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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry, another dog one

51 replies

YuleTideD0G · 08/12/2010 17:44

Our neighbour who btw is very lovely, has a massive dog, I'm not a dog hater by any means before I start, I love dogs and am not usually overly nervous, just cautious.

I'm not entirely sure of the breed sort of huskyish but much bigger. Neighbour has said dog weighs 14 stone. It's a nasty dog, again by neighbours own admission.

I never let my dc's in the garden by themselves when the dog is out and even when I'm there it worries me. It's a low fence which the dog could get over if he wanted to (probably 4 foot). He watches and paces when my dcs are in the garden.

Today neighbour was stood by our front gate chatting to dp with dog on the lead (no muzzle) dd was stood closest, this all happened so quickly I didn't have a chance to process to think to move dd iyswim neighbour was sort of passing but stopped to talk whilst I was getting shoes on to take DD out, anyway all of a sudden this dog leapt at dd's face snarling.

This was with no provoking at all dd was just stood there. It was cms away from her face. Luckily neighbour managed to yank it back. However, having seen this makes me far more nervous of the dog than ever before. I didn't think he'd be this bad as they have a gc who plays in the garden with the dog so before now I've thought it's me being paranoid iyswim.

Anyway I think want I want to ask is Aibu to ask him to please muzzle it when he walks it? It really was a very close call. I also want to put a higher fence up between us but don't want there to be bad feeling, he really is a nice man and it's a shame in a way as we often chat over the fence. I can't not though can I? It's rented property but I'm guessing it's probably not my landlords responsibility?

OP posts:
classydiva · 09/12/2010 15:08

I think you are going to have to sort the fence yourself.

He doesnt have to put up another fence, and if you are concerned ask your Landlords permission to put one up.

I think asking him to muzzle the dog or alternatively ask him not to come near your children when walking him might be better.

Original poster
YuleTideD0G · 09/12/2010 15:14

Nope not an akita I think he is mclosest in looks to the alaskan malumute, bit bigger.

I've not had a chance to speak to him yet. I wil., It's interesting that you say it's not up to him to put a fence up. I'm not going to argue with him about this as it's more important to just do it asap. However, I would be inclined to think if he has a bloody great viscous dog that it should be him supplying a bigger fence to keep him out of my garden, not the other way round?

OP posts:
Original poster
YuleTideD0G · 09/12/2010 15:17

The more I think about yesterday the crosser I feel tbh especially seeing how scared dd was/is. He hasn't apologised, possibly embrarrssed.

What happened could have been awful and should never have happened especially when dd was stood in her own gateway iyswim.

OP posts:
FunkySnowSkeleton · 09/12/2010 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
YuleTideD0G · 09/12/2010 19:38

Really? Police? Seems a bit full on.

Yes, I will ask about a muzzle first, I'm a bit nervous about doing it, which seems silly really but I'm quite shy and will find it hard to broach the subject

OP posts:
cheapskatemum · 09/12/2010 19:49

Regarding the fence: if you're standing at your back door looking out into your back garden, is the fence between you & him on your left hand side, or your right? If it's the left, it's your neighbour's, if it's the right it's your landlord's/yours. You might also need planning permission if you go higher than 6 foot.

Poor DD, something similar happened to DS2 & he was scared of dogs for a few years till we got our own & he learned to love her.

hatwoman · 09/12/2010 19:56

no need to feel shy. especially as he's a nice person. knock on his door and ask if you could have a chat about yesterday. tell him you are worried. that dd is now scared. tell him you like dogs. try to start the conversation off as a sort of collaborative thing - what can we do to prevent it (or, worse) happening again. if you come across as assuming that he too would hate anything to happen (which I'm sure is true) then you're both on the same side - he'll find you hard to argue with iyswim. mention muzzles and the fence (what about a long lead when he's in the garden - you can get various types that allow them the freedom of the garden but no further) . also suggest that when he has the dog you don't stop to chat - not being rude, just trying to avoid the situation. I think it's really important that you do talk to him.

