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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in texting her?

16 replies

ilovexmasme · 05/12/2010 08:32

to cut a long story short, at work, no one can be bothered of afford to book the xmas party night out, so when nights out need pre booked muggings here does it on her credit card.
the night out was for 17 of us for a 3 course meal at £25 booked for last night ...half of the people had given me the money back in novemeber then i had 2 weeks off work...
the deal was if you dont make the night out you cant get your money back, anyhow due to extreme weather conditions noone could make the night out as the snow iis about 3ft high and roads are really bad
i spoke to a couple of the people whi hadnt paid and said i would still need the money nd they were totally fine..
i facebooked 2 others a msg and they were fine wbout still giving me the money.
i then text 1 of the others (who prior to everyone saying they wernt going had made her mind up not to go anyway !)
"sorry your not going to night out (at this point i wasnt certain if i was going or not)
but as tickets have been booked and paid fir i still need the money, hope you dont mind"
she replied i cant get over to where you live so will see you at work !!!!!!
this has pissed me off, i never implied that i wanted her to come to my house and i will see her at work within next 2 weeks,
i then replied saying "sorry if you think i was being funny about asking for money just i havent seen you in over 3 weeks.... she didnt reply !
was ibu texting her in the first place?

OP posts:

Georgimama · 05/12/2010 08:36

No you weren't being unreasonable in texting her in the first place. Sounds like a fuss over nothing in terms of the texts exchanged tbh. She can't keep responding to the texts otherwise they'd never stop.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 05/12/2010 08:40

So they all have to pay £25 for a meal they will not be attending?

You might struggle to get the money off some people. Not saying it's right, but it's a possibility.

Sorry if you've been stuck with it.

In future, don't pay it yourself. Set up a kitty well in advance.

If they're not bothered enough to sort it out with you in advance - maybe they're not that bothered about a work's christmas meal and you should just forget it?

Original poster

ilovexmasme · 05/12/2010 08:48

yes the night out was £25 but at the time of booking and in small print on the back of the tickets it states " that you have the right to cancel but will not be offered money back" i also rang the restaurant to double check, they said the only time we would be offered a refund is if the cancellation was down to them eg in if the place was closed due to no heating/electricity etc.
i paid on my credit card and i really cant afford to put the money back ... dh isnt very happy as it is always left to me
i am not going to bother my arse as last year i booked somewhere, the night was great etc but some people took forever paying up

OP posts:

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 05/12/2010 08:50

Yes. Just don't bother again.

If you have to chase them all this much and basically chivvy them into it, then take the hint! They're just not bothered!

Don't be out of pocket on something your colleagues really aren't that fussed about.

Casserole · 05/12/2010 09:16

I don't understand really what this is about.

You didn't make it clear in your text that you didn't need the money rightaway - she might have thought you were saying you'd need it that night to pay the restaurant. So she replied to let you know that she would pay it, so that you weren't worried about that, but that as the reason she couldn't get there was the weather, she also couldn't get to you that night to give it to you so would sort it out with you at work... sounds fine to me!

Next year, someone collects deposits in advance before making the booking. If people don't pay the deposit by the date you need it, their names don't go on the booking, simple. If they kick up a fuss later and want to be added, most restaurants wouldn't turn away the extra business.

pjmama · 05/12/2010 10:02

I can't see a problem with her reply either, I think you're overthinking it.

I wouldn't fall into this trap again though, in future if they can't pay up front they don't go. These kinds of arrangements are notoriously difficult. My DH is still owed £150 from someone who said they were coming to the stag do weekend he organised for his best friend, then decided they didn't want to go at the last minute. That was 2 years ago, never likely to see that money again!

overmydeadbody · 05/12/2010 10:08

YANBU and I think you are overthinking her reply. Perfectly reasonalbe imo. And she didn't need to reply to your second text did she?

Don't book these things on your credit card again though, it's obvious your colleagues are not that bothered.

Original poster

ilovexmasme · 05/12/2010 13:25

thanks for all your replies, maybe i am overthinking her text, i took it as though she was being awkward about it...
she is a jekyl and hyde type of character and is rather immature for her 55 years of age ....
she wont say anything to my face but will gossip behind my back...
i now know not to book anything without peoples money...mug that i am

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 05/12/2010 13:56

Her reply seems perfectly fine. Can't see anything wrong with it.

AphraBen · 05/12/2010 14:21

YANBU it stressful. don't let yourself be put in that position again.

Original poster

ilovexmasme · 05/12/2010 20:48

i was only texting her as the credit card is due on the 14th of the month, so was really just making sure she knew she had to still pay .

OP posts:

AphraBen · 05/12/2010 23:56

I think you were fine to text. I hope everyone pays on time

fairycake123 · 06/12/2010 00:56

If you do ever organise something like this again, choose somewhere that doesn't require non-refundable payment upfront.

booyhohoho · 06/12/2010 00:59

she didn't do anything wrong. she was just letting you know she couldn't give you the money straight away. she didn't say she wasn't giving you it. why have you got an issue with this?

TyraG · 06/12/2010 07:37

You were fine to text.

Personally I would suggest you refrain from putting anything work related on your card in the future. If you need to organise anything for work again, call the restaurant and have them email you an estimate of what it will cost per person. Let your co-workers know and set a tentative date, then let them know the money will be due by xx date and if they don't have the money to you, they will not be allowed to attend.

That's what I used to do and it always worked for me.

gingernutlover · 06/12/2010 08:05

it was fine to text, I dont think her reply means she wont pay tbh, I think it means she will speak to you about it/give you the money at work.

Our boos booked our xmas party this year with her credit card, she only booked for the people who had given her the deposit - no money no place on night out.

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