10yr olds calling each other fat

[misdee]

i have one very upset dd1 here.

she has been called Fat yet gasin by someone horrible in her class.

she isnt fat. her weight and height are fine.

she is little though, smallest in her class.

i just want to go knock on this girls house and have it out with her mum about her dd, but obviously i wont.

dd1 wont let me talk to the school.

tigress loaming inside.

am roaring.

Tbh I would be upset if someone had upset one of my dds by calling them fat, and I dont have the excuse of being about to give birth!
Looking at your pictures she def doesnt look the slightest bit overweight, can you help her come up with some witty comebacks, maybe ask the teacher to have a general chat about body size/shape to the whole class? how sad that such a young girl is upset over her weight

Misdee, have a word with the teacher, you don't even have to name the girl in question. Maybe they will incorporate healthy body image into a lesson or something so that the message gets through to all the kids and that its rude to call someone fat even if they are overweight.

YANBU btw.

And you have gorgeous children.

The word fat seems to be being used as a trivial insult atm. I have caught both my DSs calling each other "fat" in the midst of bickering - no doubt it happens at school . It's completely nonsensical because both are thinner than average, but it does wind me up, much in the same way as "Gay" being used as an insult does.

I have told them that there are very many worse things to be in life than fat (unkind, for instance) and that I don't want to hear it again.

Misdee, my dd had this. I posted about it a few months ago.
Thing is she is slender, a gymnast and athlete and is lovely.

The girl called her fat because she wants to hurt and that word is an issue for a lot of people.

Whilst a few posters assumed that I was in denial, or suggested that dd should get over it, several gave me great advice which I followed and this issue stopped.

I talked with dd about how gorgeous her body is, strong and healthy , and that she really is not fat - probably too slim at times.

Then we talked about the girl who said it. We talked about what she was trying to do ie make dd feel shitty. Then we talked about how to negate that... To respond telling her that she isn't fat and that she could say it as much as she liked by dd was not going to believe her.

Dd and I also talked about what it must be like being in her head if all she wants to do is be mean. Dd ended up feeling sorry for her which does not make her scary anymore.

Also one of CDs friends stuck up for her which helped enormously.

I remember that, pag. Glad it was resolved with some wise words

thank you.

we have reiterated time and again that dd isnt fat, is very active and healthy. yes she is a little stockier than some girls but is no way overweight. this same girl told dd that she couldnt possibly due gymnastics as dd is 'fat', so you can see its been going on for a little while. she does have my families shorty genes, unlike dd2 who is very tall for her age (dd1 is 10, dd2 is 8. dd2 is marginallytaller than dd1)

we have talked about how some children likes to make others feel bad because they feel bad about themselves.

i am sick of the playground politics, bullying etc.

just glad its her last year or primary and she can get away from some of these girls and their mind-games.

ds has had this - he isn't fat but is a very broad build and very tall. Not nice at all

So true Jamie.The popularity of revolting random insults like fat, gay, retard makes me bizarrely unconcerned that dd occasionally throws 'twat' out when crossed.

yes, twat may have been uttered around these parts too. Although Germaine Greer would have something to say about that .....

You could explain to her that she isn't fat, she's fine. Tell her that the girl is probably jealous of her, and maybe sad about something else, or why would she say untrue things. Point out that if the only insult the girl can come up with is untrue, then there obviously isn't much wrong with your daughter! Finally explain to her that whether she was fat or not, shallow people like that girl are best avoided, and if no-one wants to be the rude girls friend, then she might change her ways.

oh Misdee!

Your poor poor dd How horrible and nasty for her.

Maybe a quiet word with the other parent wouldn't be such a terrible idea - she'd probably be mortified.

In the meantime, have yourself lots of cuddles with your GORGEOUS lovely girl and a nice raspberry leaf tea

x