SpringHeeledJack · 09/12/2010 20:01

if he's a nice neighbour, he won't mind putting a higher fence up/letting you put one up

We have spent a fecking fortune on fencing for our (surprisingly agile Angry) staffs! They're too very friendly and sweet, but I am pretty certain that, whatever the neighbours say, they won't want our dogs rampaging round their gardens...

EggFriedRice · 09/12/2010 20:06

YANBU, your neighbour is a __ I suggest that you throw something horrible in their garden to kill the bloody dog, dogs don't normally eat chocolate or rat poisoning, go on I dare you give it something lethal, will solve the problem hopefully Smile

nightwidow · 09/12/2010 21:30

cheapskatemum that isn't always the case. We had a new neighbour tried to argue the fence on our right was our responsibility when it definitely wasn't- it will say on your deeds.

Anyway it doesn't matter whose fence it is. The dangerous dogs act says that it is the owners responsibility to control their dog.

MrsBonkers · 10/12/2010 02:47

I was going to suggest the same as hatwoman . Don't mention muzzels or fences just ask him to come up with ideas with you as 'you like dogs and want DD to like them too.' You can then drop a muzzel into the conversation as if you've only just thought of it.
The local council should have a dog warden that you can talk to if you don't get anywhere approaching your neighbour directly.

healthyElfy · 10/12/2010 12:16

You could ask the RSPCA for advice so you have some well researched things to say to your nice neighbour.

Vallhala · 10/12/2010 13:20

EggFriedRice, that says far more about you than it ever does about the dog or his owner.

Your "advice" is disgusting and shameful.

midori1999 · 10/12/2010 13:26

I agree Val. (Unsuprisingly!)

I doubt it makes you feel better, but if the dog had intended to attack your DD, it would have done.

It is perfectly reasonably to ask your neighbour to alter the fencing and also ask him to muzzle the dog in public. If the dog can be unpredictable, this would be in the best interests of the dog anyway, as if it frightens someone badly enough or bites someone, the decision may well be out of the owners hands. If the owner feels fencing will be too expensive, maybe he could consider keeping the dog on a safe longline when it is in the garden?

I am sorry your DD was so shaken up, I hope she gets over it quickly.

Original poster
YuleTideD0G · 10/12/2010 21:48

I beg to differ, I do think it was an attack. The dog went straight for my dd's face. It only stopped because neighbour yanked it away. Whilst I don't agree with eggfriedrice, who btw I'm sure was being a bit tongue in cheek, I do think neighbour needs to do some serious training and if he isn't willing to do so he should consider rehoming and tbh I believe the dog is viscous and had he even managed to touch dd I would be insisting he was pts. You had to be there to believe it iyswim

OP posts:
D0G · 22/02/2011 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pjmama · 22/02/2011 13:43

Blimey! At least common sense prevailed in the end, sounds like this particular dog was beyond redemption. I hope your DD has got over the fright and it doesn't put her off dogs for life - the majority of family pooches are lovely.

coccyx · 22/02/2011 13:47

What a sad end. Wrong dog/wrong owner etc

D0G · 22/02/2011 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Vallhala · 22/02/2011 13:58

Poor, poor dog, let down by yet another utter arsehole.

D0G · 22/02/2011 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daimbardiva · 22/02/2011 14:15

Goodness, how awful. Although I can't believe your neighbour let himself get into that situation.

What a close miss it was for your daughter indeed. Glad for you it's all sorted out, but what a horrid thing to happen all round. Could've been so much worse though

PaisleyLeaf · 22/02/2011 14:16

He's not likely to get another one then? Good.
We lived next door to a situation like this, and like you, the dog attacked the owner (thank goodness) and had to be shot.
Our neighbour really loved his dog, just had no idea.

BringOnTheGoat · 22/02/2011 14:17

Poor dog and poor owner - some people are not equipped to care for animals. Glad you and your DD were OK.

D0G · 22/02/2011 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.