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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

- actually, I know I am ...

28 replies

thothefrostwascruelladepoppins · 08/12/2010 22:44

So. Snow. DH's bus got him home 2 hours after ETA, his dinner had been in the oven for some time (can't hold off forever with 2 hungry DSs to feed, plus DH likes his dinner more or less on the table when he comes home so I have to take a guess when to start cooking it).

When he came in, the phone had just rung, someone looking for him to make up the numbers for a game, he was a bit Angry/Hmm because they had told him yesterday he wouldn't be needed, anyway he turned and went straight back out again without his dinner. He will eat out after the game. The cat got his dinner ... it was ruined anyway.

The DSs and I weren't able to use the table for their craft activities (we have 100 Christmas cards to make, infant sweatshop) because it was set up for his dinner ... none of which I would resent if he had actually sat down and eaten the bloody thing. He had a long wait for the bus and a very slow and boring journey, he didn't particularly want to go out tonite - he had even phoned them last night to see if he would be needed, because if so he would take his kit into work and not have to come home and head out again.

So ... I watched "Miranda" which he downloaded onto the iPlayer last night, on my own instead of waiting for a time when we could watch it together. Grrrr.

On the upside, the cat is Smile.

OP posts:
walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 08/12/2010 22:54

Eh? Table set up his dinner for 2 hrs?
I'm not at all opposed to having dinner ready when the other parent comes home, if possible but you seem to pander to him a bit.
And he CAN say no to people who just want him to make up numbers.

DitaVonCheese · 08/12/2010 22:57

I'm not entirely sure what the question is but I don't think YABU. Mainly I am just Shock that anyone actually expects their dinner on the table, I thought that was a comedy cliche. Also not sure how elaborate a place setting can be for one person that can't be moved to one side and then set back up again in about 40 seconds. But I think YANBU to be a bit miffed :)

DitaVonCheese · 08/12/2010 23:11

I was thinking more like this Wink

color · 08/12/2010 23:11

shoot me down too I always have dh dinner ready and table set for him. well almost always.
op yanbu but he is for letting them use him like that.

Bobbiesmum · 08/12/2010 23:12

Is this a joke? Dinner on the table? With place settings? And you think you ABU???!!!!

BitOfFun · 08/12/2010 23:13

ROFL Dita Xmas Grin

AnyFuleSno · 08/12/2010 23:14

you shouldn't have passed on the message until he'd eaten Wink

MaureenMLove · 08/12/2010 23:19

Why is it so odd to have DH's dinner ready for when he comes home and also table set? Hmm

OP didn't say he demanded it, she simply said he liked it and given that he's had a pretty rubbish journey, due to snow, why wouldn't she oblige?

Anyway OP, I don't think ybu! He will be eating after whatever it is he's doing, so there you go! Lucky cat, I say!

AnyFuleSno · 08/12/2010 23:20

color's husband at dinner

DitaVonCheese · 08/12/2010 23:36

I've just never heard anyone say it in all seriousness in real life! Also OP seems to suggest that her DH comes home at a different time each day so it seems like a bit of an unreasonable request.

It doesn't read to me as though this was a one-off (ie her having his dinner ready because he was late).

And I still think table setting takes seconds (but then we are uncouth Xmas Wink).

AnyFule Xmas Grin ours does go a bit that way at times ... Xmas Blush

LaWeaselMys · 08/12/2010 23:45

Fair enough if they come home at a regular time.

But if DP gets back late he can heat up the leftovers or have a sandwich. Does no one else do this?

magicmummy1 · 09/12/2010 00:00

reminds me of that old advert: "your dinner's in the dog". Always used to make me chuckle. Grin

Hope the cat got a proper place setting too. :)

BitOfFun · 09/12/2010 00:01

OP needs a slow cooker, methinks

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 09/12/2010 00:27

Poppins, why are you doing this to yourself?

why are you allowing your self to be put under so much pressure?

Do you have a microwave?

He is late, he has to be flexible.

What, out of interest happens if dinner is NOT ready? if the table is not SET?

Does he treat you with this appalling lack of respect and consideration all the time? Does he not consider your time, effort or feelings at all?

Wake up, this is not a nice way to live.
(been there, done that, it's utter bollocks)

toddlerama · 09/12/2010 12:55

Yep, slow cooker. It's the only way when one of you has to rely on public transport / bad traffic to get home.

TheProvincialLady · 09/12/2010 13:14

If your husband seriously expects you to have dinner on the table (and the table set just for him, to the exclusion of all activities whilst it is waiting) and that he can decide at a moment's notice that his social life is more important and he can just swan off without eating it, then he is a selfish dick. Don't pander to him. If he isn't home at the normal time then put his dinner in the over/cover it so he can microwave it, clear the table and get on with the rest of the evening.

Unless of ocurse he is The King, in which case carry on as you were.

TheProvincialLady · 09/12/2010 13:14

oven

MumInBeds · 09/12/2010 14:23

Anyway, was Miranda good? I'm planning to watch tonight.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 09/12/2010 14:45

He is BABannoying for buggering off again when he'd just got home.

But you ABU for having the table laid ready for his arrival Shock

How long does it take to put a knife and fork on the table? In all honesty? 10 seconds?

Do you think he'd be embarrassed to find out that you keep the table pristine and laid for his arrival, and the expense of other things you have to do?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 09/12/2010 14:45

Yeah Miranda was great btw Xmas Grin

mayorquimby · 09/12/2010 15:09

Football, dinner and not having to watch Miranda.
This Man Knows

Original poster
thothefrostwascruelladepoppins · 09/12/2010 16:58

Thanks all for your comments and the funny pictures, gave me a good laugh. DH v. apologetic when he got home, he Knows He Has Been Bad.

He always has dinner ready for me when he is at home and I am coming back from work - the difference is I don't really want it, would rather stooge around with a G&T, but we eat with the DCs so there isn't a LOT of leeway. You could set your watch by me but then I work locally and either cycle or walk.

I think you're right about the slow-cooker/ casserole route when we are relying on public transport to get him home, and I will put some more thought into that. Tonight it's sausages.

And I enjoyed Miranda, on my own, with G&T and tortilla chips.

OP posts:
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