helping out a friend

[pinkglitter]

well I have a lady who lives down the road from me & her little one goes to the same school as mine - she recently went back to work & I said I wouldn't mind picking her up.
I have got to the the point I am fed up with it now. the little one never says thanks when I have dropped her off home.
I have to go out of my way to pick the child up & take her to her mums work which is 10 minutes out of my way & now its getting colder I want to go straight home, or if I drop her home I have to wait until someone is home & I get home @ 3;40pm and have to then go back out to drop her home. Can I be bad & say pick her up from mine or nothing.

Any suggestions?

How old is her little one? Depending on her age, it's a bit harsh to be cross that she forgets to say thank you without her mum there to prompt her.

Having siad that, I think that it's totally acceptable to say that's it's becoming too much to do the school run now at all...or, if you're happy to, offer to at least take her to yours until mum's ready to pick her up.

I think that sounds entirely reasonable. You are doing her a favour, so it's absolutely reasonable to say you'll take her back to your house.

Why doesn't she use a childminder? Did you offer to do this or did she ask?
It's not suprising you don't want to do it, it is freezing out there as it is I am a childminder and do get paid and being out in the cold, collecting and dropping off children is part of my job but I can see why you wouldn't want to do it if you're not being paid for it and not even getting a word of thanks either!

Does the mum give you any petrol money or anything? It does rather sound like she's taken advantage a little here...
Maybe get her to pick her DC up from yours but say you'll do her some tea, type of thing, and mum'll pick her up later, on her way back from work.
Or ... maybe contact your nearest Children's Centre, they usually have Childminder's groups, they could point her in the direction of a good one just for those days when she can't pick her DC up herself.
If you back out now you'll seem like a right cow and she'll be forever giving you daggers at the school gates.

Yanbu

not sure why you are dropping the child off. Surely they should be collecting her to save you any further inconvenience.

YANBU

no i offered - no money has been offered by the mother.

I have no idea why she has got a Childminder by - now - oh yes _because I will do it for free !

like I said her work & aunties house & are not on my way home. i feel that i am being taken for a mug now. :(

I think they are taking advantage. At the very least the mum ought to be collecting the child from your house. I also think she should be paying you. Time for you to put a stop to this, I think. You could invent some after school activities that prevent you from collecting her child.

Tbh though, I think you should have thought it through before offering as resentment was bound to build up after a while if the mother didn't offer to pay you and is taking your help for granted.

It's ok frm time to time but to expect it every day is too much. I'd make a few excuses. Appointments etc.

Did you offer to do it until she got a childminder, or just offer to do it? Maybe she thinks it is a permanent arrangement?
Anyways, nothing wrong with you telling her you would like to take her to your house as it is getting to be a bit of a pain going out of your way.

Don't use the words "bit of a pain" though. Just you find it is inconvenient you have realized.

Yes, if you offered, you can't then really start to resent it without at least saying something!

Sorry but you offered in the first place.

YANBU to ask if the mother can collect the girl from yours, that seems more than fair to save you either going out of your way or having to go back out again, but YABU for expecting a little girl to say thank you everytime. Children don't exactly think like adults.