to be upset that he's cheated

[flossym]

I found out on Sunday that John had an affair that lasted for 4 months its over but he didnt tell me about it. he flew back to the states where hs works but has left me a message that I should pull myself together as our daughter needs me. a couple of months ago I suggusted that we broke up as things haven't been right for ages. He said he would stop paying the mortgage. we worked things out that time and I even thought I was being unfiar he works hard ect ect now i I found out that he has been seeing a woman over there. He claims the affair is over and that i'm the love of his life hahahahaha so am I being unreasonable to be hurt and upset i think noe.

Divorce him and rinse his wallet. He legally cannot stop paying the mortgage. He's got himself RIGHT up shit creek, and he knows it, which is why he's trying to make you feel like shit - so you don't bother finding out how to fuck him over (which you really should do)

What an inutterable twat.

whos john?

Clearly YANBU.

But YABU to post this here. Take it to Chat.

Obviously you are not being unreasonable to be upset.

If he feels that working hard gives him the right to cheat, suggest he changes career! Seriously, if it's all about him not paying the mortgage downsize your life and adjust your priorities.

Do you believe that the affair is over?

is this a true story??????

bit of a no brainer really.

It is understandable that you are devastated.

I found out about my EX's affair at midnight when she called at our house.

By mid-morning next day he was rolling his eyes and saying 'Are you still on about that?'

Wash your hands of him, but not the money. You need that for your children.

Does this marriage make you feel happy and secure,only you can make up your mind about your situation to live with it or not,

you know he is in the wrong ,try not to be a doormat,if you let him treat you like sh-- he will ,
if you decide to leave it wont be easy at first but it will get better,

there is life after scum-bags if he was a real man he wouldn't treat you this way .

i truly hope you sort things out for yourself ,make sure you have friends or family around for support.

Do you think there's a possibility you are being unreasonable?

He's betrayed you and should be doing anything and everything you want and need in order to try to work this out - if you want to.

What do you want to do?

I think the relationships board would be a better place to post this.

You should report your own post and ask MNHQ to move the thread to relationships, AIBU is no place for this :(

You find out he's been having an affair in the US where he is working and where he is on his way back to and he's telling you that you have to pull yourself together because your daughter needs you.... words fail me.

Almost....

stupid fucking bastard git arsehole wanker are all swimming around in my head - not sure which to use first!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have anyone in RL who could come over?

He can't decide what the financial arrangement will be if you separate. He cannot just stop paying the mortgage, well he can - but he will have to deal with the fallout from the bank and risk losing the house - I assume he wont want to do that.

Whatever, you cannot allow his 'threats' to stop you doing what you need to do. If you leave him you will get help and you and DD will be OK.

I would leave, myself. I have done the 'forgiving and working on it' in the past, it rarely works and even rarer still is what you have left worth having and that is when the DH is not being a complete tool and threatening not to pay the mortgage etc