dh,drugs,loosing interest!

[bliss88]

Hey ladies...
Now i need some advice my dh is addicted to drugs...our baby is now 1 and he still doesnt seem lke he wants to quit.

Ive tried everything being resonable and not saying anything letting him do it alone, ive shouted at him etc, ive tried to understand but i realy cant, i dont understad why he wont quit, ive told him to leave if he dusnt quit but it never gets to that i give in.

This isnt just effect myself and my ds its efect my mil and my mum as i am so depressed about it.

Ive tried to get him professinal help but he wont try. i really need advice. shall i leave him? i love him dearly and we are happy. but only 40% of the time and 60% of the time im soo sad. He goes out most nights. so im left to bathtime and im exhausted. HE SMOKES NO WHERE NEAR THE HOUSE. but hes just soo different when hes high and its soo sad as we have such good times when hes nt influenced which tells me that the relationship is worth fighting for, but i dot think he desevere such a wonderful ds and myself im soo stuck.

Sorry about the essay.

perfumedlife..yes he was smoking weed, but dc was a surprise and i wasnt going to have an abortionb as i have always wanted children and he did stop for a while when i was pregnant and when dc was born for the first 3 mnths then he went down hill again. i feel that ive made he go back on it for being moaning or changing the way i look? i really love so mayb i should lave and see what happens. thankyou allso much for the advice and i well use it thankyou

so he can quit then....if he came off it for a year??

nothing to do with way you look/moan etc....

i am close to both my parents and inlaws. im going to move out. but thenwhy should i this is my and babys home. He doesnt smoke anywhere near the home he goes out i have you know i may be a mug for letting him smoke weed but i wud never ever ever letit harm my baby ever. my mother in law is a social worker and is trying to help but has a dc of her own. i am only 22 so its all been very hard for me as i was at uni and dc was a surprise so i didnt plan it.im sorry i am a person that is against abortin but i am a fantastic mother and i care about children soo soo much so im going to leave dh. thankyu for making me take the last step.

bliss this isnt about you wholly finding reasons to ohh and ahhh and explain why your boyfriend is spliffhead

he doesn't value or love you and baby enough to stop

as hard as it is to contemplate he doesn't value you or baby above blow. he prioritises blow more than you or baby

i dont know the logistics of your situation eg money,accommodation etc go see a solicitor or CAB get some advice

and good luck

bliss I would say leave him. While he has an addiction it will always come first you and your baby will not. My x was a heavy dope smoker, we met at uni and I didn't take his smoking that seriously then. However it continued and continued our relationship seemed so fab in many other ways. He swore commitment we moved in together discussed marriage, kids. He swore dope would go when kids came along. Our 1st beautiful baby arrived, the dope got worse- I left. He did have access to our son and showed a lot of interest in him so was still on the scene. 2 years after our split he told me how he'd love a 2nd chance, how he regretted everything, would make it all good. He got it our son was just 3. Everything went well or so it seemed we got married 2 yrs later, the dope had gone or was v well hidden. I trusted him. We had 2 more children then a month ago I discovered he has been cheating on me so I also searched the house and found wee stashes of joints and marij. So I have left him again. Will never regret th 2nd chance he got as I have 3 beautiful sons but what other posters have said is true. Smokers will never be emotionally accessible to you and your dc. Trust me if he is an addict you will be so much better without him. You have your life in front of you don't give him any more of your time. You will be fine single parent families are as avlid and as wholesome, if not more than unhappy partnerships.
Good luck

There's also the option of changing the locks one evening while he's out and leaving all his things out on the street.... that way you don't leave, he does. After all, why should he continue to live there while you go through the inconvenience of moving your things and all the baby's things and being cramped in someone else's place?

Think of the weed as a girlfriend he's more into than he's into you.

same as Italian Lady

bliss, he will not quit if he has no reason to quit. while you and your DS are still there he sees no reaosn to quit, he has everything. if you leave and show him what he is losing by using drugs then it may be enough to convince him to quit. if it isn't enough then you aren't important to him and you are better off away from him. i speak from exprience.

So many wise people, I think it is wise to think of the weed as a girlfriend, he is more interested in than he is into you, also, it may make it easier for you!