she took 'my' name

[Emma876]

My good friend had a baby recently and chose the same name as i would want for my baby. We didn't even discuss it, so she didn't 'steal' it. I wouldn't use this name now because other people would think i'd copied her and she wouldn't be too keen either....i just love the name...

I know i'm being unreasonable but i just don't seem to be able to get over it....some nice advice on how to get over it would be helpful...or more likely i'm being a brat and need a good kick in the pants!

A good friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as me. The day she gave birth (but before she was in labour) she asked me what I would call my baby if it was a girl. I told her and told her I had loved the name for 7 years. That night she had a girl and gave her that name. I was stunned!
My dd was born 2 months later and we gave her a different name - the one top of my DH list. I totally love her name (and its meaning) and I am glad we had to change our minds. I have never felt the same about my friend though.

I had a name in my for my second child, who even before I was pregnant was fairly sure would be another boy. Anyway SIL had a boy before mine was born and chose a name only two letters different from my choice (out of a six-letter name) - so would have been too similar, another boy, only a few months apart, and in a close family.

So I do feel like she 'nicked' my name in a way. We came up with another name while I was in labour, and it is SO him, and the name we had wanted just wouldn't have fitted.

All's well that ends well..

Masterful manipulation on your friend's part droves!

I would n't worry about. Wait til you see your baby then decide. Like others have said, it could be a different sex, or just LOOK like a different name.

My DH named dd whilst I was coming round from GA. It was from the "list". He could have called her Kevin and I wouldn't have cared at that point

Italianlady tbh no , i didnt see it comming.

I am was a bit thick .

Nobody has dibs on a name - I say call your child what you like.

I have multiple cousins/ aunties with the same names, it was considered normal a couple of generations ago to give "family" names. They are all their "own" person and nobody's clone.

I can't see why you still can't use it. The probably will not be friends for life.

yabu churlish,dont lose a friend over this.no one has dibs on a name

My brother's baby was born a few months before dd2. When they told us his name our jaws dropped as it was the one we'd got firmly in mind for dd2. It was such an unlikely thing - unusual unisex name, never discussed between the families.

Once we'd got over the surprise and openly cussed them (in jest of course) for making our lives difficult and having to start over again, we picked another name. No biggy.

I'm glad no-one mentioned the name before it got used, otherwise we'd have had to come to blows over it!

A friend of mine had just had her second DC when I was newly pregnant with my second DC - and she'd named him the name I was going to choose if mine was a boy. Didn't bother me, I just told her 'funny - if this one is a boy we'll be calling him the same name as your DS'. She was fine with it. And we had another girl.

my MIL has a brother in canada who she speaks to about once every decade. they gave their daughter the same first and second name as her. they then proceeded to give their next daughter the same name as my SIL. that is just weird

i think you are being irrational more than unreasonable but you still feel what you feel. there is a character on cbeebees with my DDs name and im ashamed to say i hate that.

This happened to me with SIL. She unknowingly chose "my" name for her dd 3 months before I had ds4. It did hurt a lot as I'd always wanted a dd and felt like she got my dd, name and all! But like others have said no-one owns a name and as it is highly unlikely I will have another baby and even more unlikely that if I did, it would be a dd given my track recore, well at least one of us got to use the name!
And I got to call ds4 a lovely name, which I hadn't thought of when I had the first three but now it's my favourite name of all four!

Use it if you still like it. You probably won't even see this woman this time next year.

YANBU I get pissed off when everyone uses my son's name. Wish people would be more original in their choices.

yanbu ,my sil took my name and even though i love her and am not even planning to have more dc i still felt a bit peed off like hey thats my name! , it wouldnt stop me using it if i had another dc though

It's different when the children are years apart. I have the shorter, anglicised version of one of my cousin's names, which isn't actually her first name just the one she uses, and we have the same surname. We now use the same abbreviation although during my childhood I was known by a different one I've never liked. But she's more than 10 years older than me so it doesn't matter so much.

I got irrationally annoyed that I couldn't use one of my favourite names because it's the same as one of our friend's DC round here, my DSis put a marker down on another favourite and I've just been put off my third choice for a girl by teaching a horrible one this year...so now I'm forcing DH to make lists and lists!

YANBU at all to feel this way, but you would BU to do or say anything!

What's the name, OP? Come on, Fess up. You don't expect to use it now, anyway, right?

I have 2 friends with the same name as me, my name was very popular in the 1950's when I was born. I also have several male cousins who were named after the same person, and my other cousin and I both named our sons the same name. Same situation as yourself. When her ds was born a few months before mine, and I heard what his name was, I called her mother and asked her what to do...she said she was sure her dd wouldn't mind. And she didn't. The boys have only met a few times as we lived in different countries as they grew up, and are not fazed at all having the same name.
Just tell your freind. Perhaps your 2 dc will be bff and love having the same names!

"friend"

See what you feel to call your baby when you see him/her and if you really think it is a suitable name, use it. How close (distance) are you from friend? Do you see them so often that it will be confusing?

I apparently "stole" an aquaintance boy's name. She lives in a different country and her baby turned up to be a girl but every time I see her she mentions that We "stole" her name, and not in a "we would have called our son like that too" way but they were really cross that "we did that to them and how could we". BTW I had no idea before DS was born that she even liked the name as we had never talked about the subject.Why she was so angry I never understood and I slowly let the friendship die.

Oh FGS just use it! Nobody owns a name!

My friend and I are both expecting little girls a week apart. DH and I picked out our girls name before I was pg. When my friend had her 20 week scan she sent a text announcing that she was having a girl called x, the same name we have chosen. She didn't know, we must just both have good taste but we just had a laugh about it and we're still both going to use it! Our little girl will probably be known by the shortened version of the name.

I suppose my situation is a little different, in that if I give birth first, I won't look like I'm copying but I also have another friend who is pg (due 6 weeks after me) and she has said that she loves my DD1's name. My DD is 3 and I really don't mind if she ends up using it! If anything I'm flattered that my DD hasn't put her off the name and she likes my DD enough to be considering it .