Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to yell at DH's friend this evening

23 replies

Mollycat1 · 08/12/2010 18:15

My Dh's best friend is a bit of an idiot! We have always had a love hate relationship but I will always tolerate him for the sake of DH.

This friend lives in a campervan (building a house that is huge and they cant pay for and is no where near finished) with his wife, camper is disgusting, mouldy, damp and unhealthy in my opinion. As it has been so cold here their water is frozen so they asked to come and use our shower etc at ours which is no problem at all but....

They turn up complain the house is cold, complain about what i am watching on tv, complain as they dont like our cat and basically complain about everything. It drives me nuts and I just think it is rude. They are coming tonight and I am already dreading it.

His wife also said recently that when we try to have a baby to tell them so she could try to and be off the same time as me. We started trying a few months ago and when it came up in conversation the wife went mad and said they would have to start trying to. I hadnt said anything because of where they live and I dotn think its a suitable environment for a baby.

Am i being unreasonable to just flip tonight?

OP posts:
Parsgirl · 08/12/2010 18:41

YANBU

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 08/12/2010 18:45

Grin like a loon and get through today, but that is it when it comes to baths in your house from now on.

How dare they have the cheek to say anything.

I say grin inanely at them, but I know I'd be tempted to say "If our home is not to your liking they are more than welcome to go back to yours"

They are being rude.

Rush them out after they have had their baths, tell them you have things to do.

Next time, you are busy.

You need to distance yourselves from them.

pink4ever · 08/12/2010 18:51

eh? why do they have to have a baby at same time as you? Tell your hubby in no uncertain terms that he has to dump this friend.End of.
YABU if you continue to have anything to do with this pair of weirdos.

TragicallyHip · 08/12/2010 18:52

I think it's quite odd for them to want to try for a baby at the same time and then go mad for you not mentioning it.

So YANBU

SantasENormaSnob · 08/12/2010 18:54

They sound very rude.

I couldn't keep up the pretence if I were you.

thisisyesterday · 08/12/2010 18:55

how bizarre of them!!!

god... please try not to have a baby at the same time as her, she'll be round constatnly!!!

i would definitely say to them next time they complain "if you don't like it, you don't have to be here"

taintedsnow · 08/12/2010 18:56

They sound rude, obviously, but my guess is the baby thing is coming out of being far too eager to bond with you. Perhaps the wife doesn't have many friends. I quite agree it's odd, but probably entirely innocent.

Original poster
Mollycat1 · 08/12/2010 19:04

He he they just arrived and the first thing they said was gosh its cold in here!!!

Obviously havent told them but I am 6weeks pergnant not long found out and not telling them either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollycat1 · 08/12/2010 19:05

Should also have said, its not cold here, we have the heating on and a fire roaring in the lounge. I work as a childminder so our housse is always warm.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 08/12/2010 19:11

ignore as much of the "complaints" as you can. just don't even reply.

if forced to reply then try and be flippant! don't under any circumstances pander to them!!

prettywhiteguitar · 08/12/2010 19:23

make a joke of everything they say then hopefully you will be so annoying they will go away

CrazyChristmasLady · 08/12/2010 19:34

I would have to say something sarky like "you don't have to come and use my house if it isn't up to your standards in some way"

They are rude and the baby thing is weird.

What happens if you get pregnant and they find out they have a problem or something? She would probably resent you and your baby.

They sound like awful people and I'm surprised you have been able to hold onto your tongue (although I get it, DH's best mate has a GF that we can't stand but we have to put up with her, unfortunately I'm not great at hiding my feelings and while I thought I was doing a pretty good job, DH informed me that it is very obvious, whoops).

CrazyChristmasLady · 08/12/2010 19:35

Oh, congratulations on your pregnancy (just saw the last few posts). Xmas Smile

DONT TELL THEM!!! Until you really have to!

pingpongmerrilyonhigh · 08/12/2010 20:18

They sound quite nutty
If they say its cols I'd reply with you wont want to stay then, byeeeeeeeeee Grin

Dont like whats on tv? Well dont they have one at home?

Maybe it supposed to be a jokey statement ie we're so cold where we are we''l ironically ponit oput how warm your place is then you'll invite us to stay
weird

verytellytubby · 08/12/2010 20:19

Congratulations!

They sound weird.

Kitta · 08/12/2010 20:22

Congratulations!

And what a pair of weirdos. .
that and tell them to piss off

saffy85 · 08/12/2010 21:40

Start handing them an invoice each time for full use of the facilities? I bloody would, either that or forget to answer the door. Xmas Grin

Congratulations on your pregnancy Smile what a lovely early christmas present.

zipzap · 08/12/2010 22:00

Think I would have told her that I deliberately did not want to tell her that you were trying to get pregnant as
a) it's a personal thing
b) it's not a race or competition
c) you don't particularly want to be pregnant at the same time as her, it's something you want to do in your own time and space, not feel you have to share with somebody else
d) their choice of timing for trying should be when they and their relationship (and their surroundings!) are ready for it, not based on when it is right for somebody else to try
e) etc along these lines

and then you don't even have to get started on the campervan side of things - guess if they had a baby and were still in the campervan, they would want to be around at yours a lot more than they are now, which would be just when you wouldn't want them to be - and when you would feel even more guilty saying no because you knew there would be an innocent baby involved but at the same time it would be causing the quality of time to spend with your baby to deteriorate potentially so you then get to feel double guilty Sad.

Oh and don't forget to think of what you are going to say if they ask to be godparents when they do find out... they sound like they think that they have that level of importance to you and your dh. and you don't want to be caught off guard (having watched it happen to another friend who felt obliged to say yes long before the baby was born but really didn't want to but couldn't think of a nice/good way (or indeed any way) to say 'no' or even 'we're not even thinking about that yet')

Oh and congratulations on becoming pregnant, great news Grin

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/12/2010 22:27

What is your DH's opinion of his friend's complaints? Or did they only mouth off at you?

And yes, the baby-at-the-same-time thing is deeply weird.

StewieGriffinsMom · 08/12/2010 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mollycat1 · 09/12/2010 18:19

DH is so laid back that he does not bother by anything they say. Think i made it pretty obvious what my feelings were last night, i ate my dinner in the lounge watching tv while they ate in the kitchen. When they came through after i must have yawned about 50 times then announced I was going to bed and they should leave. They didnt quite get the subtle hint so I just went to bed!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mollycat1 · 09/12/2010 18:19

Thanks for the congratulations :-)

OP posts:
oldraver · 09/12/2010 18:27

Turn off the heating when they are here, might as well show them what cold is Grin

Cant you say anything at all ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page