don't know if I could do it again, by the way, now my patner and I are full time employed, older and much more financially secure! Feel knackered by what I DO do, let alone the new born we're now in the position to have a decade later!

I only have one DS and he?s only 15 months, so nowhere near as hectic as you - but I have to say, I was much busier before I had him because I did more stuff for me: Socialising, being with friends, loads more stuff round the house, decorating, deep-cleaning, gardening, more dog-walking, baking, running workshops, writing, volunteering?.and some of my ?close friends? had no clue quite how I filled my time.

These days I work, come home, play with DS, do a bit of cleaning/cooking, watch a bit of TV and go to bed. It?s lovely!

Although, I can see why the moaning would annoy you!

Well harsh on Sops! If you read her post she does say none of us knew what busy was before we had kids. I used to be tired when I came home from work and could scarcely be arsed to put some dry food down for the cat. What was I so bloody tired about! I slept through the night pretty much every night for a start off. But hey, walk a mile in someone shoes or something. My DSIL is a full time mum so I cannot fathom why she is faffing about with the laundry if we go around at the weekend. I've done a 40 hour week and the toddler stuff around the edges and I had my laundry done before we set off for hers an hour before and I find myself helping her hang hers out on the line just so we can all get out to the farm park or whatever. What has she been doing? And one year they didn't have time to get my Christmas present - their only child was at school and she didn't work! What the hell? I spent ages trawling the shops for the game her son wanted.

oohh stop moaning

yabu

you don't know what is going on in her life, just as (you rightly suspect) she doesn't have any idea of yours

could have elderly relatives, sick partner, neighbour disputes, money worries, not feeling well - we're all entitled to moan a bit now and then without the martyr next to us talking about how they've already worked a 54930 hr week and it's only tuesday

I was way more tired before I had DD.

For more than a year I got up at 5.30 to ready through stuff for work for an hour, be at work before seven, work on my feet all day, be expected to go out and socialise later.

Working and being PG had me in bed every day by 9!

I am not remotely tired at the moment.

YANBU
I 've worked with someone like this. She would come every morning and say '...and i didn't sleep well, and had to brush my teeth and get dressed and walked to the bus stop and the bus was full blah blah' we all had longer commute.
I sympathize with OP, it is very tiring tworking with moaners and attention seekers.

But i agree with the poster who said she was more tired before dcs. Alchohol drains you. and all night dancing combined with f/t job

YANBU to be irritated by her moaning and this is probably the best place to vent about her, but YABU to think that she can't be as tired as you cos she doesn't have kids.

I am less tired/fed up now than at any point in history, my baby makes up for loads of other crap that used to loom very large in my life. So there :)

maybe she's up all night shagging the travel agent?

you are forgetting that it is actually quite possible to get exhausted/tired if you don't have kids - all the booze & late nights indeed.

I can't spend too much time with moaners either though - it's a waste of oxygen all that moan moan moan moan negativity.