Well, I sort of was...

[elinorbellowed]

But do you think this might fix it?
Background, I am very stressed at work, it has been a very difficult four months and the pressure from above has been almost unbearable at times. I was in at 7.30 today and I worked through lunch and left at 5.00. This morning I said good morning to a colleague whom I have always had a good relationship with. She smiled back, fine. Two hours later she sent me a really arsey e-mail. It was all in bold, font 14, no Dear Elinor at the start, or her name at the end. It said. "I need the paperwork by the end of the day. You have had a week to do it. Thank you."

I saw red. I wrote back: "Dear .....I work part-time and I am exceptionally busy. My workload is very high. Perhaps you could think about that before you e-mail me.
Thank you
Elinor"
And I put the paperwork in her pigeonhole.

Anyway, I now regret this. She is not my superior, she is much lower than me, and I don't think she intended to come across as rudely as she did. I just couldn't see why she hadn't just mentioned it in passing when saw her. Or, been a bit more pleasant in asking for it. I now look pompous and a bit of a cow.
If I find her tomorrow morning and just explain that I was very stressed and she was the straw that broke the camel's back, do you think that will solve it? Or will she bitch to everyone about me and I will be that snobby cow forever?

Her email was definately rude. Yours was a fair response. Don't aplologize or she'll walk all over you.

Agree with Gandalfy

Nothing wrong with your email, the one she sent you sounds like she is your boss.

She sounds bloody rude to me - think I would've reacted in the same way. But maybe she's stressed out and overworked too (still no excuse though). I would probably try to smooth things over because you have to work together and it'll have a negative impact on everybody if there's an atmosphere. Don't beat yourself up about it though- your email was a lot more pleasant than hers.

agreed with Gandalfy.

there is no excuse for her shouty email with not even the courtesy of using your name

perhaps she is under pressure from above to get something done that needs the paperwork you've got to do?

she's going to think it's not her problem that you work part time, but hopefully she'll read between the lines and undersatnd the correct way to speak /communicate with colleagues when stressed

Say NOTHING.

Do NOT apologise.

She dishes it out, she gets it back.

Lesson learned (by her).

YWNBU btw.

A colleague of mine has become a dear friend but due to pressure of work we find ourselves snapping at each other sometimes - it's horrible isn't it?

I don't think you were unreasonable at all to reply as you did. Next time you see her, just smile, offer a coffee & gripe about work - you're both on the same side and hopefully she'll understand. She was as snippy as you after all.

chalk it up as a bad day and leave it behind

Thank you all so much. I have been obsesssing about it since getting home - because I'm so tired and stressed and you wise ladies have really really helped. Thank you

Don't apologise. Her email was the equivalent of shouting at you. Yes, she may also be under stress - that's a reason but it's not an excuse.

It is hard to deal with stress caused by the higher-ups, but one way to deal with it is a good bitch about it in private, not to send emails like that.

Your response was more than fair. Do nothing tomorrow other than behave as normally as you can. You might well find that an apology will be forthcoming from her.

Yabu. She was rude and you were rude back.

Yabu. She was rude and you were rude back.

I don't think your email was rude at all. Don't apologise. Agree with myleftcrutch - she has just learned she can't be that rude and get away with it! Don't give her back the ground. Don't be apologetic to her. You've done nothing wrong. You've simply asked her to consider how she approaches you more carefully in future so as to avoid being a complete arse.