to think baby change cubicles are not there for extended mum-changing?

[Porcelain]

I go to a weekly baby swim session with DS who is 3 months old. He's the youngest there, there are 2 who are a bit bigger, and sitting unaided, the rest of the group are all toddlers who are walking confidently.

The swimming pool only has 3 cubicles in the change rooms with baby change tables. I am sure this is more than enough for standard swim session. I try to get there a bit early, so I can get in and out of the cubicle quickly, organise our stuff in the locker etc. I usually get out of the pool a bit early as DS has less staying power, and I try to be to be as quick as possible although I have to change myself in there, as there is nowhere else to put the baby! (no room for buggies and the floor is wet tiles)

Last week I came out early, but when I came out of the shower with DS, all 3 baby-change cubicles were occupied. I could see little feet on the floor (the doors are high, I wasn't lying on the floor stalking people, that would be wierd) and it was clear all 3 were occupied by mothers with toddlers. One was standing by the door, apparently waiting for his mother to get dressed.

Now I have never had a toddler, I don't know if there is some secret thing I don't understand. I can see that you might want to change their nappy on the table, and use the nappy bin, you might even want to dress them on the table I suppose (but isn't it easier with them standing?) I have no idea though, why it is necessary to occupy the cubicle beyond that when you know people with young babies are waiting. Me and DS, along with another mum and baby were waiting in wet towels getting cold. I ended up taking DS into a normal cubicle for a feed, and it took 15 minutes for the first of the todder mums to emerge. I'm so glad DS is such a milk monster as I doubt he would have had the patience otherwise.

I'm not really sure whether I should say something to the mums, or the pool staff. I was considering asking them if they could move a freestanding table from the communal change room (it's used by a school group at that time, so closed to the public) so that I could at least dry and dress the baby in the open area.

AIBU to think that the mothers of the older children could be using a standard cubicle, or at least dressing their child then moving to a standard cubicle?

Good tips KERALAI!

I have a toddler who is still in nappies, still bf and wriggles too much to dress standing up.

Being quick about your stuff is manners when any queue may form but I have no issue with parents of toddlers using these places- or indeed parents of older chidlren if they need a nappy changing (ds3 was wet until 5 and needed to use one).

Ah, the car seat, I hadn't thought of that, it usually stays in the car as it's bloody awkward with a 17lb baby in it, but that would work once he was dry and dressed. Awesome, thanks ladies.

The communal changing room would be so much better, (this pool has both) but like I said, it's booked out for a school group at that time. There is a playpen in the cubicle rooms too, but it's the other end of the room from the cubicles, with the shower area inbetween - is it PFB to not want to leave the baby in a pen unattended in a public place (the larger pool has an open session after the class) I don't know, I just try and do what seems right - I never really got the point of that one, unless you put your little one in while you washed your hands

i have 2 children age 3 and 7 and use those rooms, because its impossible to get us all in one little single one.

When I had DD2 swimming I would strip her off at side of showers, wrap her in towel after and change her in her buggy in the normal area tbh.
And YES YABVU

Swimming is a nightmare for all the reasons everyone mentions. So stressful. I use the buggy as a changing table or my lap and then strap her in and then get dressed myself with the cubicle door open.

KERALA is spot on. I have to say I have taken my DS swimming about three times in his three years. The cold, wet floors, struggling to dry me and him before one of us freezes to death, wet hair, anxiety about pool pooing. Yuck.

"BTW don't speak to the other mums at swimming about it. They will hate you......"

I thought as much, perhaps because the most contact with mums I have is on here . I have some anxiety ishoos, which I'm not going to get wangsty about on here, but beyond making an effort to smile and say hi and that sort of polite stuff I haven't really spoken to them much -too scary.

People take as long as they need to get changed in a cubicle. Some people have medical devices that need attention when changing and I think you ABU to expect people to be more understanding to your needs than their own when they have a small child themselves to look after.

Everyone likes to make the effort where they can to 'move along' and not hold things up but to actually consider making a complaint about the lady in the cubicle is over the top.

Patience and the ability to pick your fights will make your parenting life a lot less stressful.

zap, I don't need to, I came here to canvass opinion from people who know, not to have a fight, I'm happy to take the word of the consensus.

