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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell the school I will not be bringing DS in tomorrow

76 replies

notalone · 06/12/2010 10:18

We are in Yorkshire where the weather has been horrendous. DS's school was closed for most of last week due to the snow and opened for the first time today because "the roads are now clear". However for those without access to a car the school run is absolutely treacherous (spelling?) and all the people I saw on the way said the same thing - they would much rather have braved the knee high snow than the ice rink that is out there today. I have lost count of the amount of times DS fell over and despite wearing a pair similar to these, I still nearly went over numerous times www.amazon.co.uk/Petzl-Spiky-Plus-Anti-slip-Over-Shoe/dp/B000YBAWD0/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1291630029&sr=8-12

The temperature readers on cars were reading -13, the pavements are solid compact ice and crossing side roads is like risking life and limb. It usually takes 15 mins each way but in total took me an hour and 20 minutes today. When we finally got to school I spoke to the secretary and advised her I was not prepared to risk it again tomorrow if it is still the same, and then when I got home there was a message from the parent support worker who is going to call me back later. I am worried about what they may say but if they don't allow the children out to play in it at lunch time because of health and safety then how can they expect them to walk to school in it?
Please be gentle with me and don't flame me on this

OP posts:

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 11:51

. now I am fuming. The Parent Support Worker has just called to "warn me" that if I do take him out of school it will go down as unauthorised absence. When she called her first words were "I understand your son isn't in school today". Yes, he is in school today so she didn't even have her facts right. She offered no support - any suggestions on how to get him into school were made by me. She was basically just calling to have a go. She was really bloody patronising too - "Well Ms Notalone - we all have to struggle to get in, not just you"

Bubblerock - that is disgusting. Really really shocking.

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ImeldaM · 06/12/2010 11:52

bubblerock, thats awful, we got a comment too about being 'latecomers', really annoying, from TA with 4wd jeep style vehicle , IMO we did well to get there at all, and had to walk along road for some of the way

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 11:52

I felt like it Val. I really did. Can I get fined for unauthorised absence?

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Goingspare · 06/12/2010 12:02

That's stupid bubblerock and Imelda. As well as letting us make our own decisions about attending at all last winter, our school made a point of not recording late arrivals.

Deliaskis · 06/12/2010 12:04

Hmmm...I'm in two minds over this one. I don't think YABU per se, as I can totally understand your concerns (tottering around on the ice at 30 weeks pg myself this morning!), but I also don't think that a people should just stay at home until it thaws. It could be spring before that happens.

I think if you really can't walk, you need to look at alternative ways of getting your DC to school.

PinkElephant73 · 06/12/2010 12:09

OP, I hope you can find another parent to give DS a lift to school tomorrow as that seems like the most practical option if roads are safe to drive on. failing that, what about a taxi.

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 12:13

Thats the think though Delia. I am trying to write my dissertation and the last thing I need is Ds under my feet.If there is any other solution (such as lifts from my friend etc) then I will find them and use them to get DS into school. However, what if I exhaust all of these? Why is it ok for the school to decide to close because it is too dangerous but parents are not allowed to make such judgements themselves? The "support worker" said herself that Ds's attendance is exceptional so isn't it obvious to her that I really do feel it is unsafe rather than being someone who is just trying to get out of taking her child to school.

I am actually thinking of complaining to the school about the phone call this morning. The "support worker" offered no support and didn't have her facts correct before she called so what was the point? I would rather the head or a teacher or even the secretary had called rather than this faceless support worker person.

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Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 12:14

Thanks Pinkelephant. I will ask my friend but if she can't I don't know. As a student I can't afford a taxi everyday, sometimes I can barely afford a loaf of bread

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Deliaskis · 06/12/2010 12:20

notalone I do sympathise with your situation, and FWIW, I don't think so many schools should have closed for as long as they did.

I think a lot of schools in a lot of areas (not all) could have focussed more on making things safe, and having a strategy for how to open during winter conditions, rather than just declaring 'it's not safe'.

We really can't all just stay home until it thaws.

