What was the best thing you did to bond with your baby?

[NordicPrincess]

What things have you/do you do with your child or baby that have bonded you best?

it was bathing with my son up until age 4, now hes preferring to bath alone.

My daughter it was breastfeeding

any others?

Some women do struggle to bond with their baby, I did.

Tbh, although I did most of things people have listed, breastfeeding, co sleeping, looking into his eyes, singing etc I always felt I was doing those things because I knew they were the right things to do. I felt like a terrible mother because I didn't feel the overwhelming love I thought I should feel.

Baby massage was different. It was the first time I was in room full of other mothers and their babies.

It gave me the chance to see I wasn't really any different from everyone else, we were all knackered and struggling a bit. Plus I could compare my Ds to all the babies and I realised just how special he really was

So really, it wasn't probably the massage bit, it was getting out and seeing that I wasn't doing bad after all.

napping with DS was the loveliest thing, especially when he got big enough for proper cuddled up sleeping (no fears of squishing his face or anything!) I co-slept for 4 months but that was always a bit less enjoyable than naps, maybe because you get 'sleep pressure' and 'sleep anxiety' at night whereas naps feel like stolen extra sleep :)

I know you're right Alpine that not everyone has the same feelings for their babies, and they're quite free to start a thread about how they feel.

This OP has started this thread about all the lovely things that make people feel very close to their baby, it's not a crappy topic and I don't think it was started to make anyone feel bad.

massagewith oil after her bath. Sleepingi n the same room I think that was probably the biggest part of it.

thats exactly what it was meant to be agentzigzag

Honest to god? Whats the best thing I did to bond with my baby - STOP breastfeeding.

The PND had kicked in, I had been up four ays and nights solid, had one stint in A&E with him at four days old and enough was enoygh. Every time i heard him move or murmer my heart sank. I sat sobbing everytime I fed him.

Remove the BF and I was a different woman, and as a consequence, a different mother. We chatted, we played, we cuddled. It was fab.

Bets decision I ever made.

I bonded much more quickly with DD as she was my 2nd. Breastfeeding went perfectly from the moment she was born, I was so much more relaxed and confident, and far less obsessed with following the rules and not making a rod for my own back. If only I'd known what I know now with DS.

I loved him from the off, of course, but I'd say it was about 3 months before we properly bonded.

I think it was when dd started to smile that I felt I had bonded. Cannot remember how long that took though (wasn't really an instanteous thing with me)

Altinkim - for some people though, it isnt (though I appreciate you are talking about personal experience rather then saying 'it shoukd be instant'). I think that is why some concerns have been raised about this thread.

Exactly - for a lot of people a proper connection isn't instant, and that can be difficult to accept and cope with if you've been lead to believe that it should be instant.

Breastfeeding, and watching her sleep.
She was so beautiful, doing those funny sulky faces as though she were having a bad dream.
Being the one who could make her smile the most.
And when I went to her in the early morning when she woke and she would do the most amazing, whole face light up smile.

Fail to see what concerns people about such an inoffensive thread. How odd

I think it is such a strange term. I don't think you have to do anything-I felt bonded before they were born.

With DD I went back to uni full time when she was 12 months, when DS came along I was a sahm and I think just spending that extra amount of time with him helped us bond better in comparision to me and DD. I don't think it's the activity you are doing rather than just the fact you are spending time together that counts.

breast feeding
co-sleeping
the long walks we used to go in his lovely big bouncy carrycot pram (god, i loved that pram!)

Co-sleeping, lots of skin to skin and letting her have naps during the day laying on me. I understand the idea of bonding which might be because following emcs the bastard anaesthesiologist wouldn't let us have skin to skin so it was a while before we really managed to have a proper cuddle and I feel like we had to work to bond. We're completely there now though. :)

Agree with 5 dollarshake - will be stressing much less with #2 - won't be getting him/her weighedfor a start!

baby wearing

skin to skin contact

co-sleeping until 5yrs old

breast feeding on demand until 2

and this was all after 3 weeks in ScBU in incubator due to being prem.

I bonded with my DD straight away when they first put her on my chest, but the poster is asking everyone what things you do with your DCs that feel extra special.

So for me its our long baths each evening where we cuddle and play, just enjoying each other.

i find talking about the baby to my other children was the most bonding thing. I made me feel like part of a family with all of them. Also, when Ds kisses her and hugs her, that's lovely.
other things: bathing her, talking to her about stuff. I think bonding hardest with first one where she sorta emerged into a vacuum. There are difficulties with no3 in that i tend to spend only time i need to with her, and she is easily pleased so sometimes i can go all day without really looking at her. I MN whilst bf so that's not such a bonding experience!

i don't find talking about this daft, because i found i did have to make a conscious effort to feel attached to her because..i don't really like babies.

I found it took time.

I had a difficult pregancy and birth and was far iller than I realised in that first year.

Also having twins was hard. There was just so much to do on so little sleep.

I loved to read to them.
I guess I'll never know how much they understood, but they used to look up at me from their little car seats as if enraptured.

Actually, this thread is making me sad cos I never got to do all those things like slings and long baths.

As soon as one was fed it was the other's turn. Then nappies. Then try to put them down. Soon back round to feeding again.

So absorbed by this thread i forgot for a moment I was in labour.... suddenly felt a squeezing pain in my belly and thought, what the hell is that? Can't wait for this bub to arrive so I can try some of these things....