to not let my child get frost bite?

[InkyStamp]

Clearly I am not! But my son thinks I am.

It is frigging -3 here (with wind chill) and they want to play in the snow. Fine, lets get the housework done and we will go out.

We rug up in coats, hats, and then come the gloves...Cue much whining, shouting, crying that he wants to wear his (thin cotton) wool ones. I explain that they will get wet, it is windy and he will freeze his fingers. Explain about frost bite. Offer waterproof gloves. These are apparently not acceptable. He is unwilling to tell me why. Round we go in circles, him ending up in tears after I told him he would not go out without them on. I dither a few times about whether we will go out, threaten not to and he accepts the gloves. I put one on and am in the process of putting the second on and the first words out of his mouth are 'when can I take them off?' with a sob.

We are not playing in the snow today. I refuse to put up with a tantrum because of gloves, and I am certainly not going to all the trouble of rugging up three children including a baby, only for him to stand there whining the whole time that his fingers are cold.

I HATE that you try and do something fun only for them to whine at you. Totally makes you wonder what the point is.

(I do feel a bit bad about DS 2 who I said could go out late when DH comes home,,but the snow seems to be melting :( - I will have to think of another treat for him. Any ideas?)

Grrrrrrrrrrr. Pissed off now. I am going to try and think of something to do now that is fun and will change the mood but I honestly cant be bothered. But I will. Because that is what I am 'supposed' to do to be a good mum. And because it is not fair that one 5 yr olds stroppiness ruins the weekend for everyone.

I think you are battling this all wrong. My technique would be to let DS go out in what he chooses, but take warmer/waterproof gloves and hat etc with me. When he's standing in the cold outside he soon puts them on.

If they choose not to put them on, they suffer from being cold. I doubt they would get frostbite though.

Fair points. Taking them with us is a good idea.

I am so dumb. I should have thought of that. :(

God I am crap!

I know he wont actually get frostbite, but i was worried about him being cold and thought it was my job to prevent it.

It's your job to provide the means for him to stay warm and give the advice. It's up to him whether he chooses to take that advice.

FWIW, my 3 yo wont wear any warm weather gear but he runs around so much that he honestly doesn't get cold. Yesterday he was wearing a long sleeve jumper and sweatpants. No coat, no gloves, no hat - and his hands were warm. It's just me who freezes.

I would not have made an issue of it, just taken him out without and handed them over when he got cold.

What everyone else has said.

Now rug up (I have never heard that expression but will adopt it immediately ) and get out there before it melts.

And when they get too cold, fill some containers with snow, put down some towels and let them play with it on the kitchen floor - add playmobil, lego or whatever.

Ok. Will rug up again () and try again after I have hung up the washing that I THREW in the machine!

Wish me luck. I hate hate hate whining!

I think you did the right thing. Aside from freezing fingers not really warming up properly even if you add suitable gloves later (and so still potentially ruining it for everyone), what you essentially had here was a child disobeying clear instructions. Once the disobedience starts, it needs to be dealt with (and dress properly or don't go is a simple cause/effect ulimatum). What do you want your child's behaviour to look like in the long run?

You advise your 3 YO to do things camdancer and it's up to him whether he does it or not?

For a really younger DC if we were going out in the snow they'd have their gloves etc on. After asking them once I'd tell them to do what I'd asked, defo no advice involved for a 3 YO who will have no clue how cold it can get outside and how much it hurts when your hands warm up again.

Taking the gloves out with you is just saying if you don't do what I've asked it's OK because I'll accomodate you.

I can see your point but I have a ds 8 who has NEVER worn gloves and probably never will, i take out those little hand warmer things that he will put in his pockets for him to have a short warm up. He doesn't tolerate anything on his hands, even a plaster. He does however love the thought of gloves and has several pairs that he promises to wear and will for the first ten minutes after purchase but rarely again. .

I do know the reason for this though and it is all linked to his learning disability so we have to just go with it, and have some quick one liners ready for the public who think they know best!

We're going out later, I'll try not to tut in my head when I see cold little fingers morethan

When dd was 4 and under I would have taken gloves with me in my bag. Bigger items like wearing a coat are always non-negotiable if it's cold. Now she's 4 and a half I insist on gloves when it's freezing and snowy and we're going to be out for some time.

My dd is very resistant to change, causes problems when she outgrows things like shoes, boots, coats and so on, but with a bit of encouragement and lots of ignoring it works out okay. But I have been known to lose it with her - which for me means raising my voice

thanks agentzigzag, much appreciated .