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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move DS to another school?

22 replies

RawDEal · 13/12/2010 11:37

DS is 10 and is really not making much progress at all in his current school. His behaviour is not briliant so he's made quite a name for himself as class clown, trouble causer etc and he has been in a "bad" group of "friends" for the past two years; some of which were pulled up by the police last week for throwing ice balls at passing cars (and then at a police car). He has also become victim of bullying, kids trying to take his bike off him, calling him a tramp and punching and kicking him. The teachers try and sort it out but its the way a lot of the kids are brought up and they're fighting a losing battle. Around 50% of the kids in his year are mini hooligans. (and yes, perhaps DS has been a part of that percentage at some points too).

Plus DS is on school action + and they never even bothered to tell me about this.

Anyway I called up another primary school this morning, one of the best in the city and they have places in his year group. We have an appointment to see the school on Thursday.

Plus points:
Much better catchment area (yes, I sound like a snob but it's true) so the kids tend to be better behaved.
Easier for DS to get to.
Feeder school of his choice of secondary school.
Much better grades, ofstead inspection, reputation etc etc

Negatives: I feel guilty moving DS from a school he's been at since he was four to a school where he won't know a single person. Sad but I'm only doing it for his sake. Am I doing the right thing??

OP posts:
NorwegianMoon · 13/12/2010 11:39

yes you are doing the right thing. Only you can make these decisions, he cant make them himself

Lonnie · 13/12/2010 11:40

Go see the school then go with what your gut tells you. if it says move him go ahead. YANBU

BrokenBananaTantrum · 13/12/2010 11:40

I would have no hesitation in moving him. go for it

Adair · 13/12/2010 11:42

Sounds like it would be nice for him to have a fresh start...

Shiregirl · 13/12/2010 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RawDEal · 13/12/2010 11:43

Thing is, I went to this primary school and was bullied Sad but that was years ago and I really need to forget about it, I know.

I'm just so scared he will get bullied even more and blame me for it like I blamed my mum Sad

I just want him to "start again" . I know he's a good kid deep down, he just needs the right influences and friends.

OP posts:
TrappedinSuburbia · 13/12/2010 11:51

Do it then.
You will need to support your ds through the change though with a lot of focussing on the positives as such a big change will be hard on him.

mumbar · 13/12/2010 11:54

I think you should move him if you like the new school.

You've been very honest about your DS and accepted his part in the behaviour issues. However your right that different influences may help.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 13/12/2010 11:56

I'd agree that it would be good for your DS to get a new start.

As he is not happy at his present school don't worry about unsettling him. He is not settled now.

I bet he will be over the moon to get out of his present school.

seeker · 13/12/2010 11:57

So you're going to meve him for 2 terms, then he'll move again to Secondary school? Doesn't sound a brilliant plan to me.

rememberingnothing · 13/12/2010 12:02

What does he think? Have you discussed the possibility of moving schools with him?

I hated my mum for moving me in primary school at the time but after about 2 weeks I was fine.

The one thing I never understood was why I wasn't consulted. I didn't necessarily want the deciding vote but I didn't want to find out when it was a done deal.

LillianGish · 13/12/2010 12:03

Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Great chance for him to have a new start with a clean slate so he gets off on the right foot when he moves to secondary school.

RawDEal · 13/12/2010 12:04

He's only in year 5 seeker, he'll have another full year there.

OP posts:
PinkElephantsOnParade · 13/12/2010 12:05

seeker - the kid is being bullied and is unhappy.

In that situation being left for one more minute is too long.

You seem to be assuming that the OPs DS is in yr 6 because he is 10. He might have a Sep/Oct/Nov birthday and be in y5.

PinkElephantsOnParade · 13/12/2010 12:07

I thought that was probably the case, Rawdeal.

A year and two terms is definitely too long to be left as unhappy as this.

ilovemyfestivehens · 13/12/2010 12:08

Act on your instincts and if you think a move would be good, then go for it.

I moved my ds1 after only 4 weeks of being in his new secondary school. He's now happy and doing very well and we're just in the process of moving ds2 who is in year 1.

Moving schools should never be taken lightly, but sometimes there is no other option. Be optimistic and look ahead.

MollieO · 13/12/2010 12:10

I would go for it. It will be good for him to have a fresh start and have the added advantage of making friends who will go on to the same secondary school. When I started secondary school I knew three people and one of those left in the first year. Contrast that with about 30 all coming together from one school already in established friendship groups. Difference was because of the 12+ - very few passed at my school (poor catchment area) compared to the other school (wealthy area).

sue52 · 13/12/2010 12:13

Sounds like he needs a fresh start. He'll be at the school for nearly 2 years, a lot of positive change can happen in that time.

cumfy · 13/12/2010 13:03

50% of the kids in his year are mini hooligans

No need to find other reasons. Leave.

MumNWLondon · 13/12/2010 13:52

does he want to move?

JamieLeeCurtis · 13/12/2010 13:57

I'd move him

Acanthus · 13/12/2010 14:00

Go and see the school. But take responsibility for your DS's behaviour too - many of his current problems stem from his own behaviour, by the sounds of it. A fresh start may well be the best idea but only if old mistakes are not repeated.

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