WTF didn't she just complain to me?

[garrowismylaw]

Am fuming! School just phoned to confirm app for tmorrow re DS1 (has been arranged for weeks). I said we would be there. He then went on to say theat they had received a complaint from a parent. She claimeed she had to ask DS to leave her house immediately for swearing.
Why did she have to complain to the school? This occured after school at her house, which is about 6 houses up the street from our house. Why didn't she just knock on door and complain to me?
Am so angry....and to think I actually picked her DS up from school yesterday because she was stuck in the snow! Won't be doing that again...or AIBU?

Nothing amazes me any more,
Last summer hols, my then 11 yr old son, was walking, with his best mate and three other children, on the path, to another friends house,
when, this one 'mate' who was on his bike, weaving in and out of the cars parked at the side of the road, on and off the path,
threw a stone at the passing local fire engine (they were coming home after a shout)

2 ran off, the 'mate' cycled off and left my son and his best mate to get the blame,
the driver however, did see who threw the stone, had a word with my son and mate about how dangerous it was to do things like that,
then went round and told my DH what happened and what he had said to DS.
DH spoke to son, we thought it was resolved.

The chief fire officer, however reported it to school and all 5 were hauled up in front of the HT, and letters sent home to parents from school, which went on to say my DS was involved in the incident.

So although he was there at the scene, and had nothing to do with throwing the stone, he still got in to trouble.

School stance was that, as it was reported to school it had to be and was delt with by school!
And the letter went in my DS file, which will/went to Secondary school.

YANBU - no reason to get the school involved at all. Can only think it must have cropped up in another context. Call her and say what Alison suggests. Give her the benefit of the doubt until you know exactly how this came about.

I find it odd that the school are getting involved. When my eldest DD was getting bullied a few years ago, her school wouldn't do anything about acts of bullying that took place outside of school grounds. I would tell school that you're not prepared to discuss that particular incident with them.

With regards to the woman approaching the school, I am thinking that maybe in the past she has approached a parent about their child's behaviour and hasn't had a very good reaction? When my eldest daughter was being bullied, I (very politely) approached the mum of the ringleader to see if we could try and sort things between the girls, and I got such a mouthful and shouting down, I don't know if I'd approach a parent again about their child. Luckily I haven't had to since then, but I think if there were other avenues to try and resolve the issue rather than talk to a parent I probably would do that in future.

The boys didn't fall out at all...in fact at school today he apparently asked DS to go to house again after school.
When DS asked if he could I said it might not be a very good idea. DS could not understand why when his friend had invited him, found it hard to explain so just said we were going to heve tea early.

Sounds very like a neurotic mother that I know - she will shout to the entire county about the problem, but never to the person she has a problem with - it's a form of attention seeking. I would step back before she gets worse, it is tough for your DS, considering he likes her DS, but the last thing that you want is her dashing to School every time he steps out of line.