To be irritated that exH is flirting with ex sil on FB?

[thelibster]

OK, so I know that nothing is going on because Ex sil (used to be married to my brother) is in a new relationship and very "loved up" and I really don't care what Ex H gets up to in his private life, but he is friends with our DC and they are friends with many other members of my family (cousins, aunts, uncles etc.) and EX H is making stupid, schoolboy references to parts of female anatomy etc and it just looks Ewww! Even though we are separated and getting divorced I still feel embarrassed. I mean we were married for 31 years and he's 52 years old fgs!

Let him look like a sad prat. It's his look-out.

Yes. He's your ex. If he looks ridiculous it doesn't reflect on you in any way.

Let people laugh and cringe at him!

Or if he is putting graphic things where your children can see them, ask him to remember that his children are viewing his page, so if he wouldn't say it to them in person, he shouldn't say it on facebook where they can see it.

oh god it's his age....I remember my dad going through this about 19 years ago. He was 47 when he split up from my mum and just went into supercreep mode over night. It's sort of like they've forgotten they aren't 25 any more. He will get over it , Dad is now 66 and alhough still an outrageous flirt has got through the embarrassing stage! At the end of the day he is the only one looking a prat, just ignore it.

badfairy Yes, he's been in "supercreep" mode for a good few years now. It's just it brings back memories of embarrassing situations in the very recent past that's all (we've only been split for 5 months). I know I should ignore it really and that I am BU. I suppose it's just that, after 31 years, (I've been involved with him since I was 15 years old) it's taking time for me to get out of "couple mode". Not helped by the fact that he still behaves like that to me too when we're together. shock] (He's moved 100 miles away and when there were problems with seeing DD1 at half term because she was involved in a theatre production near here, he came up to stay for the week and was STILL grabbing me and making lewd suggestions, it doesn't help!) I shall make enormous efforts to rise above it!

Eeeeeeewwwwwww why don't you teke him off your facebook?

my gosh thelibster - you were married a long, long time and you've been split up for a comparitively short time. YANBU, of course, it must all be still very strange and new for you and his behaviour is more than a little icky. I think fannybaws is right, either de-friend him or take him off your newsfeed so you don't have to see everything he gets up to on there.

He's not on my fb but I am friends with my ex sil and he constantly comments on her status. I don't particularly want to take her off my newsfeed, but I guess I'll have to if it carries on!

You could block him, so you couldn't read his responses to her status updates, too. I think

Sod what you are reading (which admittedly is rank and he should know better), but he needs you to tell him that in no uncertain terms he either acts like your DC's DAD and not some pervy letch or he tells them why they can no longer be facebook friends with their Dad & the ex SIL.

However, because of this type of thing - there is NO WAY I would let my kids have a Facebook account until I was happy for them to read this kind of thing.

You should take yourself off facebook and save yourself from it: the firting, the temptation to look up anything to do with an ex, the waste of your time, etc etc etc.

jessie ah, thank you for that I have now blocked him (I wasn't aware I could do that, I only really use fb to keep in touch with my two younger DC who are away at school.

ChippingIn I hear what you say but my DC are too old to dictate to in that way (you have to be at least 13 to have a fb account) Nor would I dream of trying to forbid them to be friends with him on fb as he would quickly turn this into me trying to drive a wedge between them, which I would never do for their sake rather than his.

If they are on facebook then your children are probably old enough to say 'ewww, Dad, you do know we can read this right you sad old letch'

If anyone else sees and thinks he is a sad old letch then, well, he's your ex and you can point that out to them.

AphraBen It was coming up on my newsfeed every time he commented on my sil's status but I have now "blocked" him so shouldn't see any more hopefully. He is not on my friends list, nor do I "look anything to do with him". I don't see why I should delete my fb account and not be able to interact with my DC and other members of my family just because he is a twit! I deleted all his family (apart from our DC of course) when he left and I just wish he would have the decency to do the same with my family.

Trillian One of my DC has said as much to me, ( I just said, "Um really? Oh dear) I don't know what the other two think and would never ask. I make a point of trying not to talk about their father with them beyond the necessary, ie "What day are you going to daddy's? Do you need a lift all/part way? What day are you coming back here?" etc. I don't think it's fair. I doubt whether any of them would actually say anything to him though. He's not one to take any kind of criticism lightly!