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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with DH for going out today

27 replies

Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:05

DH has gone out for a work party leaving me with 4 DC, 3 of which have tonsillitis, as do I.

AIBU for thinking he could have just called and cancelled? It's only a team do.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 03/12/2010 16:07

He is a bit unreasonable - if I felt I had no choice but to go I'd have gone for a couple of hours only.

bruxeur · 03/12/2010 16:09

Did you actually ask him not to or did you use the wonder that is telepathy?

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 03/12/2010 16:11

depends. I would not expect dh to cancel a work do as he leads his team - it would look crap if he wasn't there. Also, his team, manage to get together once a year so cancellation not really an option.

Aren't you all just in bed or watching movies while eating ice cream?

Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:14

No I did ask him not to go, he said that he 'had to'. Meal was at 3, I asked if he would be home to help me bath the kids or at least get them into bed, he said it would be bad form for him to leave before his boss Hmm

I did suggest that he explain the situation to his boss, who also has children but apparently this wouldn't be acceptable either.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:16

Oh and his team get together once a week for half a days training followed by lunch, so it's not like they never see each other.

OP posts:
ll31 · 03/12/2010 16:18

well presumably its snow day for school and tomorrows weekend and you've all tonsillitis so why are you bathing kids.. let them stay up late watch dvd till they're asleep and carry them into bed... maybe these days people are being more concerned about ensuring they do nothing to upset job/boss etc so he may be being very realistic about what he has to do

SandStorm · 03/12/2010 16:20

Is his job secure? Could he be worried that 'bad form' may put him first in the line for any redundancies?

Plus, 3pm is during the working day when he should be at work regardless so I'm afraid I think YAB a little bit U.

MrManager · 03/12/2010 16:21

YABU

In this economy, no-one wants to be the one who doesn't go to 'optional' meetings.

AgentZigzag · 03/12/2010 16:22

Not sure, it's hard to get across to someone else the atmosphere there can be in a workplace.

I can see his point about not feeling comfortable bringing problems he has at home to his boss.

Presumably he loves both you and your DC, and would never choose work over you unless he really had to.

I'm sure it's not a raving knees up and he'd much rather be at home with you than with the tossers he's forced to work with Smile

Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:24

They are salespeople in media, it will definitey be a raging piss up :o

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 03/12/2010 16:40

If that's the case, just console yourself in the hangover he'll have tomorrow

Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:46

True, but that means I will have to care for all the SC whilst he wallows in bed holding his head and claiming it's not a hangover and that he's genuinely ill Hmm

Can you tell that all the illness this week is getting to me and making me grumpy :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 16:47

DC doh

OP posts:
SantasENormaSnob · 03/12/2010 16:48

Yabu

Go · 03/12/2010 16:48

No it doesn't - go out tomorrow if he has a hangover. Even if he is genuinely ill, then it's just the same as you are today. Might teach him a lesson Grin

JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube · 03/12/2010 16:51

YABU.

There is a solution however. Tomorrow morning, when he's severly suffering, get yourself up and dressed and out the door (for the day I mean, I'm not crying "leave him")! Xmas Grin

Original poster
Rudolphsnose · 03/12/2010 17:28

Oh also, it's not a snow day here, we don't have any. Have to do baths as they haven't had one for 4 days because of being ill, they really need one.

Day out? DH would do his nut.

OP posts:
HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 03/12/2010 18:13

Why?

So it's ok for him to go out but not you?

upahill · 03/12/2010 18:15

YABU

and all these childish responses about going out tomorrow while he has a hangover are predictable, boring and bloody mean tbh

LoveMyGirls · 03/12/2010 18:17

I'd def go out. So what if he does his nut, no good having 1 rule for one and one for another

FakePlasticTrees · 03/12/2010 18:22

YABU - these team dos are often 3 line whips.

Consider this to be work - not 'fun' - these things are important for the way he is seen within the company.

upahill · 03/12/2010 18:28

Ok I would be annoyed at the one rule for me malaky but if it was a level playing field I wouldn't be bothered - having been in this situaton myself when the boys were younger.

I know you are feeling grotty and so is DC but work is work even if it is on a team do/ work party.

LoveMyGirls · 03/12/2010 18:37

Level playing field then fair enough but it's not is it? Plus 4 dcs when they and you are ill needs both parents imo.

MrsGuyOfChristmasBorn · 03/12/2010 18:38

I have been in this position both ways round and to be seen to be in the team is part of the job, as I oul think in his as it is a sales team.
I would agree about not bathing the kids etc, do it in the morning.

Vallhala · 03/12/2010 18:43

"Day out? DH would do his nut." Hmm

Have I just stepped back into the 1950's?

If his response would be to do his nut I suggest that you leave for the entire weekend.

And that the hotel, spa and meal you book are on his credit card.

And no, I'm not joking.