to miss my mum not being here for Xmas.

[Portofino]

I know I am really, but I read thread after thread of "issues" about mothers doing this, and MILs doing that, and wish that a) my mother was still alive, and b) my MIL actually had met me/dd more than once.

I honestly wouldn't give a stuff about inappropriate presents or anything. I am just so sad that dd has NO grannies to make a fuss of her.

Me too, although luckily the kids still have one set of grandparents still with us.

I like to listen to the christmas eve service on R3 and have a little cry. Just like she did for her mum. It's nice to have family traditions!

No, you're not being unreasonable at all.

Losing a mum provides a gap no one can fill.

:( i lost my mum 11 years ago, it's so hard

I know, but not all mothers or mils are nice and some people have huge difficulties in their relationships with these people.

Their difficulties don't need to diminish your feelings about missing your own mother. It's nice that you enjoyed a good relationship with her, some of us aren't so lucky to have ever had a relationship like that.

yanbu. I'd love to be able to moan about my parents. I found my own birthday really emotional this year because of this. Birthdays are events for mothers as well, aren't they?

I lost my Dad this year, I would give so so much to see him for just one more Christmas.

It is hard and horrible and you are not being unreasonable.

Some people do have bad relationships with Mothers/MILs but as festivehens said that does not mean that you did not nor that you miss yours.

I also many people really do not know what they have - I would give almost anything to be driven up the wall with exasperation by my much missed mother.

Really wish my mum could at least have met the DD's. She would have loved them, and they would have loved her. I miss her.
But also recognise some mums and MILs can be beyond hard work.
Why does everything seem so difficult sometimes?