to not want to travel to see relatives.

[BlackBag]

DH has fairly limited amounts of work leave. He's got the week booked off before Christmas but I suspect he'll work from home a bit. He had annual leave booked last week but didn't take it because work is to busy.

His family call and say we'd love to see you so he wants to go for three days, the week after christmas, suddenly lots of leave has appeared from no where, the distance (minimum 5 hours) and the weather not a problem.

AIBU to be upset that when his family say jump, he does, and the DCs and I are expected to as well.

Maybe he's managed to reclaim the leave he didn't use last week.

It's his family. A lot of us end up traveling to see family over christmas - it's just one of those things.

I suppose it depends on how your view the relatives. I see my in laws as part of our family and it is not a chore to visit them.

When you say "his family" presumably you are talking about your DCs grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc?

Seems to me the problem isn't about visiting the in-laws it's about wanting him to use some of his leave for you him and your children.

Have you spoken to him about this? Could you gently say to him that you really would appreciate if he could use some of his leave for you and stop cancelling things at the last moment?

It does seem unfair.

My DH is like this - if we aren't actually going away somewhere then he either cancels the leave, works from home or usually just doesn't use his leave. Drives me slightly insane but that's just how he is - feels that just being at home is a waste of time.

So I try to make sure we have proper holidays planned or we go visit family. At least that way he actually has a break.

Thanks everyone, Duelingfanio and Camdancer have forced me to think it through.

I guess I'm just pissed off that this year his leave has been used for him, him, & him to celebrate his birthday, his family, his friends whilst I attend events with my family by myself due to the 'pressure' of workload.

Despite booking tickets for my birthday weekend we ended up staying at home doing DIY whilst my parents watched the kids, because it was too far/expensive to travel. Somehow that never applys to him.

So it's an ill mannered revenge thing I've got going on.