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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL behaviour

32 replies

mssoul · 09/12/2010 19:57

My MIL called me this evening when I was making tea - who does that to a working mother? So I was already grrr. She then demanded that she had my 2yo dd overnight tomorrow (Friday) as she hasn't seen her for ages. I said no, but actually Saturday would be convenient as older dd having sleepover Sat and bday party on Sun. She said it wasn't convenient as she had plans (to go car booty shopping) on Sunday very early.

I stood my ground despite her trying to guilt me into it as I have been working my arse off all week and have barely seen the wee one and will be tied up with party shenanigans (DD1 will be 13) for Sat eve and lots of Sun (cinema then out for tea). She hung up on me Shock.

I often give into her and find her difficult to manage and she drives my dp completely fucking mad too. He, by the way lost his job a few weeks ago and she knows how hard I am working to make ends meet so should know how much weekends mean - she doesn't offer at times that would actually help. Him too - he has taken a really shitty fast food delivery job and is pretty down Sad

AIBU to not bother phoning her to clear the air (I hate an atmosphere) and just to let her come crawling back to me...?

OP posts:
thumbplumpuddingwitch · 09/12/2010 22:56

Not at all immature.
Taking control of a situation that is going to continue to be out of control if the OP decides to "clear the air", i.e. give in to the unreasonable demands.
Unless you think she should just be a doormat?

brass · 09/12/2010 23:06

thumb you haven't understood - I'm saying the MIL is immature.

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 09/12/2010 23:09

Ah sorry - you appeared to be addressing my comments so I assumed you were suggesting my comment indicated immaturity.

Booandpops · 09/12/2010 23:13

I think it's perfectly reasonable for op to be cross if a family member rings at tea time. Hungry grumpy kids and phone calls don't mix. Most close family would know the routine. My in laws ring at bedtime and that drives me nuts. Why is that precious!?

brass · 09/12/2010 23:21

caller display is free or very cheap on most phones! I just let it go to answerphone if I'm in the middle of something. They'll call back if it's that important.

MrsBonkers · 10/12/2010 01:59

Don't think you can be annoyed at when she called. However don't answer the phone if you are busy in future. Maybe invest in an answerphone so you can screen calls (MIL can buy you one for Xmas!)

Why is it so important she has your DD tomorrow? Does she have friends coming over she wants to 'show her off' to? Or is she on her own or lonely

She'll call back when she's calmed down or wants something.

Reality Really? You think its okay to call and demand to have someones child over night? Especially with one days notice? Why do you think the OP is being precious?

Original poster
mssoul · 10/12/2010 08:34

Wow thank you all lots of replies. My dd1 answered the phone otherwise I would have screened and had an altogether different call I could have given my whole attantion to.! I'm not annoyed at all now, nor have I spoken to her. When I told dp about it, he said he would phone her, so I am off the hook, so to speak.

Mrs Bonkers, I think she had just decided it would fit round her plans - she has a very busy social life. She is not lonely, just pushy Grin

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