To be really p'd off at these comments from DH's aunt?

[Jacksterbear]

"You're making a rod for your own back", "So, she will scream, so what?" and "You are soft in the head" (on learning we do not leave DD, 11 weeks, to cry in her cot until she falls asleep).

"You need to show that child who's boss" (on observing DS, 3.11, exhibiting normal 3yo behaviour). Ok she may have a point on this latter one but the above comments have really really pissed me off.

ignore her, she is obviously queen of parenting, easy to be full of advise when you are over those stages, some people forget all one wants is a bit of empathy.

No YANBU, I have an 11 wo too, and wouldn't dream of letting him cry herself to sleep - it's just mean and unnecessary.

How about replying: "Thanks for the advice." in a sarcastic manner.

She sounds like the type who would criticise no matter what you do so just ignore her.

Yanbu and have my sympathies.

I remember FIL's wife (no children) taking us for coffee in a posh cafe and then moaning when the children (at the time 4 and 1) were being a bit wingey because they were tired saying "you are just using being tired as an excuse for bad behaviour"

YANBU at all - but smile and ignore her. There is no point in arguing with people who have really strong views about childcare.

I had a lot of these comments too. It was hard - especially when DS was very small and I was desperate to do everything 'right' for him. He is now 2, still carried in a sling whenever he wants to be and still sharing our bed. Most of the people who used to criticise me have now decided that I am an incorrigible loon and given up telling me what to do - and a few have been big enough to admit that DS seems very happy and well-adjusted.

The best advice I've ever had about childcare was from my own lovely aunt: "Listen to everyone and then do what you think best" After all, it is you and your DD that will be living with these decisions, not your DH's aunt.

Good luck to you!!

Yanbu

a simple stfu should do.

I used to get even more annoyed at those who "dressed up" their criticisms by saying it via the child. For example, "Your Mummy needs to put long socks on you" (said by MIL on a warm day when DD of around 3-4 months was in ankle socks) - that used to make me seethe! Still does after so many years.
So underhand ... grrrr!

I tend to say 'thank you for your advice, I'll give it some serious thought'. Then completely disregard. Everyone's happy

mssoul - you are so right!

YANBU

YANBU. I lurve mssoul's advice!

Definatly the kind of comments better off thought than said .

mssoul is spot on. Just do what you feel comfortable with, ask when your unsure, gain lots of perspectives and .........then still do as your please.

Yay, thanks all. In my annoyance I forgot the most annoying part, which was that she inferred that DS's behaviour (he was playing up, but only in manner of all 3yos IMO) was a result of us spoiling him from the start and therefore proved her point about Leaving Babies to Cry Like we Did in the Old Days.