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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to rip my hair out in frustration

13 replies

LynnieLurker · 08/12/2010 07:51

Hello all,

Not posted before but have been lurking a while. I do live apart from dd's Father so this complicates matters somewhat. However, we are in houses 0.2 miles away from each other.

He is off work this week with man flu. I've recently been promoted and have already had 3 days off looking after DD daughter earlier in the year - after assuring them in interview that sick care of daughter was something me and her Father took turns in! We split care 50/50.

I rang him this morning at 7 to let him know she'd had a really bad night, up 4 times, crying and complaining of sore head and tummy. Temp was up, so calpol supplied but she was still awake - in total- for about 2 hours. She's now dead to the world and I'm loathe to wake her. She's 4.

I need to leave at 8am to get to work, she could, theoretically sleep till 830am and get to school on time if she is well enough to attend. Yet if I was to drop her at his, like I usually do she'd have needed to be up at 7. I asked him to come here, to let her sleep in and me get to work. He basically said no, he hadn't had a shower etc etc. This was at 7 and I don't need to leave till 8. FGS. So I've rang work, told them I'll be late in this morning, vague as to why. Very naughty but the guilt of knowing if me and her Father were together she'd be able to sleep this horrible night off means I find it impossible to do anything else.

AIBU to have expected him to come round at 8 and look after DD here? After all he'd have been looking after her from 8 at his normally?

OP posts:
Plumm · 08/12/2010 07:54

Not unreasonable at all.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 08/12/2010 07:57

No.

thrifty · 08/12/2010 08:01

can't you take her there? She could still sleep there. Wrap her in a blanket and put her in the car/buggy. Take clothes.

LynnieLurker · 08/12/2010 08:06

I could take her there but fairly sure she'd wake up during the process of getting into car. If nothing else because of the difference in temperature right now.

The whole point of ringing him to come here was so she could sleep off the rubbish night. Never mind that it's "his" turn. Though I do realise just how childish that last sentence sounds. :-(

OP posts:
Sparkle2010 · 08/12/2010 08:07

Do you really want her going to his and catching his cold on top of whatever else is wrong with her? I think you are being a little unreasonable but I do understand that you need to get to work.

LynnieLurker · 08/12/2010 08:19

She sees us both everyday though - he does morning drop off and I do pick up and we split the rest of time 50/50. So germ wise no point keeping her away now, to be honest though, he's got a runny nose and a bad case of feelingsorryforhimself. Which I know we all get from time to time. Guess that's where the frustration comes from, if he was really ill, in that couldn't get out of bed ill I wouldn't ask but we both know he's being a bit of drama queen about it, even joked about it last night! It was his flat out refusal not to come here, which was clearly the best thing for daughter and a very helpful thing for me.

OP posts:
MrManager · 08/12/2010 09:30

YABU he is ill, you are not.

impatient1 · 08/12/2010 09:34

YANBU, he is! If he lives such a short distance away, Ill or not, he could get round there.Mums dont get to wallow when they are ill, why should dads?

hairyfairylights · 08/12/2010 09:38

He's I'll too so I can understand his reasons for not coming round. Do you want her to catch what he's got?

SerendipitousHarlot · 08/12/2010 09:39

MrManager, he has a cold. I'm sure he can cope Hmm

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 08/12/2010 09:44

A cold is 'ill'? hahahahahaha

sniffles do not require bedrest. Come on!

LynnieLurker · 08/12/2010 10:58

Well that's what I thought too . . but to be honest even if he was properly ill - we both have high pressure jobs and he realises (now) that it would have been easier for him ill to drive 0.2 miles and sleep on my sofa, whilst dd than it was for me to rearrange my schedule today.

Guess it's easy for him to say that as he's the one off (though I'm now reliably informed he's 'working from home').

OP posts:
LynnieLurker · 08/12/2010 10:59

Oh and she's 4 so not too worried about her catching a runny nose today from her Dad who she sees everyday anyway! She's got a permanent runny nose/cough/cold at the moment anyway.

OP posts:
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