to think that if the note says 'costume made by child'..

[InkyStamp]

then it should be?

Dropped dc off at nursery. We had been told to dress them up in a costume made by the child. The note even stated that it didnt have to be anything elaborate, even just a cardboard box with paper stuck to it as a hat. But it did stress that it was to be made by the child.

Probably 80% or more of the children were dressed in princess dresses, buzz lightyear suits, Santa suits - all bought from the shop. As far as I could see (and they were all lined up in front of us) they didnt even 'embellish' these with a homemade something or other like a wand or hat.

My dc spent ages painting and sticking and was proud of it ( I did have to ask what it was though!!) and couldnt wait to see friends creations. When he got to school there was tears because his 'wasnt as good as the 'proper' ones, Mummy'. He was crushed :(

I am not saying everything has to be home made (FGS who has the time???) but on this occasion it really was stressed that the kids should make it.

[c0rns1lk]

hopefully he'll be praised at nursery for trying so hard though

[Nickiename]

inkystamp, I am sorry your child was upset, but my issue with this is that even the 'made by child' costumes aren't really made by the child, are they? The parent will have to buy or assemble stuff to make the costume out of and help and supervise the making (these are two and three year olds, yes?) and some parents will be busy, especially at this time or year, and I don't actually think nurseries should be bossing parents around to this extent. If they want the kids to only wear things they have made themselves, then I think the nursery should have organised costume making as an activity for the children during their nursery day.
I am now wondering how a kid can wear a cardboard box 'as a hat' anyway - what, a cat food box or cereal box? They wont go on even a small head. A supermarket box? Too big!

[fedupofnamechanging]

Maybe you could suggest to the school that these costumes are made in school in future, given that most parents have ignored the spirit of it.

[cubbie]

Awww the wee lamb, am so sorry for him.

I agree, they should have been made by the dc.

Yes, it is easier just to buy a costume but if the note specifically said to be mede by children, then I would have adhered to it and so should the other parents.

I feel really sorry for your wee boy as i'm just imagining my ds in the same situation. There's not much worse than seeing your dc upset and feeling out of it.

I hope the nursery staff make a huge fuss of him and give him a special prize or take his pic and display it with the caption of best-made costume.

I'd be inclined to say quietly to the staff how upset he was although I'm sure they noticed and feel just as you do.

A wee hug for your wee soul.

[Serendippy]

Lots of parents will argue that school should not send anything home for children to do, so they bought a costume because why should their child be without a costume just because the school couldn't be arsed to do their job and sent stuff home for the parents to do?

Not my view, just think that many would argue this and it is sad but the only way to stop it is to not have any tasks sent home which the parents might have to show the slightest bit of interest in.

[cubbie]

That's a good idea form the OP's about doing it in nursery in future. Didn't think of that, just felt heart-sorry for your ds!

[maktaitai]

IMO if the staff have any sense they will give your dc a big star and a round of applause for making his own costume.

I do agree that I think this should have been done at nursery, but also I agree that it is hardly rocket science for parents to supervise a scribble on a piece of paper which is then a badge. (Shades of the old Not the Nine o clock News sketch - 'a lovely hat... a nice pair of earrings...) YANBU to take a picture of your ds in his costume, send it to grandparents, give him a cake for his hard work.

[orangepoo]

This happens a lot - my DS was supposed to go to a dress up day along similar line and the person who was idolised was the one wearing the spiderman costume (zero to do with the instructions!). DS wouldn't stop talking about that costume.

[mistletoeploppy]

Poor little DS . I hope they made a fuss of him and told him how clever he was

[taintedsnow]

YANBU. Poor DS. :(

Unfortunately, some parents would rather go for the easy option than spend the time doing things like this. It's a shame, and I know some parents don't have a lot of free time, but I refuse to believe that's what happened in all those cases.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

I will NEVER forget the year my mother wrapped me in brown paper tied with string and sent me as a parcel.

NEVER

[ShanahansRevenge]

There is hope...my DD (6) came home with a note stating she had to write a poem for school competition. She worked on it alone all evening and went in with it.

The next day all the entires were on the wall..and about 95% were written by the parents...obviously. she was crestfallen at the quality of the poems and felt her rhymes weren't good enough.

On the Friday she won first prize.

You did the right thing...most parents are too busy to make things...I agree that they should have been made in school.

[InkyStamp]

Cornsilk - Hopefully. his key worker is great and they love each other so hopefully he will be ok.

Nickie - I am a BAD parent! I put down some paint and some cardboard and some paper and stickytape, said 'knock yourself out' and went to make dinner So yes, supervision so he didnt paint the walls, but no, I didnt make it, he did. and he is three. I believe they call it 'junk modelling' in the EYFS so all children are capable of it. I do take your point re busyness, but it was only one time. Usually they are really good about things like this.

Karma - good idea. I think I will. They did for Diwali, so it is definitely possible!

Cubbie - thanks. It is heart breaking, isnt it? Especially when they are so proud and have put so much effort in!

Serendippy - That argument is a WHOLE different thread! :) But yes, there is that argument!

[InkyStamp]

Argh! lots of xposts! Sorry!

Thanks for the responses guys! Yes, I guess I just feel bad for Ds!

[Serendippy]

Inky I know, just pointing out why there will always be children who have the 'best, most professional' looking stuff when others have worked really hard and were proud of their efforts. Hopefully the staff at the nursery will validate his hard work.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Chances are the costumes were made by a child.......in Pakistan

[InkyStamp]

True...

And really..a PARCEL?

[Casserole]

I'm sad for him!

Hopefully they will make a fuss of him for working so hard on it, especially if they saw he was feeling a bit crestfallen

It sounds lovely the way you did it so it really was all his own work. Maybe a big fuss of him tonight, lots of photos and praise for being so clever, etc? Would be such a shame for him to end up feeling rubbish about it after enjoying making it so much.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

Yes

[InkyStamp]

How old were you? Was it a last minute thing?

[InkyStamp]

Thanks for the support guys. Will go really OTT when he gets home, lots of photos and will send them to the grandparents!

Will also talk to the nursery.

[gorionine]

A few years ago for world book day they did a big do in school. DD1 and DS2 were the only children in the school wearing their own creation. Just as OP my heart sank for them but all ended well as DD1 picture ended on the local paper and Ds2 got chosen to give flowers to the Mayor's wife. I hope your son will have a very exiting day as well InkyStamp!

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

I was about 4/5

Yes was last minute, mother was a single parent of 4, she had more jobs than I could count on one hand, my adult self has forgiven but the child in me

The shame still rankles !

[SantaPawz]

ACT I'm so doing that for my dd next year! Fabulous

[Spacehoppa]

Poor DS. Sends a hug. YANBU at all.