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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be slightly miffed my parents rejected our invitation to Christmas lunch?

10 replies

NotAnotherNewNappy · 12/12/2010 19:29

DSis got married and had a family before me and therefore began hosting Christmas for both my parents and her PIL. I used to go along to but when I got married and had my DD this became impractical (they live an hour?s drive away and we don?t have a car). Also, I hate to say it, but I never really enjoyed going because my sister is very bossy and does a good job of making you feel unwelcome even though she?s the one who has invited you over.

This year my parents were planning to go to hers as usual. However, DMum and Dsis had a huge falling out and have vowed never to speak again (could be a whole other thread). I am trying to stay out of it, as far as I can. But, as my parents only live ten minutes away from me and I was worried they?d have a thoroughly miserable Christmas on their own, I sweet talked DH into agreeing to invite them to ours for lunch. They both said no, out of hand, without even thinking about it Xmas Sad

AIBU to be miffed that they didn?t stop to consider that I might be disappointed not to get the chance to host Christmas lunch for once? So much pussyfooting goes on to please my sister, I feel like they forget I have feelings too.

OP posts:
IAmReallyFabNow · 12/12/2010 19:30

YANBU but don't let it spoil your day.

bensonbutnohedges · 12/12/2010 19:56

YANBU. What are they planning to do then?

monkeyflippers · 12/12/2010 19:59

Talk to them about it. There might be a reason you haven't thought of.

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2010 19:59

oh that's sad :(

can you ring your mum and say how disappointed you feel? not in a guilt-trip kind of way because maybe they just genuinely want to have a breather and have christmas by themselbes. but just tell her how hurt you felt

flaine · 12/12/2010 20:01

Have you asked why they don't want to join you for Christmas lunch??

YANBU to being annoyed by their refusal.

Whippoorwhill · 12/12/2010 20:04

Could it be that they didn't enjoy Xmas at your sister's either but felt they couldn't say no and this year are really looking forward to it just being the two the them and doing what they want?

NotAnotherNewNappy · 12/12/2010 20:06

Mum says she isn't 'doing' Christmas because she feels so sick about the fall out with DSis and dad says he wants to watch TV and get drunk Xmas Shock

They don't get on particularly well and I know that if they stay at home my mum will dwell on the argument and my dad won't be given the chance to enjoy the day.

Also, I know it's not really the reason, but I can't help thinking we're not such as an attractive offer as our home is much smaller and we'll be serving up a frozen turkey as opposed to my sister's bird in a bird in a bird in a bird etc Xmas Blush

OP posts:
Balsam · 12/12/2010 20:08

Leave them be for now, then call them on Xmas morning and make your offer again. They might feel differently on the day.

Don't take it personally, sounds like they just want to sulk.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 12/12/2010 20:36

Whippoorwhill No, I don't think my dad did enjoy going to my sister's - it just became an arrangement they couldn't get out of (because nobody says no to DSis!)

Balsam I think you are right, my mum wants to stay at home and sulk so that she can say my DSis has ruined her Christmas on top of everything else. I like your idea of giving them a call on the morning itself. I'm sure there will be enough food Xmas Grin

OP posts:
monkeyflippers · 13/12/2010 12:53

Yeah does sound like your mum is having a strop and your dad is relieved to be left in peace!

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