To be a Doctor but to forget all my medical training when it comes to my own DD

[loopylo]

I'm a doctor, I spent 6 years at medical school and work as an anaesthetist. I am now on maternity leave and when ever DD is sick or just being a normal baby I become irrational and have to ask my DH (also a doctor) stupid questions.

For some reason with my own child I have forgotten all my medical training.

I did find it odd in pregnancy and with my HV how much people expect you to know just because I'm a doctor. I know nothing, I'm new to this and I want to be treated like ever other new mum. Any other medical people-nurses, doctors, mv etc feel the same ?

I'm a GP and I know I can't be objective with my DDs. When DD1 had a really high temp and was unwell I had convinced myself it was Kawasaki's disease. She had an ear infection.

I also convinced myself that DD2 had an accessory nipple. It was a skin tag and fell off when she was a week old

Disclaimer: I am not normally a complete numpty and know a reasonable amount of medicine.

Totally not the same at all but I'm a childminder and find I can deal with all manner of behaviour problems in other people's children but I am unable to remain as calm etc. when it comes to my own children. I am embarrassed when in public and get frustrated with my children on occasion because people expect me to just be able to cope like I do when I'm childminding, but there's something about your own children for sure!

Ok YANBU. This might be a bit long but the details are essential to get the full story.

My Dad fell off a step ladder in March whilst cleaning the top of the camper van.

Being the dutiful DD (and I had a 5 month old at home) I took him to A&E and waited 5 hours with him to be told he was ok just bruising to his ankle.

I ashamed to say my sister and I both thought he was milking the situation and took him hill walking and all sorts bearing in mind that
a) the camper roof did not need doing that day
b) it was very windy
c) he wasnt using the special extended pole we bought him for cleaning the camper
d) he stupidly put the step ladders at a very acute angle
e) we had told him not to clean the roof when on his own as it can be a bit precarious

In the meantime he had other health issues that he was treated for but his ankle remained a problem.

in July he was still moaning about his ankle so I told him to go and see a physio privately to get it fixed. He was sent straight to A+E (for the second time) where he was diagnosed as having a totally ruptured tendoachilles. dad said `I told you it bl*y well hurt

The shame is that my sister is a nurse and (and i have never disclosed this on MN before but here goes) I am a physiotherapist myself.

in my defence to the orthopaedic surgeon (who i work with and who repaired my dad's ruputured tendon) its a long time since I treated adults and tbh i dont really care to get THAT close to my Dad's feet.

I still feel very very guilty.

Am a nurse and like the poster above tend to disregard general childhood stuff with casual "you'll feel better in the morning" then feel a tad guilty when I get up to a child with a raging temp etc at 2am...

Also quite often hide my background as i a) possibly know very little about the issue in question (not a paed nurse) OR b) struggle to remember when under stress from child being ill.

DD2 was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at 4 days old following emergency surgery, and the assumption was I knew exactly what that entailed, I had just gone through labour, was postpartum with 3 days of little or no sleep with a seriuosly sick baby, I didn't know which way was up...... NEVER AGAIN!!! (fortunately DH was is non medic and asked lots of appropriate questions)

You are a mum and a patient first and a doctor second. Always worth remembering.

Leave your day job behind when you are at home.

Forgot to add I think it does get a little bit easier as the new mum thing fades and your confiedence in your parenting and getting to know your child and what is normal increases

It is very intersting the response you get when as a relative (or a patient to that matter) if you do disclose what your profession is.

When my mum was ill I remember talking to the Surgeon post surgery with my mum and we both completely misunderstood what she was actutally saying (which given I am a AHP and my mum was a nurse at Sister level)seems unbelievable. She was trying to break bad news gently and we took it as positive news!!

The only time i have ever ever pulled rank on being a AHP was when my mum was near the end and was in a bed opposite a poor lady who was terribly confused and really really distressing my mum and I admit I lost my temper (but I was never rude) through frustration with the nursing staff because there was a side room available but it had to be saved for possible incoming infectious patients - although it was empty.

