AIBU for thinking that if you choose to send your child to a school with ridiculously short terms, you shouldn't then complain about the length of the holidays?

[violethill]

OK, here's the background.
A former colleague of mine has a dd, nearly 12, whose school term finishes for Christmas on December 10th. (This woman worked with me several years ago, then moved into a different area to work -we're both in teaching)

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that the school my friend put her dd in has terms which don't match with the parents - dad is a teacher too. They obviously realised that when they signed up, but every time I've chatted to my friend either on facebook or phone, she brings up the subject of the school holidays, and what a pain it is, and how she's really caught in the middle because she doesn't want to leave her dd all day at age 11, but she's too old for childcare etc etc....

Last night she phoned to arrange a Christmas meet, and started complaining again, not only moaning about Christmas, but what a pain it'll be at easter and summer.

At which point I said, well, there was a choice here, didn't you think about all this before signing her up. (BTW this isn't a state/private debate - the school is actually state, as it's an Academy but more like a private school in the way it runs, including private school-style short terms.) It's not their nearest local school, so they clearly went out of their way to choose if for their dd and now just seem to moan about it!

I guess it could well have been the best school for their dd. Though the terms are a pain they maybe thought that they would have to suffer that in order for their dd to go to the best school for her. Doesn't mean they can't moan and is it really any skin off your nose if they do? Its not as if they're asking you to have her for the holidays. It probably is a real pain for them.

Well I couldn't have her anyway as I'll be at work!

I was just pretty amazed that an intelligent and sensible woman could react as if fate has conspired to make life difficult for her!

Are they dropping hints for you to have her do you think?

Do you have DC at school yet yourself? If so, was term dates top of your list of priorities when you chose the school? For most parents, I suspect it would be a long way down their list of priorities!

Oops x post

So, she's not dropping hints. Instead you have a friend who for whatever reason has something in her life that's a right pain in the bum for her. Rather than being a friend and lending a sympathetic ear you're on here bitching about her. Do you actually like her?

You could say same for any parent who complins about having to cover school holidays and INSET days though, not just those with shorter terms.

When you make the choice to be a parent then you should realise that school will be coming up a few years later. Most of us have been to school. We know the deal with holidays.

Yet how many times do we have threads with peope complaining about holiday cover?

A MumINScotland - I have 3 children, all teenagers, so know very well about the logistics and expense of childcare for preschoolers, plus holiday care for when they were on school holiday and I was working! I wouldn't consider term dates as top of the list of priorities when looking at schools - but childcare is always one of the factors when you're a working parent isn't it?

Viva - she was a very close colleague, we worked together for about 6 years in Devon, then she moved away. We keep in close touch. I do like her. I just find this behaviour odd. Moaning that it's a pain just the once - fine. But she brings it up every time we chat.

Yanbu

what a thing to moan about! Especially if they're teachers

I guess moaning about it every time is a bit odd. Maybe she has a boring life and nothing else to talk about.

Still I'd be pretty pissed off if DD's school broke up on Dec 10th.

Me too - bloody ridiculous!

state school teacher with inependant school kids then?

teachers (OBSCENE GENERALISATION TIME HERE) tend to believe that they alone amongst humanity are particularly cursed. their job is the hardest, most stressful, least valued blah blah blah. Teachers wil generally find something to complain about - in this case it is that their holiday does no match their chilrens. well, welcome to the world experiened by those workers that only get 4 weeks a year off...

my grandparents, greatgrandparents, father, sister, brother and myself have all done tachig of sorts at one time...

Let's hope their spelling was better then!

Maybe she's embarrassed / uncomfortable because she doesn't send her kids to their nearest school and she might get stick about this from her / dh's colleagues. Maybe she's got into the habit of pre-emptive moaning to stave off accusations of smuggness or stick from other teachers.

I don't think that teachers believe their job is the most stressful; just that they react when told that they: 1 have an easy time of it; 2. they work in a child -friendly job.

Neither is true. Nor is it true of most other work.

The OPs friends knew what they were taking on when they sent their DC to that school, so they should suck it up. Or maybe they didn't read the small print :o

YANBU - school should work for the whole family, not just the child (unless there are special circumstances).

God, I always moan about my children's school to my best friend, it's our fave topic, saves me actually going in and complaining about something.

my spelling is excellent. my keyboard is, however, fucked.

Strange keyboard that manages to type the letter 'e' twice in 'independent', yet manages to type 'a' the third time