to want to scream re Christmas

[narnacake]

I'm a single mum, I have only had one Christmas away from home and that was to spend it with exBFs family

I'm cooking dinner this year for my mum and siblings, fine with me

Mum has announced that she's coming round at 2 as she and my siblings have been invited to spend the morning/early afternoon with some other family that live very close to me

I've not been invited

So I now have to spend all morning on my own in the house with DS

ON MY OWN AT CHRISTMAS

She was so suprised when I made a fuss about this. Usually, I've always come back to her house for Christmas no matter where I've lived and got up early, opened presents and had a merry old day, okay it is usually rubbish as after being dissapointed that although she has insisted on getting a Christmas list from me and me asking for small and inexpensive things, I've had to have "me" versions of what ever my sister has asked for "to make it fair" and then she gets stressed about making dinner and none of us helping (if we offer, we do everything wrong and she then gets stressed having to "redo" everything) - and then we get bored/argue/moan/rant/end up in separate rooms

But still, we do it every year and its tradition now - I don't want to be on my own for Christmas, it's bad enough being in the house all night Christmas eve and waking up on my own on Christmas day and no-one to wake up and annoy/open presents with at 7am.

Apparently, I'm unreasonable because I'm preventing her from enjoying her day with her family

Why were you not invited with the rest of your family? Do you think they assume you've been invited too?

who is this other family she's seeing? how old is your ds? can you make it a special day for you two? i'd be tempted to tell your mum to bugger off then cos your lunch will be at 1pm , or whatever.

No, I'm always an outcast - or at least I feel like it... even more so now...

It was phrased "me and your brother are going round..." no invite and when I said that I don't really want to spend Christmas on my own it was a "fine, I'll not go" rather than a "welll you can come too"

My DS is nearly 4 and my cousin had a son last year that my mum dotes on. I just feel that she'd rather spend time with them at Christmas than with us.

If I had some family that lived away, or some friends that would have me for the day, I would love to bugger off and leave them to it, but I've been so busy recently, there's no-one that I'm close to anymore and with having so little money for gifts this year, it's starting to sound like it may be yet another worst Christmas ever

Oh, and no, a special day is the last thing that we need - he's so naughty these days I find it so hard to spend time alone with him. I think that I'm just having a depressing time, and don't need to be on my own at Christmas, especially not with a 4 year old who wants to do the complete opposite of everything that I say - that's what weekends are for - not Christmas day

You're not going to be on your own. Your family will be there at 2.

It's a bit shit that you haven't been invited to see your other family though.
Could your mum stop by and pick up your DS on the way round to the others? That way you can have the morning to yourself to prepare xmas lunch in peace and maybe fit in a nice soak in the bath?

If you're really that bothered about spending a few hours on your own, maybe you could go to an old peoples home with your son to cheer up some people that are REALLY on their own.

Have you any idea why you have been left out of the invitation to the other place?

There's no way my Mum would go anywhere I wasn't welcome - I'm sorry your Mum doesn't feel the same way. There are downsides to a Mum that feels that way too though - it's not all sunshine & roses!

I'm also sorry you are having such a hard time dealing with DS at the moment as well. Have you tried posting on here for some advice on how to improve things??

Your not alone, you have your son and you can spend the entire day making it really special for him, a new start that might improve his behaviour. He will probably enjoy it more without the arguments, and the only person he really wants is you.

What can you have planned as suprises for him, what will he be thrilled with? Treasure hunt for a present? Special film while you both snuggle on the sofa? Mad dancing in the lounge?

I agree with healthy elf you are not alone you have your little boy and you are the most important person in his life. Make it special for him go abit crazy with him wear him out then on the evening you can snuggle on the sofa and you can look down at his little happy face knowing you have done that for him. Cue the proud mummy face.

You are not the only one with 'strange' invitation at Christmas going on - my Aunt lives about a 4/5 hour train journey from my Mum (her sister). My A has 4 children all grown up - the youngest usually has her at Christmas but this year they have fallen out, so when talking to her DS2 she mentioned that she would be spending Christmas alone he said ohh why don't you go and see ...(my mum) she'll have you for Christmas!

He has no idea what my Mum had planned for Christmas whether she would be at her house or mine or my brothers - as it turns out she will be staying at home and having 10 plus her and my dad for most of Christmas Day - I said that was nice of him to invite her on my mums behalf!!! Why didn't him or his other siblings decide to do Christmas for her this year!