I phoned a `friend' and we got a side room on another ward where she passed away in peace and dignity.

I did go back and apologise to the nurse I spoke to because it wasnt her fault but I have no regrets doing what I did.

I am not a doctor and have no medical training (apart from being a ex veterinary nurse ).

I used to be pretty confident when DD and DS1 & 2 where little.

Then DD was dx with ALL. I spent two years caring for her before we lost her. I managed her chemo, wound care, night feeds, pain meds, knew when she was anaemic etc etc.

NOW I am bloody useless if any of the kids get poorly. I seem to have lost all my confidence in dealing with 'well' sick children IYSWIM.

Thats why I love NHS direct and my lovely GP. Its really weird. I really cant seem to judge if the kids need to see someone or if they are seriously ill or just a bit off colour.

Do you think it will always be like that? I bhope not, it makes me feel a right idiot.

hogshead I dont blame you for doing that. You have to do whats right at the time. We would all do the same.

I understand, I used to work on a post-natal ward and we had a few doctors pass through. I'm afraid I fell in to the trap of expecting them to know what to do etc. I was very unreasonable, although I did treat them the same as everyone else.

I don't know why I thought that just because you were a GP you would automatically know what to do with a newborn .

Sorry to hear about your dd, MrsDeVere.

There's an old saying about 'cobblers' wives go barefoot and doctors' wives die young'. Certainly every doctor friend of mine can recount occasions when they've packed a complaining child off to school with a brisk 'it's only a cold' only to get a phone call saying the school had called an ambulance...

After I had had my dd (in the hospital I had done my mw training and worked as a mw) my dh declared he wanted a 'proper' midwife to show him how to bath a baby!!!

Oh, and I have given up listening to my (nurse) sister when she tells me I must take ds to the GP. After one too many pointless visits.

mind you with my mum (being a nurse) it was well known to my sister and I that you had to be dead, dying or have visiable (?sp) proof of illness to get a day off school in our house!

Lol Edam that is so true both my Dad and DP are paramedics so far they have told me it is just a cold - I ended up in hosp 6 hrs later with meningitis, also I was told not to be silly you are not in labour it is to early, Thankfully one of DP's friends called around and delivered DD, also have had a few broken bones but hey if it does not kill you it will make you stronger
Moral of the story always err on the side of caution plse

MrsD sorry dont mean to be flippant. I have read one of your threads before and dont mean any disrepect in anyway to what you have been through. sorry

My mother is a doctor, and my brothers and I were sent to school almost no matter what. A memorable one being (when we all had chicken pox) "Do not take your tops off for PE".
She DID deliver my son when ALL maternity staff were busy, though, and triumphantly held him up to the midwife, who had told us all we were being ridiculous and there was ages to go yet twenty minutes earlier, with the words "I told you so! Luckily, he's fine, although perhaps now someone could sort out my daugther's stiches?"

hogshead I didnt think you were flippant at all. Even if you were it is allowed, I dont mind honest

My OH was a paramedic for years. I was really ill one night and he refused to stay in, telling me not to make a fuss. He went off clubbing. I passed out, came round and called an ambulance (pre everyone having mobile phones). They came round and sorted me out, I didnt want to go to hospital but they insisted on going up to the club OH was at and made him come home and look after me.

It didnt live it down hahaha!

YANBU I know a pediatrician who wasn't given the help she wanted with bf. Was actually laughed at someone she asked and comment along the lines of 'well why don't you know'. Like they cover that stuff in medical school.

A complete side but I'm a Dr (but PhD) in physics, but DH with his English degree invariably gets the appropriate questions right in the pub quiz. I also have to ummm a lot of people ask me questions but I come out with bullshit that will sidetrack them and make me sound clever

I'm hopeless too. Viral rashes and is she/ isn't she dehydrated are my downfall - and I should know better. It gets a bit easier....