Do I need to grow some balls?

[Bobbiesmum]

My ds is admitted to hospital literally every 2 weeks with chest problems. We have exhausted goodwill from friends so employed a nanny who we can ill afford so that we have no worries about looking after dd when we are in hospital.
Nanny has in her contract to do ironing and yesterday I said she could do said ironing in her own home this afternoon ( but obviously I was still paying her as normal).
Today we were readmitted to hospital and I asked her if she could leave the ironing and care for dd instead. She flat out said no as she had to go food shopping this afternoon. She then watched me try unsuccessfully try to get another sitter and still didn't offer to stay.
Dh finally said that as she was being paid we needed her to stay and she has but she is clearly not happy.
I think we are very good employers, always let her go early, paid time off no questions asked for family emergencies etc.
ThIs not an isolated incident so Aibu to have expected her to cancel her shopping plans and look after dd?

YANBU at all - you were paying her to do a job and she refused? And she had admitted byt saying she was going food shopping that she was going to do personal stuff on your time anyway!

Shocking - I know it's hard but I'd find a new nanny, if it's not an isolated incident you could be storing up trouble here...

I think if she was employed specifically to allow you to go to hospital at short notice then she needs to drop everything to help. If you are paying for her time then you are calling the shots IMO. Hope your DS is okay

Not if shes contracted to work those hours.

Yes its a PITA changing plans at the last minute, maybe she had planned on shopping and doing the ironing in the evening, BUT, it was time she could and should have been working for you so not sure she can say no tbh.

Hope DS is OK.

The thing is, she wasn't going to be doing the job you were paying her for - she was going shopping!

I would look for a new nanny tbh. It may be that you have been too lenient in terms of letting her go early etc and she has got the impression that you are pushovers.
Perhaps this will reset her expectations, now that your DH has put his foot down. But if it doesn't, then I would look to replace.

Yes I hope your DS is ok.

Get rid of it asap and get an agency with a good reputation - if there is such thing to find replacement.
You employ her and she must do what you expect her to do within working hours.

Sorry fir any errors, typing this on my phone in hospital (ds has pneumonia for 2nd time in a month).
Thanks for all the quick replies, the problem
Is exactly that I am a pushover and have tried to be a good employer having never done this before. I have a very professional job but am often told at work I am too nice/soft.
She has years if experiences and excellent refs so I think the problem has stemmed from me not being firm and setting out my expectations. She is older than me and good with the kids so that makes it harder for me to speak up.
Time to grow some balls I think!

Oh and she was going to do ironing in her own time despite being paid for today. I don't have a problem with this at all normally but she made me feel I was being very out of order asking her to change her plans.
Good to know I am not being too unreasonable!

I would lay out what you expect from her and what she can expect from you in return. I would then think VERY carefully about asking for changes- e.g. like her taking the ironing home to do it there - as it does sound like it's just generating confusion between you. Not suggesting you should be inflexible, but you should make it clear what you do and do not expect as a "base line" first.