To think there'd be a higher proportion of happy people at Christmas if everyone stopped in their own homes and did their own thing?

[AgentZigzag]

Yeah yeah, Christmas is the season to be jolly with others, sharing, partying, pleasantries etc, but I think there would be a higher proportion of people happy if we just fucked everyone else off on the 'big day' and stopped at home with our immediate families doing not much.

Of course you might enjoy spending your time with your nearest and dearest family and friends, but I'm sure if this is the case you wouldn't mind letting the norm do an about turn so everyone else can stop pretending they're having a good time with whinging/farting PIL/Mums and Dads/DSis/DB/SIL/BIL/BILs nerdy train spotting convos?

Get up with your own DC, open your pressies when you want, mong out all day in comfy clothes and your fave tipple/munchies, leisurely ply DH/DP with alcohol whilst he's cooking, snooze after dinner, bed after a couple of crappy films - what more could you want?

I often think it would be great to host a big family party but the size of military married quarters doesn't allow it, nor does the distance we live from other family members

'The trick is to actually like your family and enjoy their company'

Ahhhh, that's where I'm going wrong.

surprised you haven't been crucified for your use of the word 'mong' tbh...

I'm not using the word mong directed at someone, as in 'he was a right mong' I'm using mong out, meaning to relax Jareth.

And I have apologised if I've unintentionally offended anyone.

no, I know :)

(I used it once on MN and got slaughtered for it, but I was using it directed at myself, so suppose that's different)

but your use of the word is based on the offensive word.

In our younger days we were happy to spend Christmas on our own or with other, child free friends. But now we have DS and the Ps and PILs are getting on we see the importance of getting the family together for special occasions.

This year we are hosting all the GPs, and a few other members of extended family. I would hate to think of the GPs each spending Christmas on their own.

dosunt mong refer to when you are high and just monging out watching tv you cant understand anyway?

Not in my head baroquin, it might be used in some parts of the country with an intended link to be offensive about people with a disability or who have SN, but not where I live.

I've never heard anyone use just the word mong on it's own, but everyone says mong out as a description of being relaxed.

I can only apologise for a third time for any unintended offence the use of the word has caused.

but you've not said it in your head - you've put it on a forum.

No, I've not said mong on a thread baroquin, I've said mong out, any connection between mong out and mong is not coming from me.

sorry AZ

Don't be daft Jareth

to get back to the subject of the OP, if you could only develop an interest in train spotting, Agent, you would have a great time at Xmas, ignoring everyone else and sitting in a corner with your nerdy BIL finishing off the selection packs and discussing rolling stock.
You are simply not making the effort.

YANBU AZ, that's exactly what we do.

I think your idea sounds lovely.
My mum had the idea of all of us having lunch in our own homes and then congregating at mine after lunch. Great, I thought. I will get to swerve having MIL and her new bloke ensconced in my house for most of the day. Now my bloody mother has changed her mind.

I love my family but don't want to be in a position of having MIL/new man here for the day, just because my mum is!

Being home on our own would solve all this!

Oh I always want to host a lovely xmas lunch for parents and in laws.

It's the just the fact that everyone comes every year. For days and days that gets tiresome.

My dream is to spend Christmas Eve with just us chickens. Wake up on Xmas morning and open gifts without being filmed.
Cook lunch in peace with glass of something cold and bubbly.
Greet guests around noon for drinks and nibbles before lunch.
Wave guests away at the door around Midnight.
Bliss.

YANBU.

ZigZag

I've thought a lot about your post, and although I do not think that you are being unreasonable, I do think that you are perhaps wrong...

There would be a higher proportion of happier people at Christmas if:

*Everyone had the whole 3 days - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day off work
*FIL drove to collect you to take you to thier house rather than poor DH having to drive and complain the entire way
*People stopped buying presents etc that they cannot afford and spend the entire following year paying off debt
*Parents and grandparents could reach a compromise that the little tacky, yet essential, chocolate Christmas tree decorations CAN be eaten before dinner is ready

That is all that I can think of at the moment... I would of course have rather had a chaffeur arrive at your door to take you to said PIL's house, but that conflicted with my "everybody has the day off" rule So a lift with FIL - so long as he doesn't drive at 20 miles an hour was the best compromise...

Sounds rather dull to me. I enjoy the hustle and bustle and enjoyment of it all. I also enjoy staying at my parents house, where everyone fusses over me and DD and I barely need to lift a finger!

I'm a single parent to one DD so Christmas would be pretty lonely and boring if we just stayed at home on our own.

Boxing Day is for visiting traditionally here.

You see loads of folk walking about going visiting.

Just for Christmas day muminthecity, dull sounds just fine for me/us.

We've done the alternate PIL/my parents for the day and that put us right off, we eventually went away just after Christmas to break the cycle, best thing we ever did...for us, granted it's not for everyone though.

My mum is a great believer in children being in their own homes for christmas so every year we had christmas at home (mum was a lp) but my nan came over at some point during the day (she used to live over the road).

When my ex and I moved into our own place with ds and dd my mum used to insist we had christmas at home and she would visit either boxing day or the day after, on christmas day she would spend it with my now stepfather. They've been going away for the last 4/5 years.

My ex and I have been split for over 10 years now. For the last 8/9 of them the kids have gone to exes between 12/1 to 5/6 in which time I've been on my own, doesn't bother me, I enjoy the time to do what I want to do.

I think people would be happier by being at home IF they want to - have read so many threads about manipulative parents/ILs barging in, that makes me sad.

Since moving away we have had Xmas just us 4, and it's great - totally amicable decision so nobody is offended. We will just chill out, watch tv and play games (we are going to make a point of getting a new board game every year) and eat whatever food we want - something indulgent but not the whole turkey thing.

Boxing day is when my parents and nan come up, and we have the big Xmas dinner then instead.

DH's DCs spend Xmas at their house with their mum so they come to us at another point during the holidays - so we get 3 xmases every year!