A Phallic Length?

[ChristmasTrulyReigns]

AIBU to think that just what this country needs right now is another unit of measurement.

I've been thinking that,along the same lines as a Country Mile and a Plumber's Hour, we could institute a Phallic Length to establish distances such as:

the distance between my rear bumper and the TwuntBehind's front bumper at 70+ mph on the motorway.

the distance between where men are looking for an invisible item and where it actually farking is.

the distance that I would like DH to be sleeping away from me so I can enjoy my own space.

Has anyone got any other uses for this essential unit of measurement?

Phallic length............. phallic......isn't that "penis shaped" ?

Wouldn't men grossly overestimate the length??

ROFL littlenuttree

Also do we measure from erect or flaccid?

the tape measure I mean

I like the idea of new measurements. On the radio the other day, a comedian was talking about the Toyota Prius. He said that the dash lit up in leaf shapes, so you could measure how smug you were supposed to be in milli-Bonos. I liked that.

A phallic length could be used to measure the space between my trolley at the checkout and the halitosis ridden lech behind me.

Isn't that just the same as a smidgen

the trouble is that would never be accurate... Everyone knows that yhey measure from their bum hole to give an extra couple of inches - although in the case of bumpers and personal space every little helps!

I thought much the same as littlenuttree, a phallic length would be twice as far in a blokes opinion .....think of the confusion

I like it! We already differentiate between inches and man-inches in our house

POP - what's the conversion from inches to man inches?

1:1.8

i think i prefer 'erection'. i was an erection away from slapping her. there was no more than an erection between us etc.

the conversion from inches to man inches is relatively easy - just half it!

the real inch that is!

and this is why i didn't get maths GCSE - 5 times....

yes, 1:1.8 is about right. Just asked DP. He reckons 1:1.5 - 1:2 depending on the insecurity of the man. That's why I love him, he's bloody honest about this sort of stuff.

Nice one POP, I'll bet his man inches are accuarte!

I've always like the "Firkin" unit of measurement. It can be very handy Too firkin close, too firkin big, too firkin small etc

Dudley Moore is a phallic thimble. He's 5' 0". Is that a phallic length??