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AIBU?

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Original poster

Making DS get his hair cut short?

29 replies

RawDEal · 13/12/2010 17:37

I posted earlier about changing Ds to another school. (basically, in and out of trouble at current school, now being bullied, one thing after another) so I'm changing him to another school.

He's quite excited about moving but I've told him I want to get his hair cut before he starts. Basically it is long, briliant blonde and very, very fine. It just flies everywhere and looks a complete mess.

I think it's important to get his hair cut before he starts a new school, first impressions etc but he really doesn't want to.

Do I just put my foot down here or what?

OP posts:
hairyfairylights · 13/12/2010 17:40

How old is he?

ilovemyfestivehens · 13/12/2010 17:40

Put your foot down and withdraw his electronic entertainment until he complies with your wishes.

Original poster
RawDEal · 13/12/2010 17:43

He's 10.

Yesterday a woman genuinly thought he was a girl. (he has very fair features too)

At his current school they call him a tramp.

OP posts:
Original poster
RawDEal · 13/12/2010 17:43

He's 10.

Yesterday a woman genuinly thought he was a girl. (he has very fair features too)

At his current school they call him a tramp.

OP posts:
veryberry21 · 13/12/2010 17:48

it's important to know who old he is
If he is in secondary school then NO WAY! i wouldn't dream of making my sons (i have three two 16 year old sand a 14 year old) having there hair cut. They know what they like, they now whats in fashion, and its their hair... shouldn't they have there own ideas and be able to control how their hair looks. If he's sill young and in year 3 say he doesn't really understand the implications getting nits etc can cause for you.

I despise parents though who think it's a good idea to make their 13 year old son cut ehis hair short. It's also like parents not alowing their 13 year old daughter to get her hair cut. It's there hair let them decide.

Batteryhuman · 13/12/2010 17:51

Save arguments for the big things, like alcohol and tattoos. Hair length is NOT a big thing.

It is a means of self expression in a world which wants to quash all individuality.

As long as it is clean I would let him keep the hair.

mogwhistle · 13/12/2010 17:52

Considering his age and the issues at his old school I would insist on him having it cut.

taintedsnow · 13/12/2010 17:53

He's old enough to know what he wants to look like in this respect. You would be very mean and pedantic to insist on this.

Leave him be.

GiddyPickle · 13/12/2010 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

narkypuffin · 13/12/2010 18:38

Considering why you're changing schools YANBU. The last thing you want is for him to draw negative attention to himself.

mangoandlime · 13/12/2010 18:39

Yes, I would have it cut in the circs.

Megletitsnow · 13/12/2010 18:39

I'd let him keep it as long as it's clean and not tangled.

LaraJade · 13/12/2010 18:55

Try to find out how the other boys at the new school wear their hair.
As he's starting again due to bullying then sadly he will need to fit in more.

trixie123 · 13/12/2010 19:01

Agree, rightly or wrongly, kids will find any reason to single out someone, especially a new kid. Life lessons about individuality can wait until he has settled in and has friends who won't care. I am slightly surprised by the number of responses on here who seem to think conforming to social norms is a bad thing. If he wants a job as an adult in most sectors he will have to toe the line re appearance. My school has an account with a local hairdresser and if kids, after a warning have not had their hair cut, they get sent up there. The deputy head also keeps shaving cream and razors in his office which he doles out to those that need it.

overmydeadbody · 13/12/2010 19:05

You cannot make him cut his hair, but you could suggest a trim and insist he brushes it before leaving for school.

If it is all one length and long enough for a ponytail how about suggesting you just put some layers in it, or a fringe, to help keep it more managable?

Not aure his hair length is going to change his behaviour or attitude really.

At my school we have boys with all different length hair, none of them get teased for it.

overmydeadbody · 13/12/2010 19:07

trixie not all schools single out kids who don't conform, some schools actively encourage it!

I am shocked your head takes away children's right to choose how they have their hair.

Just because they might have to conform as adults doesn't mean they should have to as kids. Childhood is our one change to be proper individuals.

overmydeadbody · 13/12/2010 19:08

He would fit right in at my school.

sleepingsowell · 13/12/2010 20:02

What does your DS think? Have you said to him that the hair might single him out for further bullying?
I always think it is a terrible shame to bend your personal preference/how you look to the 'norm' just because certain unimaginative/unintelligent people can't look outside the norm themselves. It's not a good life lesson to do stuff just for fear that these people will be nasty.

classydiva · 13/12/2010 20:03

If he is 10 it's really his hair and up to him whether or not he wants it cut isn't it?

autodidact · 13/12/2010 20:09

Agree you should check out the school. All the white boys have longish hair at my sons' school.

chimchar · 13/12/2010 20:14

can you comprimise with him? make sure its sort enough so he can see out? other than that, i would let him be...

Asteria · 13/12/2010 20:16

My DS is 8 and HATES having his hair cut - I have to attack him with scissors when it gets really bad, but generally the rule is that he can do whatever he wants with it during the school holls. Considering your DS's issues with his current school, why don't you suggest to him that he has a bit of a tidy up to begin with and then lets it go wild once he is settled.

hairyfairylights · 13/12/2010 20:19

Yabu as he is ten.

usualsuspect · 13/12/2010 20:23

Yabu if he doesn't want to have his hair cut don't make him..plenty of boring work years ahead of him to conform

BelligerentGhoul · 13/12/2010 20:26

YABU.

And what OverMyDeadBody said.

However yanbu to suggest a trim and a tidy up.

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