To find out sex of baby and keep it to myself as DH doesnt want to know

[Whitethorn]

What do you think. I know I can keep it to myself and its number 2 so I really do want to find out. Is it dreadful deceit or am I entitled?

YABU, You will probably accidently let it slip one day and then upset your DH.If you do realy won't to know why don't you discus it with your DH and ask him if he minds you finding out.

It would ruin one of the best moments of the birth for me to know in advance tbh.

I don't see how you could keep it secret, surely if you knew you'd end up picking up a few gender specific items or slip up and say s/he at some point.

It's much bettr as a surprise but if you do find out it has to be both of you in agreement imo

i know couples who have done this and was tempted myself as dp initially didnt want to know, but he changed his mind.

i think its fine and if you can keep it a secret then do so :)

I would tell him you are going to find out and it's up to him if he doesn't want to know. I don't look back on my labour and dd's birth and think damn, if only we hadn't known she was a girl that would have been so much more fun. Who gives a curse about a surprise in the middle of all the goings on?

no, but the surprise is a fabulous treat after hours of hell and it's so much more fun phoning and telling people 'It's a girl/boy!'

Agree with what most on here have said ie fine to find out, but dodgy to hide the fact you know We found out sex of all our children at the scans, with DD1 DH and I found out and didn't tell anyone until after the birth (I wanted to make the big announcement!). We didn't let it slip to anyone (as far as I know!), so that aspect of it can be done. With the DTs we found out at 20 week scan and told everyone at 28wks when we were more confident of their survival (we also found out at 20wks that there was a good chance we'd lose them which obviously rather overshadowed it - they're fine now BTW)
good luck with whatever you do

YANBU but tell him you're finding out. I would want to know as I hate surprises and would like the advance warning to prepare myself before the birth (ASD, I'm not one of those people who only wants one gender!)

I find it weird your DH won't even look at the scans though, I understand why some people would really want to not know the gender just like would really want to know but I'd be very hurt if my DP (also doesn't want to know gender before birth) refused to even look at the scan pics.

Ifound out the sex of our third baby,my DH didn't want us to know,but I had an appointment that he couldn't attend so I just asked intending to keep it to myself,eventually I told my mum & bf and they kept it quiet.I admitted that I knew a couple of yrs ago and he didn't seem to mind but,my dd is now nearly 17 and I was really quite drunk when I finally told him :)