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 12:23

I know Delia. I hope it doesn't last too much longer but I know what you are saying. If it was normal snow or ice it would not matter too much but this is thick solid compacted ice like a sheet all the way to school. I wish they had closed this week and opened last week - at least the walk to school would have been fun rather than scary.

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Deliaskis · 06/12/2010 12:29

...and would have involved sledges!

ItalianLady · 06/12/2010 12:33

Our head is a stickler for rules but even she wasn't marking people as late last week as they all trudged in.

Someone had cleared a pathway across the pavement but unfortunately not gritted it so is extremely slippy so we all walked on the snow.

Casserole · 06/12/2010 12:44

What about ringing the parent support officer back and asking her to contact other parents who live near you and ask if any of them would be prepared to give you a lift?

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 12:59

I asked that Casserole. I actually said to her - "well do you know anyone near me who can offer us a lift then?" and she stammered a bit and advised she didn't. She was as effective as a chocolate tea pot and offered no support - just criticism

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earwicga · 06/12/2010 13:02

Totally reasonable. I kept mine off for two days last week as I thought it was too dangerous to do the journey to school. If I had realised how the paths would be so icy this morning they wouldn't have gone today either. There were adults as well as children falling over outside the school

earwicga · 06/12/2010 13:07

Also, why is it that people aren't clearing the pavements outside their houses anymore? Last time I lived on a road I did this and so did everyone else.

elmoschristmaswish · 06/12/2010 13:08

You did better than me this morning notalone my dc's school is 7.5 miles away & not on any bus routes . I loaded the dc's into the car at 7.55am & got as far as the end of my estate & my car could not grip the road & started to slide sideways . When i did get a grip on the road again i pulled the car over to the kerb & walked the dc's back home leaving the car there as my road is up a hill & was terrified to chance going up it tbh . God only knows how ill get them to school this week . At least the school was closed all of last week so i didn't have to worry .

GypsyMoth · 06/12/2010 13:11

the thaw is going to be shortlived....there is more snow/bad weather on its way

only a few weeks til school finishes.....can't he catch 'flu' or something as his attendence has been so good??

thehairybabysmum · 06/12/2010 13:17

How far actually is it? If you usually walk can you not just pull your dc on a sledge, this is what i have been doing last 2 weeks. Get some better shoes for yourself and wrap them up warm.

Other than that you should get a bus or taxi.

Sorry, i agree with Delia, you cant just stay in until it melts. Im also in Yorkshire and its also a sheet ofice from here to the school so sorry, im not sympathetic. You cant expect the school to sort this out for you.

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 13:19

The conditions are terrible and from some of the posts on here I am not the only one.

Flu would be a great idea if only I hadn't said anything this morning. They will be really suspicious if I say that now. Damn - I wish I had just lied now and said he was ill. Then, I am sure he would have dropped me in it anyway knowing DS

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GypsyMoth · 06/12/2010 13:24

struggle in rest of the week,then next week maybe he gets 'flu'

never mind the dc falling,what about the parent?? its the xmas stuff in school now,no great amounts of vital work being done

you dont get any medals for traipsing in over sheets of ice!!!

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 13:24

Thehairybabysmum- my first post had a link to the footwear I was wearing. I was wearing ice grips which still didn't work. I don't have a sledge as they were sold out when I tried to buy one, there are no buses and a previous post said that as a full time student I can't afford a taxi. I am not expecting the school to sort it out for me as you put it. I am simply advising them I am not prepared to risk hurting myself or DS. I have told them I will make sure he gets his work done at home and his attendance speaks volumes that this is not me trying to get out of taking him to school. If it is too dangerous for children to play out at lunch time then it is too dangerous for them to walk to school in it.

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Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 13:26

Thanks Ilovetiffany - I am in my final year at uni and due to go on placement soon. If I fall and do myself an injury I won't be able to go on placement and this could mean I don't qualify / have to retake next year which I would not get a bursary for. The risk is not worth it - it is scarily dangeous

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mjinsparklystockings · 06/12/2010 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

notalone · 06/12/2010 13:29

He is 9 MJin

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