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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that, despite being a full time working mother myself..

60 replies

Catnao · 29/11/2010 19:28

..and knowing that it is hard to get time off work, I do not want to teach children who come in to school white as a sheet and who start puking by 9.30. Having caught rotavirus and been off for a week last week,most of which was spent moaning and wishing ANYTHING could stop the pain and indignity, I DO NOT want to go through that again.

OP posts:

onceamai · 30/11/2010 18:22

I've always thought that policy was wrong Tethersend - it punishes children for being ill.

Blu · 30/11/2010 18:32

"I think it's crap that the workplace is so fucking un-family, un-women friendly in the C21. It's so depressing that this was the version of the future we ended up with: parents working stupid hours, unable to take time off, childless and en-childed pitted against each other, in a spin if a child is ill .... and so much more.'

great post Animula."

Except why 'un-woman freindly'? Why, like many other posts on this thread, is it assumed that it is mothers who need flexible working time to look after sick kids?

As a working parent and a boss I am VERY supportive of flexible time to meet family needs, except when it is my organisation, never the father's employer, that makes all the adjustments. It won't change until MEN start to get phoned as first contact when a child needs picking up early from school, when MEN start calling in to say 'sorry, child ill..'.

magicmummy1 · 30/11/2010 19:26

Another F/T working mum here, and I agree, it's totally irresponsible and inconsiderate to send children into school when they're not well. If I need to take time off work to look after dd, then my boss will just have to accept that - and fortunately, he does!

However, when my dd was off with a vomitting bug the other week, it was DH that stayed home with her, as I'd already had a few days off with the same bug myself. And as a boss, I have had male employees phone in to say that they're staying home with sick children etc, so maybe things are changing, Blu!

Lara2 · 30/11/2010 20:00

I've been a teacher for 23 years and tbh, I've caught relatively little off the plague rats in that time. However, my life is made a nightmare by parents who insist on sending patently I'll children to school because they have to go shopping, or "I know they're not 100%, but they wanted to come" !!!!!!! WTF???? These are 4 and 5 year olds! Sorry, who makes the decisions in these families???? It's so unfair on the children, it's so awful being at school when all you want to do is curl up somewhere warm and have a cuddle from someone you love.

Ilythia · 30/11/2010 20:16

The 100% thing was a complete surprise to me until I came across it in school this year.
The school has a form prize for best form attendance eveyr month as well as a draw for the best attendance and merits for 100%.
So the poor child who has an unavoidable broken wrist and has to go to fracture clinic gets penalised for no reason. Not fair.

Blu · 30/11/2010 21:01

In the summer of 2009 - the one when Swine Flu was rampant - a parent in DS's class sent her child to school with a raging temperature and sore throat so that he wouldn't lose his attendance certificate for an absence in the very last week of term.
It's a mixed message, isn't it? Stay off for 48 hours after D&V, but get a prize fo coming to school...

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 30/11/2010 21:33

very mixed message but really it's not even the school behind it (certainly not the teachers) but the inspectorates and lea's who assess schools by their attendance rates.

madness.

elvislives · 30/11/2010 22:02

Our nursery has a 48 hour exclusion after D&V and it is strictly enforced.

The last 2 times DD has been ill she has been fine when we left the house, only to throw up violently in the car as we arrive at nursery. So it is entirely possible that the child who is the subject of the OP seemed perfectly well when the parent left him/her at school.

(I was really lucky that grandma was (a) in and (b) happy to have DD so I was able to go in to work and sort out the next day's leave)

tethersjinglebellend · 01/12/2010 12:55

Well said, Santa.

onceamai · 02/12/2010 11:03

It's really difficult for employers too. I would always be flexible to bend over backwards for people whose children are ill vis a vis leave - allowing them to work from home, make up the time and in exceptional circs have up to the allowed number of paid days off (5 with us) and occasionally more, ie, child seriously ill.

Where it gets difficult is that some parents are always ready to start at 8.55, do the little extra when needed and often without being asked and are very flexible. They are the ones who don't seem to have to take too much time off and who have back up arrangements in place. The difficulties arise in relation to staff who have very high absence rates anyway (for themselves), who are often late and who will do no more than the absolute minimum. For them quite honestly I'm not so minded to be flexible over childcare and they are the ones who seem to need time off for endless visits to doctors, dentists, meeting at the school, etc. But I guess they are the same ones who take the mick at school as well as at work.

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