Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or am I just being precious?

43 replies

headfairy · 09/12/2010 12:48

FIL has invited us to his house in March, he lives in Italy near the French border, close to ski resorts, all very lovely. However his third bedroom is downstairs in the basement. There are no windows in the room, and it's next door to the garage so it smells permanently of petrol. I really feel uncomfortable putting the dcs in this room (especially as ds is in a phase of getting out of bed at night and wandering around the house and there are two doors and a very steep flight of stairs to get to the main house) and neither do I want to sleep in a room that stinks of a petrol station forecourt.

FIL thinks I'm being really precious saying we can all sleep in one bedroom (dd in a travel cot, ds probably in bed with us as he ends up there most nights anyway). Would you sleep in a room that smelled of petrol? Am I being precious or am I right that it's not a nice place to sleep for a week?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 09/12/2010 12:50

A bit precious...I'd put up with it.

You could always stay nearby in a guest house if you really can't bear it.

StewieGriffinsMom · 09/12/2010 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 09/12/2010 12:50

I don't think YABU. Could you and your DH sleep in the shell station? Is it petrol or exhaust fumes it smells of? It is possible to leave the garage door open to air it out?

potplant · 09/12/2010 12:51

Really strong smells make me feel sick and give me a headache so I would object on that grounds.

Wouldnt bother me all sharing though.

bensonbutnohedges · 09/12/2010 12:51

No. I read somewhere that there might be a link between MS and petrol fumes. Years ago there was thought to be a link between petrol fumes and slow mental development. I would not want to risk it with children.

BrokenBananaTantrum · 09/12/2010 12:52

so the choice is you either all sleep in one bed room which is not the petrol smelly one or your DC's sleep in the petrol smelly one and you have a nice one upstairs?

If this is the case its a no brainer for me - all in one room thats not petrol smelly.

ThatllDoPig · 09/12/2010 12:52

Depends.

Carbon monoxide fumes are deadly at a certain quantity, and can cause headaches etc at lower amounts. Does he do work in cars in the gargage, or just store cars in there?
Don't think I would be comfortable about it.
Is the all sleeping in one room idea for a different bedroom (ie, not next to gargage?) II think I would go for that idea, just for peace of mind and having wanderers close.

nickeldonkeyonadustyroad · 09/12/2010 12:53

YANBU.
i coudln't sleep in a room smelling of petrol, it would make me very nauseated.
so it would be unfair to expect children to stay there.

Original poster
headfairy · 09/12/2010 12:55

I think it's exhaust fumes because the garage where my FIL keeps his cars (he's got a Ferrari and a Merc in there) and he occasionally revs the engines a bit because they don't get driven that often.

We could open the garage door but at that time of year I imagine it's pretty cold as there's usually snow on the ground until March (he's 20 mins from Courmayeur)

Money is pretty tight, the only way we can afford to go and see him is if we stay at his house, so a guesthouse wouldn't really be an option.

OP posts:
BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/12/2010 12:55

If FIL thinks it fine then he should sleep in there so you and the children could be housed closer together, much more practical and better hosting mannors surely?

LornMowa · 09/12/2010 12:56

You don't say how old the children out but I don't think YABU.

Are you sure that going in March is a very sensible time of year? Never, been skiing myself so I'm not sure how much enjoyment young children would get from it. I have experience of having to stay in a holiday home in Italy during February and it rained cats and dogs and was miserable for me and the kids who are confined to the house. May/June a better time I would have thought.

Original poster
headfairy · 09/12/2010 12:56

Yeah, the sleeping in one bedroom would be in a different room. He's got two bedrooms upstairs in the main bit of the house and this third one downstairs. He built the house himself, why on earth he put one down there with no window and literally opening off the garage I'll never know. Architecture isn't his strong point!

OP posts:
BrokenBananaTantrum · 09/12/2010 12:56

Why don't you want to share a room with the DC's?

scurryfunge · 09/12/2010 12:58

Ah, ok, I thought the basement was your only choice. I'd have everyone together in the other room.

lowercase · 09/12/2010 12:59

no windows!

in the basement!

petrol fumes!

be cruel to leave a dog there imo.

Original poster
headfairy · 09/12/2010 13:00

LornMower - ds is 3 and has already skiied this year. He's desperate to go again, all the children in that part of Italy learn at this age. DD is only 11 months old, will be 15 months by the time we go, but she can stay with my MIL if we do go skiing. We'll only go for a couple of hours at a time, not the whole day and dd loves my MIL so I'm happy leaving her for a couple of hours.

Babydusb, the only thing about putting the children upstairs and us downstairs is again ds's night time wanderings (plus I'm not sure I want to sleep in a room that smells of exhaust fumes).

OP posts:
ThatllDoPig · 09/12/2010 13:00

Yes, I'd defo have kids in with you then. If dh doesn't like it tell him he can sleep in the garage room! Or google carbon monoxide and find out potential damage, so that you can appeal to his logical side.
LornMowa Maybe the point of the holiday is to spend time with rellies that live abroad rather than the skiing, or weather? I'd say whether the kids have a good time or not depends on that relationship and effort that the grandparents make rather than the time of year. May/June lots more expensive to travel.

Original poster
headfairy · 09/12/2010 13:03

My FIL skis a lot too - as you can imagine living in that part of the world - so we're not just using it as a cheap skiing holiday. My MIL will come up the mountain with us and take dd to a cafe, or take her for a walk/sledging and dh and I and ds and FIL will go skiing for a couple of hours, then all have lunch together and go back down the mountain again. Hopefully....

OP posts:
rocketleaf · 09/12/2010 13:07

Yes I agree with babydubs, if FIL thinks you are being precious not wanting to sleep in there, it obviously wouldn't bother him, so he should let you have his bed for the week. See how he likes it. Failing that all of you upstairs, if you don't mind all bunking in together I can't see why he objects. What does your DH think?

ThatllDoPig · 09/12/2010 13:07

Sounds fab. Envy
enjoy!

iMum · 09/12/2010 13:09

Cant Fil sleep down there?

slhilly · 09/12/2010 13:24

Did no-one else besides me think it was a bit weird that the FIL thought to comment on proposed sleeping arrangements? He's got some rooms on offer -- why does he care how the parents and DCs are arranged?

VinegarTinselTits · 09/12/2010 13:30

you are not being precious about sleeping in the basement, but you are being precious about all sleeping in the same room, its what you would do if you stayed in a hotel, so i cant see your problem, sleep in the same room and enjoy the free accomodation!

BigWelt · 09/12/2010 13:36

His name's not Fritzl is it?

Blu · 09/12/2010 13:38

Just all sleep in one room - I would rather do that than have a baby and a 3 yo two flights of stairs and 2 doors away.
Why do you all need to discuss it this far in advance? just do it once you get there.
And, leave your DH in charge of discussions since it's his parents - does your DH agree with you about sleeping in one room?