I would've used a 'baby changing room' when my DS was a toddler without a second thought because a toddler is still a baby. I have never seen a 'toddler changing room' so I assume this is because it is generally considered to be covered by the 'baby' label. my DS is 3.5 and so I would not use baby changing rooms but at the moment I only have one DC which makes life easier.

YABU. I haven't read all the responses so it's entirely possible someone has already said this, but- it all gets a lot more difficult once they are able to move around on their own.

When my son was your baby's age, I could (and did) easily change him just about anywhere.

Also, changing the baby/toddler in the changing room, then gathering up all the wet towels etc just to move to another cubicle and get changed myself would add a lot of time to the process. It's much easier to take the 2 minutes or whatever it takes to get changed yourself, then get everything together and get out.

I actually imagine the 'toddler feet waiting for mum' scenario was the toddler waiting for mum to clear up and get the suits/towels/etc together. I've been in one of those cubicles and it all does seem to take ages. My actual changing time is minimal by comparison to the rest of the process.

YAB a bit U but I think you realised that

but i completrely see where you are coming from, taking a small abby swimming is stressful. I would second or third the car seat idea, that or some rolled up towels. Just enjoy the fact you can put him down and he will stay where you put him i never realised that wa something to enjoy unitl it stopped happening

If the OP had an understanding of how tricky toddlers can be then I doubt she would have posted. However, she is a new mum and negotiating swimming pools/changing etc with little previous experience IS daunting, so I can see how she might think the more experienced mums might leave the baby change table cubicles free.

It does get easier OP. You'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about in a couple of months. Toddlers are trickier than babies, but you'll cope with that stage just like you're coping with this one.

Enjoy your swimming!

Change your baby on a towel it won't kill him.

A nappy change is a nappy change imvho.In fact I'd go as far to say it's far easier changing a baby than a large writhing toddler on a towel.I had 3 under 18 months when we went swimming all ended up being changed on a towel on the floor-they survived.

When I used to take DD to Water Babies I took a changing mat with me and just put her on it on the floor. No big deal.

When DD was little, before she could crawl and walk), I used to change and clothe her on my lap or the communal bench - I felt the family rooms, as they are called in our swimming pool, were needed by mums of toddlers more than me. When DD was a toddler in nappies, the rooms were a Godsend - it meant I could get us both changed without her bolting across a wet floor whilst I was naked running away. Once DD was around 2.5 and had been out of nappies for a while, we got changed in the communal area again - she was a little older and understood that she had to stay close by while mummy was getting dressed.

So, all in all, YABU - but I can see that is through lack of understanding, you will soon realise that the family rooms are far more important when you have mobile youngsters.

changing on your lap...

easiest way I found was to sit with your legs apart a bit to make a bigger lap, put baby flat on their back with their head on your left is assuming right handedness have their head hanging over your left thigh a bit and your arm across their chest going down the way - that should stop them escaping and it leaves your left hand free enough to grab things and hold legs up by ankles and your right hand free completely

you can do the nappy then - which is the hardest bit

but then if he's 3 months he's not likely to try to escape? so you should have two hands free anyway?

Well to be honest I am much worse than this! I regularly go in and lock myself in the baby changing/feeding toilet areas of both my local supermarket and the public toilets in town despite my child being 5.

Why? Well I just love having the whole room PLUS a little toilet cubicle so I may have a dump in peace without everyone hearing/smelling and taking offence.

Does this make me a terrible person?

I'm going to say YANBU. I take DS1 (4) and DS2 (2) swimming on my own. We go into one of these big rooms with the changing unit for me to get changed - they sit in their hooded towels and eat an apple or something. Then as soon as I am done we move out into the communal area and I get the toddler and 4 year old ready out there to free up the space. There are only 3 where I am too, and they are so in demand.

I would have thought that a baby swim session was mostly about making friends and getting along. You're not getting of to a good start. Big cubicles will get used by parents with small children - whatever is says on the door, that's life.

I hated taking dcs to the pool when they were babies. Why make life more difficult - try something else. Im sure a 3 month old is not enjoying it as much as a toddler. You'll look back on this when your little one is older, and hopefully realise you are being a bit selfish and daft.