To attempt to talk about DS real father?

[thatwasthen]

When DS was a year old I left his biological father because of emotional/verbal (and on 2 occasions, physical)abuse. Felt really proud of myself for giving my son a much better life, and 6 months later I met a lovely man who is now my DH and father of DS2.
I have tried to mention the biological family (still in touch with MIL, father has had nothing to do with him- his choice) and don't want it to be a 'surprise' that he has bio-dad elsewhere. DH says I am creating problems by mentioning it if DS doesn't talk about it and that I need to be careful as when DS is 14 he might blame me. AIBU to expect him to accept that I took him away for a good reason (without EVER saying your real father did X, obviously)DS and DH not exactly close, but it is as close to a biological relationship as you could get, and he does think of him as his son.

I have a daughter-father relationship with him. It has it's ups and downs, but we love each other and there is no need for me to look elsewhere

My mum once told me (when I was about 18 I think) that she had information and pictures of my biological father should I ever want to know more, but that moment has never come for me. I think she was surprised I had never asked. I don;t know if she still has them. She's moved a fair few times since then (and she and my dad have got divorced in fact). I wonder if I should ask her for them just to see her panic

Thanks Queen rollo, and sorry to hear about your experience, that must've been so hard for you and your sister/your family to deal with. I absolutely won't be keeping it a secret and will try and be as open as I can be, without going into all the details. Thanks for the insights. Fallen-I think if we stay open and honest and try to maintain that loving relationship that you've experienced, then hopefully the fallout, if and when it happens, won't be quite so bad.